Mollie here. This week the human put me in the portal to hell. I hollered loudly but it did no good. I was whisked to the V-E-T where they did horrible things to me. Seriously, personal space people! It was inappropriate. I’ll need therapy for that.
The human was upset. I stopped eating wet cat food. I haven’t eaten any for almost a week. Not a problem for me. I have the crunchy stuff which I like better. It was her stupid idea to eat wet after my last dental procedure. Bleah!
She got all weepy on the ride over. I could tell she was worried. She said that the last time she took Hazel to the vet, she came home without a cat. I tried to assure her that I didn’t intend to leave my kingdom just yet. We have that young’un who isn’t completely trained. She’s a little slow on the “pick-up” and needed some “what for.”
They took blood and weighed me. My weight was up and everyone knew that I had been sneaking the dry stuff when no one was looking. I just fluffed my tail and flapped my adorable eyes. What ev!
When we got to the car my human said to me, “You were so good Mollie! No yelling or resisting. No one got hurt! You are a wonderful cat.”
And so it happened. We pulled into the drive-through singing an old Eagles tune. “Well, I’m running down the road trying to loosen my load….” (Imagine that in meow language with the worst human singer ever!)
The blood work is fine. The portal from hell is safely back in the closet and I’ll eat what I damn well please. End of story.