This week was the primary election in our state. Oy vay! (In many ways!)
About a week ago the phone calls started coming. Every doodah person running for dog catcher was calling to
insist persuade me to vote for him.
The calls started at 7 a.m.! Seriously? That’s before my coffee! If you call before my coffee I am for sure not voting for you.
The first step we tried was to turn down all the ringers. All the way back. It’s rare that we get a phone call. Most people email us. We check that several times a day. We forget about our phone’s answering machine. (I’m pretty sure Publisher’s Clearing House comes to the door with a big check so there are no worries there.)
What else would we miss? That the IRS is after us and we need to send money to someone in Bangladesh?
The ringer change was helpful but it didn’t stop the calls. We could still hear them. Four rings, then the answering message, then some stupid message until our machine cuts them off. (Folks, this is not the way to win an election!)
After about the 15th call by 1 p.m. I noticed a button that shuts off the answering machine. Damn! Why didn’t I think of that earlier?
Pop and the thing was off. Most callers went for a max of 6 rings but there was one tenacious bastard that kept ringing until the beloved husband picked up the phone and slammed it down. (Hopefully that wasn’t the Nigerian prince who is in deep doo-doo and needs our help.)
If you think I’m kidding, my phone listed 49 missed phone calls for Monday. We are lucky if we get two legitimate phone calls a week. You know legitimate – from someone we know or a notice of a doctor’s appointment. In reality we get more of the latter than the former.
About the same time this started with the phone calls, my spam filter on my emails stopped working. Perhaps it’s on vacation. Without me. (Not nice! I like umbrella drinks too!) Not only am I getting all those insipid drug ads for ailments I don’t have but I’m getting doubles, 20 minutes apart.
I jacked up my junk level to high (that means I can only get emails from my deceased mother). I figured I could check my junk mail and see what it was catching that shouldn’t be there. It didn’t matter. I continued to get offers for low rate mortgages and Dr. Oz’s newest pill.
There is a conspiracy going on. I only hope that with the primary over things will settle down. As for putting the answering machine back on, we’ll see about that. Being unplugged isn’t a bad thing. You want to contact me? Send me an email instead.
If you are that Nigerian prince, my prayers are with you (but not my money).