Somewhat Random 5 for July 12, 2026 – Guests, death, obituaries, preferences, memories

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Company! – We had relatives visiting this week. We spent some quality time eating, drinking and discussing cats. They have six. I only have two. The discussion was very lively. We talked about other things too, but I can’t remember anything but the cats!

More death – In the last week or so we lost two people. Neither one was someone we knew well but they were connected to people we did know. My mother, ever the superstitious one when it came to death, always said what twos it, threes it. Hopefully not this time.

Speaking of death — Obituaries are interesting. They paint a rosy picture of the deceased even when you know it’s not true. The latest trend is to write it yourself (before you die!) so you can reflect on what is important to you. Last year an old friend died, and I could tell that he wrote the obit himself. It was heavy on his career successes and accolades and light on the family part. Despite having a long-term illness there was no “he died with his loving family by his side” notation and the word “beloved” didn’t appear anywhere.

Speaking of obituaries – The beloved husband and I have decided to keep our demise simple. No funeral and more of a notice than a gushy obituary. Nobody cares what our favorite hobbies are/were and unless we win the FIFA Peace Prize, our mile markers are meaningless to anyone else. We will let our loved ones mourn in whatever way they wish, hopefully sharing a margarita and adopting a cat.

No good bag goes unused. Gracie was the original bag lady here. She was a very wise soul.

Also related – We remember and mourn as we do. I still mourn beloved pets from decades ago. I remember their idiosyncrasies and treasure them (mostly, there were a few with bad habits). There are many people who are not remembered or loved as fervently. I read that within two generations our existence is forgotten. I know nothing about my grandparents. Three were gone before I was born and the other died when I was very young. I have no warm memories of baking cookies or being cradled in love. I’m sure they were kind loving people because my parents told me so. I still miss my parents. I often invoke the “what would mom do” when I’m in a weird situation although I’m just as likely to ask “what would Gracie (my late cat) do” too. Gracie knew how to handle situations. I could write a book on her.

So how was your weekend.  

20 thoughts on “Somewhat Random 5 for July 12, 2026 – Guests, death, obituaries, preferences, memories”

  1. I’m familiar with things coming in threes.
    Hubby and I have been talking about what to do when one of us passes. Our wishes are simple, no flashy funeral, just a simple cremation , no service. We are quiet people, don’t like fuss, and don’t like the hypocrisy of ‘caring relatives’ coming out of the woodwork to get a slice when they couldn’t give a toss about us whilst living.

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  2. My mother always said bad news comes in three too – I hope this doesn’t happen for you. I think of my long-lost pets as well and though it will be 10 years on December 2nd since I lost my last pet, a canary named Buddy, I often think of him and the others before him, especially their idiosyncrasies. I remember all their death dates in my head and think about them on that anniversary. I have not thought of an obituary notice for myself as I have no family left and no close local friends – they are spread out around the U.S. years ago, having left Michigan for their career, or that of their husband. That is a peculiar predicament for me to be in.

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  4. Our weekend has been good! We had rain!
    No funeral. Three kitties’ ashes with ours. No obituary.
    Gracie was a sweetheart♥
    I feel very fortunate to have known and spent time with my grandparents. Without my Granddad I would not have had my love of horses and cats. I do miss my Mom, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. I don’t feel like I ever really bonded with my father. He passed when I was 20.
    A book about Gracie? That would be so special.

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  6. Gracie was a great cat along with all the others you gave a loving home to. Takes a special person Kate, to suffer heartbreak of any kind then jump back in and love again. As far as forgetting. I still mourn those I’ve lost. Whether I’m remembered, who knows.

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  7. Too many people I know dying these days. I guess that’s what happens if you make it to this age. I’m with you. No funeral. Cremate me, and spread the ashes somewhere. The ocean would be my first choice.

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  8. Hello, Gracie – rest in peace. Hardly a day goes by when I don’t mourn our Kitty (who passed away 5 years ago). Her passing was an enormous shock for my wife and myself. When you are as old as we are (88, 87), it is not unusual to become attached to a beloved pet friend. R.I.P. Kitty . . . . .

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  9. Well now…..I could relate to so many parts of this post I don’t know where to begin! We too have very simple “when our time comes” wishes – we have practically no family and our friends also aren’t fond of “farewell hoopla”. Other than a desire to have our pets’ ashes in with our own…..that’s about it. As for an obituary – we know that those who “need” to know we’re gone will know it without being in the newspaper. Sharing is caring but we will do that while we’re breathing thank you very much and the end will be as WE want it to be. After all most of us lived our lives as we wanted to so the end ought to be what we want it to be as well. Enough of that – now let me say WHERE THE HECK IS THE RAIN EVERYONE ELSE IS GETTING BUT US??? We are as dry as a twig. Anyone who has too much of it – send it to Virginia please! Tee Hee

    Big hugs, Pam

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