Sassy cats – Cat diets, the bane of my existence

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This is unusual. She is usually in my lap or with Gus who is looking on. Within 5 minutes she left the beloved husband like a day old bagel and cuddled with Gus.

It’s the peep today with observations about cat diets.

Cats are like people. They don’t like any mention of weight. Their response is “my fur is fluffy” or “it’s my winter weight” so I don’t freeze (I have completely indoor cats so freezing isn’t an option).

Gus does not like to be weighed. It makes him unhappy or maybe he knows how unhappy it makes me. Either way, weigh-in time is a hassle.

I started with the weight from the vet’s scale for Gus. Bad idea! All scales are different even if only by ounces. For cats, we are always looking at ounces. For the first home weigh-in he had gained just under two ounces. This was a week after the diet started. Not the result I wanted but again, maybe difference in scales.

The following week he lost 10 ounces. I wondered if that was a lot for a cat, so I adjusted the diet a little bit. I was rewarded with NO WEIGHT LOSS for this week. Boogers.

Here are some observations.

Feeding cats on a diet is a full-time job, especially with four cats.

They all have their quirks. Gracie isn’t a morning cat, so she often doesn’t eat breakfast or it’s just a small nosh. I can’t leave anything out because Gus is the resident dish washer. He cleans up everyone’s food if I’m not vigilant.

The other cats will adopt a quirk if it’s to their benefit. Gracie likes to have high tea (without the tea) around 2 to 3 p.m. The other cats think that’s a great idea so unless I can be very quiet (which never works with Gus who has the biggest ears of all time!) I have several cats milling around my legs when I’m giving Gracie her snack.

At mealtime both Morgan and Sasha eat a little bit and they head down to the litter boxes. Then they come back to finish it off. If I’m not careful, Gus will already have cleaned their plates.

Kibble has been almost banned here. Only Morgan and Gracie (who are at perfect weights) are allowed any kibble and it’s strictly regimented (that means I’m standing there fighting off Gus). Note to self: Check into getting a light saber.

Hungry cats use puppy-dog-eyes to make you feel guilty. It works a percentage of the time (note the zero-weight loss for this week).

One good thing that came out of this is an improvement in Gracie’s diet. I never knew how much she ate because she’s a grazer. She ate more kibble than I thought. Now she gets a spoonful of rotisserie chicken along with standard cat food and eats them both easily.  (Small win!) She still barfs a lot so not a miracle.

My schedule looks something like this:

6:30 a.m. Sasha paws my face to get me up. I resist and try to sleep until 7. That never works so I feed all the cats by 7. I pick up Gracie’s uneaten food by 7:15 and wonder why I bothered.

By 7:30 I’m cleaning up the plates. Cats are in food coma. They wake at different times but if I’m lucky that will last through lunch.

10 a.m. — This is breakfast time for Gracie. She goes into food coma until tea time.

Noonish – Gus is moseying around to check if there’s a stray morsel anywhere on the feeding mats. If not, he will come to see what I’m doing and if there is any hope. There is not.

2 p.m. – This is when the nonsense starts. Gracie wants high tea. Other cats hear clinking and cans opening. I am guilted into giving a teaspoon of cat food to Gus and Morgan. Sasha is still sleeping.

2:30 p.m. – Gracie decides to do computer work. She does this by walking across my keyboard trying to find Chewy. Gus hovers nearby telling her to click on the food button. (He is an opportunist, and it works well for him.)

3 p.m. – Everyone is sort of settled down.

3:30 p.m. – Sasha wakes up. She puts butt in face and purrs. I explain it’s not mealtime but she’s not having it. I play with her to distract and that works but cuts into my productivity. Gus comes to make sure the play doesn’t include food. It doesn’t.

4 p.m. – Everyone thinks it’s dinnertime. I make them wait until at least 4:30 or they’ll be whining at 8 p.m.

4:30 p.m. – Dinner prep starts and cats start to circle my legs. I almost trip. They find that funny until they realize I’m the one with opposable thumbs which you need to open cans. Usually there is enough food around that I don’t have to monitor supper.

7 p.m. – Snack time. Gracie doesn’t participate. She eats kibble but not snack kibble or Churus. The other cats are fine with that. More for them!

11 p.m. – I sneak off to bed. Sometimes Gus watches me patiently just in case but I must be strong.

I really need a life!

61 thoughts on “Sassy cats – Cat diets, the bane of my existence”

  3. I just had a thought – is there some type of exercise you could do to help with the weight loss. I know Carol had one cat that went on walks – she has a sizeable property near a wood and she took it out on a leash. Another one played with a feather on a stick and she’d run all over the house with it and it would follow her … then they would not have to have less food?

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  4. This is funny – I had no idea about the idiosyncrasies of having and feeding multiple cats until my cat friend Carol had three and described it (on Facebook where we connected back in 2009); then I met you and your cats. I also never knew that cats would wake you up early because they were ready to eat until you both wrote about it. Carol had cats with special food needs too due to digestive issues (or just plain finicky – one could only eat raw food). Before you two, I only knew my friend Marge’s cat whom I fed every night when she went away on vacation when she was still healthy. That cat hated me but Marge said “don’t worry if Missy hisses at you when you come in to feed her – she’s like that with everyone.” Now Carol shelters and feeds a contingent of feral kitties and worries over which ones like kibble and which ones prefer canned. 🙂

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  7. Well, they have learned how to keep you on your toes. Maybe they have a similar schedule written down: Gracie: help mom on the computer, Gus: make mom walk around more by demanding food, Sahsa: Mom isn’t feeling needed enough, we should mix up our feedings some…

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  8. I can relate. I have 14 and some are on special diets- and Tubby, I mean Tuffy, should be on one. 🙂 Have a nice weekend.

