Sassy cats – The portal to hell

The portal to hell!

Mollie here. This week the human put me in the portal to hell. I hollered loudly but it did no good. I was whisked to the V-E-T where they did horrible things to me. Seriously, personal space people! It was inappropriate. I’ll need therapy for that.

The human was upset. I stopped eating wet cat food. I haven’t eaten any for almost a week. Not a problem for me. I have the crunchy stuff which I like better. It was her stupid idea to eat wet after my last dental procedure. Bleah!

She got all weepy on the ride over. I could tell she was worried. She said that the last time she took Hazel to the vet, she came home without a cat. I tried to assure her that I didn’t intend to leave my kingdom just yet. We have that young’un who isn’t completely trained. She’s a little slow on the “pick-up” and needed some “what for.”

They took blood and weighed me. My weight was up and everyone knew that I had been sneaking the dry stuff when no one was looking. I just fluffed my tail and flapped my adorable eyes. What ev!

When we got to the car my human said to me, “You were so good Mollie! No yelling or resisting. No one got hurt! You are a wonderful cat.”

I realized she was coming off of her blubbery spell so I said, “You were good too Mama. Let’s get you a Starbucks!”

And so it happened. We pulled into the drive-through singing an old Eagles tune. “Well, I’m running down the road trying to loosen my load….” (Imagine that in meow language with the worst human singer ever!)

The blood work is fine. The portal from hell is safely back in the closet and I’ll eat what I damn well please. End of story.


74 thoughts on “Sassy cats – The portal to hell

  1. Pingback: Sassy cats – Mollie, part 2 | Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

  2. I totally sympathize with the cats not eating issue.
    I’ve been very ineffectively trying to convert my dry food eaters to wet.

    I foolishly thought I would step directly into the ones with the highest animal protein. It’s very expensive. It assumed, like an idiot, they would love it. Not so much. Many dollars have been thrown in the garbage.

    So now we are going the route of transitioning with fancy feast wet. Some flavors are favored, and some are not. Some favored flavors are occasionally disdained for reasons my puny human brain cannot comprehend.

    A couple of weeks ago it appeared to me that they weren’t eating either the wet or the dry. I was starting to panic. But then they settled into a routine in which they dictate all aspects of the food they consume and I’m merely the inadequate wait staff and financier. This is an expensive transition. I’m fairly sure I’m spending more on their food than mine.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I relate to this. When we adopted Gracie she had crystals in her urine. Vet wanted her to get more water and switch to wet. Tell a cat she has to drink more water. Not going to happen. We went on a ride with all sorts of flavors, brands, etc of wet. Toppers, supplements. We tried it all. Some no one ate. Others everyone but her ate. For a while she only ate cooked chicken. Then she settled on FF grilled chicken. No feast or other flavors, only grilled chicken. Fortunately my other cats will eat that too. Still not sure what’s going on with Mollie (still not eating right) and I’m not convinced it’s over.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Tuna juice. Mollie knew it was available but not offered. How rude and dramatics called for. Next? Did anyone say grilled salmon chunked and hand fed?
    Mollie use your words – Mom was wooooorrried. ( and no one likes the portal to hell)
    No one injured – that deserves a thumbnail size of vanilla ice cream for sure.
    Pawsome calm rest for both Mollie and Mom ( and that young un does need a bit of direction, so sweep in there, Mollie.)

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Those humans, they get blubbery over their four-legged family and sneer at other humans. Yeah, we four-leggeds are much easier to get along with, says Max.

    Cute and funny. Glad Mollie is okay. Have a great weekend.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I hope your gut instinct is wrong and Mollie just changed her mind on the wet food. Who knows the manufacturer could’ve changed something little and she can tell. Tyler is down to one wet food he’ll eat unless I sprinkle the freeze-dried chicken on the offending flavor he used to like. Vets can only check/see so much. Trinity got a clean bill of health at just 9 years for a routine yearly appointment and passed 5 days later completely unexpectedly. Don’t you wish they could just tell us what’s up?

    Liked by 3 people

    • Same thing happened with Hazel. She had a physical and one month later she was gone from a massive abdominal tumor and congestive heart disease. How does that happen? That’s a lot of why I’m a little crazy this round. Mollie is older than Hazel was. I’m going to see if I can get her to eat something else or maybe tuna juice. Yes, I wish they could signal to us what’s going on.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I have a cat who absolutely will NOT eat wet food…..somewhere in the middle is the ideal and most cooperative cat but he’s not my Teddy. Glad Mollie’s blood work, exam went well though. I think some cats DO change eating habits with age – I know my Sammy changed a LOT through the years with eating habits….I think these periods in the lives of our kitties are how they got that “persnickety” reputation!

    Hugs, Pam

    Liked by 2 people

    • Still worried though. Since the behavior change was abrupt and new, there wasn’t enough time to lose weight. I will monitor that to be sure. Mollie was adopted as an adult after she had kittens. She wouldn’t eat wet then. Over the years I was able to get her to eat a tablespoon to supplement the dry. Last year she had a massive dental procedure losing several teeth. Afterward she moved to wet and stayed there (with occasional kibble) until 2 weeks ago. Not sure what the impetus was for the change but I’m keeping my eye on her. She’s going on 16 so any change makes me nervous. At least I know it’s not of the “biggies.”

      Liked by 2 people

  7. That positive talk out loud and singing an Eagles tune out LOUD is good! Also good that you got Mollie checked out which you already know. Mollie, you were very smart and thoughtful to suggest a Starbucks for Mama… Now you can get back to the work of getting Sasha trained for the life of a Sassy Cat. Glad Mollie checked out okay♥

    Liked by 3 people

  8. In the words of a famous black cat…”relax cupcake…she is fine” So glad the check up went well. And you did say she has gained weight. You know how finicky cats can be..perhaps try different flavors of wet food.

    Liked by 2 people

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