Keystone Cops, Kate style

Source: Wikipedia

Source: Wikipedia

There were two spastic bodies sweating profusely in a 10 by 10 foot room. Arms were flailing, legs twisted. The gross motor movements made Stephen Hawking look agile.

It all started innocently enough.

I was going to the grocery store but decided to check my computer (because I’m neurotic). Most people would check on their smart phone. That would require bending down to fish it out of my purse.

It’s easier to walk to the office and do it on the desktop.

Morgan, our precocious three-year-old cat was there. That’s not unusual but she was staring at our small ottoman (we call it a hassock but it’s really an ottoman) placed so Hazel (our not so precocious 9-year-old cat) can look out the window.

I know that look. It’s the “oh boy we have a live animal in the house that I can play with” look. I have seen it before.

I gingerly moved the ottoman and there was a terrified chipmunk staring up at me.

Let me start with the obvious. There is no exterior door to that room. The windows are never opened so it had to come in the house from somewhere else at some other time. I have no idea how long it had been in the house but we do have four cats who all love a good romp with a chippie. That would limit it’s time to “not too long or it would be dead.”

The chippie doesn’t understand that I am trying to rescue it from the powerful jaws of a feisty cat. It thinks I am going to make sushi out of it.

I did the only thing I could think of. I called for the beloved husband. Not to catch the thing because he is no good at that but it would take two.

Our office is small. All the furniture is built-in. We have very little stuff sitting on the floor (because the room is so damn small!).

We closed the door so that we could start sweating profusely (why do these things happen after I have taken a shower?) and the little bugger couldn’t get out of the room. If he escaped to the rest of the house we were all doomed. There is no way we could get him out from under furniture.

All you have to do is corner it, throw a towel over it and scoop it up. It’s much easier with mice. They are more accommodating. This little guy had two speeds — stopped and Mach 1 (that’s approaching or exceeding the speed of sound).

We spent 20 minutes working on this. At this point the room smelled like a boys’ locker room and I am sure the little guy must have peed. How could he not? I would have if two critters a thousand times bigger than me were chasing me around with a towel.

We finally got him to run into a trash can and put a cover on it. (Keep in mind that he had run into this trash can at least five times but quickly leaped out over our heads to escape.)

He was escorted out of the building with a nice severance package (his life). Last I saw, he was at the chippie bar regaling his friends with stories of his time in the big house and how he fought off a fierce cat and two humongous Godzilla-like creatures who had a towel and a trash can.

Morgan is still hanging around the ottoman. She can’t believe that we ousted her friend.

Hazel on her hassock!

Hazel on her hassock with Morgan on the floor saying, “Where are you little chippie?”

39 thoughts on “Keystone Cops, Kate style

  1. It’s interesting how upsetting animals inside the house can be. Birds, for example, are lovely and romantic when they’re outside. But a bird in the house is a different story. One of my daughters, mature and calm in most circumstances, called me one night when a bird got into the house. She was … should I say it? … freaked out. The blanket was a brilliant way to catch your chipmunk. Bare hands would have been a disaster.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I did a quick bare handed catch with a chipmunk once. I had to act fast and there was no time to grab a towel. I got it out but I also got bit. It didn’t break the skin but it was a reminder that it’s not a good idea.


  2. Hooray to you and your hubby, Kate. I’m delighted that you – and your hubby – were able to catch and release the chipmonk.

    We’ve had to rescue anoles (small lizard-like critters) and assorted other animals from our cats. The anoles, after some effort, we’d scoop them up and deposit them safely out doors. Dave also rescued two ducks and a squirrel that wandered uninvited into our lanai. One flew out the gaping hole in our screen (that was later repaired), Dave quickly ‘boxed’ another and released it. The squirrel took a little more convincing, but he quickly exited the screen door that we’d left open (to let out a wasp) on our lanai. Thru all of this, our kitties watched from our family room and hoped they’d get their turn to “play” with the visiting critters.

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  3. Hahahaha! You have the most interesting visitors in the “big house.” I’m glad you managed to free the terrified chippie and even happier you shared the hilarious adventure. 🙂


    • It would work better if there was an exterior door. The chipmunk stayed on the floor running from corner to corner. and did not jump up and it would have had to get up to get out the window.


  4. The vision I have of you and your Husband dealing with the chase and capture, Morgan watching from the french doors, and the skeered chipmunk have me giggling this morning. Been a long time since we have had to deal with something fast and furious in the house… unless we count the bats that set up housekeeping in the attic. Lucky little chipmunk!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ugh. Boss Cat likes to bring in lizards. They aren’t tasty enough to eat, but they are super fun to play with…until they run under the file cabinet that is too heavy to move. I lock Boss Cat up in another room and usually they find their way out the open door.

    But sometimes they don’t. I thought one 8 incher had made his way outside, only to discover him 6 days later. I was lying on a mat doing yoga and saw him looking down on me from the top of a curtain rod: “Little help, lady?”

    Swept him into a dustpan and put him outside.


    • Swept him into a dustpan? I guess they don’t run. No lizards here but a couple of houses ago we did have small garter snakes. One of my old cats liked to bring those around but never in the house. One time I saw Mollie (who doesn’t go outside) playing with what I thought was a catnip mouse except it’s tail was too long. Jake (the only cat that does go out) brought her a dead mouse to play with. How nice of him. They smell if you don’t find them. Really, really bad.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I am sure one of your cats brought it in. We had a similar situation with a mouse that our cat Toby brought in the house, only we saw her bring it in but couldn’t get to her fast enough. Then it was chase the mouse all over the house with 3 cats and a dog! What fun! We did finally catch it and put it back outside.


    • I’m pretty sure too. Jake goes out and since he only has two teeth, he could easily bring one inside without injury. Mice are easier to catch without the pets hovering but once they get into an area with “stuff” to hide under, it’s much harder. The chipmunk was very fast. We are lucky the room was small with no where to hide.


  7. All the emotions Morgan must have felt! Excitement, curiosity, frustration, amusement, disappointment. It is good the chipmunk was lost in a place of humane humanity. Yay, you and husband.


    • Glad it wasn’t a squirrel. I hear they are hard to catch. Other than being very fast (at least faster than two old fogies) it wasn’t too hard. Morgan was definitely disappointed. She was looking forward to a toy that moved on it’s own.


  8. How funny! We watched a chipmunk running around the backyard this morning while drinking coffee on the deck. I remember rescuing a chipmunk from a friend’s cat once. The poor thing was shaking so badly I figured it went off into the woods to have a heart attack.


    • I was on vacation in Curacao many years ago. My girlfriend was next door to me. We were both on the ground level of a small hotel. She pulled back her bedspread and there was a small lizard there. Of course she screamed. We don’t have lizards here and they look menacing. The non-English speaking staff kept saying “don’t worry, it’s harmful” but it didn’t make us feel any better even though we knew what they were trying to say. Every night we checked the entire room for lizards.


    • Our old cat no longer patrols the property so they have proliferated. I wondered if my toothless old cat brought it in through the cat door. Yes, I read about the chippie who was gazing at your naked body! Chipmunk week!


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