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    • I struggle with 4. I don’t know how you do it with 14! Mine all have different feeding spots so they don’t steal. That sort of helps but has me running all over.

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  11. Loved this Kate. It’s a Cat’s Life, or in your case a Cats Life without the apostrophe.
    Maya got me up at 10 to 6 this morning, though I told her last night not to wake me up until after 6.30. She must have already been asleep and didn’t hear me. She’s got fussy with her food, insisting I put something yummy in it like chicken. Tough if we’re not having it, but she did have tuna yesterday. Today it was a bit of chicken and gravy so she cleared her bowl, but only after I’d put it all in a different dish to make it feel ‘special’. Cottage pie tomorrow, so minced beef and stock. Another win win. Got me right where she wants me.

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  13. Kate, I am overwhelmed just reading the schedule! At one time we had three cats under one roof… way back. Holly, Spanky and Sleepy. Holly wasn’t fat but not skinny either. Spanky was our skinny cat and Sleepy was so floofy I don’t know if he was fat or it was floof. That was before we took the cats to the vet on the regular. They were all healthy and lived long lives. I don’t know what we were doing for that to be true but I am thankful. It makes me question if it is about the food they are making now. They ate canned cat food, canned tuna and whatever we were having. They all loved spaghetti and meatballs the most with Thanksgiving dinner coming in second. Those were the days.

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  15. Oh my word, they’re really keeping you on your toes, aren’t they? Does hot food count as “a diet”? If so, I know exactly how it feels dealing with cats on a diet.

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  16. Gosh – makes me almost feel guilty for only having one cat. HAHAHA Kidding of course – you have a heckofa schedule. Even with one cat it’s a challenge – their bag of tricks to get what they want is bottomless. Add to that the fact that once you think you have their pattern DOWN they change it…..on purpose. Sigh. They have being ADORABLE on their side though and usually win the battle.

    Hugs, Pam

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    • Sometimes adorable wears thin. Just got home (at 4 p.m. so I missed tea) and was greeted by 3 cats wondering where I was. I’ll start the routine shortly but there will be no tea time this afternoon!

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  17. The other cats will adopt a quirk if it’s to their benefit.

    I’d suggest that people are the same way. I’m laughing at your daily feeding ritual. It’s more than a schedule. You are a good cat mom.

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  18. Take what I’m saying in the nicest possible way, Kate . . .

    PICK ONE:
    a. Let Gus be a fat cat.
    b. Let Gus eat all he wants, but get him a treadmill or gym membership.
    c. See if they make diet pills for cats to use to lessen his appetite.
    d. Sing Que Sera, Sera loudly and see if the cats join in.

    Good luck!

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  19. All I can say is that they have you very well trained!! What a challenge, but I hope some more weight comes off for Gus and Sasha!

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    • Yes they do. I was concerned that 10 ounces was a lot for one week. Well, that concern has sailed! I have to weigh Sasha but she has been a real trooper. Considering she’s such a primadonna, she has accepted the twice a day routine without a hitch or any whining except that she’d prefer I move up the dinner time a little bit.

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  20. Households with cats on diets are rough places. When Boss Cat was on a diet, we just had one cat. You’d think that would be easier. Except she believed all food was her food and stole everything off the counter. Eggs, meat, and dairy were her favorites, but NOTHING was safe. Broccoli, tofu, rice, baked goods, Chinese mooncakes…she stole everything. Our house echoed with screams of, “CAT!” or “Someone come guard the food, I need to pee!” We had to get a stainless steel breadbox after she broke into the wooden one.

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    • Oh my! Except for Morgan and potato chips, none of my cats eat people food. Well, Gracie and her rotisserie chicken. That would be tough. I’m having enough trouble guarding food dishes to have to worry about what I have on the counter!

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  22. I am glad I don’t have any cats on diets here it sounds grim. As an English woman can I say afternoon tea is served at about 4 O’clock and high tea which usually includes something hot at about 6 O’clock..

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  23. I can’t imagine keeping track of four cats and their feeding schedules! I have a hard enough time with one cat. If I get it wrong, on kitty time schedule time, Andy wastes a serving of his expensive wet prescription kitty food. Other times, he licks the plate clean. If I note the time he licked the plate clean, thinking that’s the time to feed him next time that time comes around…yep! he doesn’t eat then or barely touches the plate! As for dealing with a kitty with a weight issue…. you are either a god or a very lucky human to succeed! LOL!

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    • This is the third time I had food issues. I had a diabetic cat that couldn’t eat kibble (but loved it). He was an older cat so I could put it on top of a bureau that he couldn’t get to and that worked. Another was an overweight cat. The bureau worked for her until she lost some weight and could jump up there! Where there’s a will…

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