Source: Clipartpanda
It’s that time of the year.
Holidays are over. Super bowl is a memory. Weather is lousy. That damn rodent saw his shadow.
I’m sick of reading, watching movies and catching up on other sedentary things. It’s the winter coma.
There are telltale signs.
I drool over spring clothes catalogs, dog-earing the pages. Spittle forms in the corners of my mouth. I create fantasies of how I would pull the outfit together; what jewelry I would wear; and where I would go with this stunning outfit. (That’s the best part. I have a rather active imagination!)
The outfits are bright. Almost trashy. There are no neutrals. The outside world is enough neutral for me.
I dream about tomato plants. Big and luscious bearing red fruit with juices that run down your chin and stain your clothes. Should I plant them earlier? Earlier tomatoes? It hasn’t worked yet but maybe this year. Maybe this time.
The idea stream is dry as a desert. No ideas! Not just blog ideas but what should I make for dinner? What should I wear? Did I clean out the litter box? Even Jeopardy seems harder. (The brain is hibernating.)
This calls for drastic measures. I need a solution! Now!
Socialization helps but I need more.
Therapy of the retail kind! Although not necessary, I bought rain boots. It will rain at some point in my lifetime and I have boots for that event!
I tried on colorful outfits; looked over the new spring clothes and had a Starbucks chaser. Nirvana!
There is a Victoria’s Secret in our local mall. I am not fond of this shop but I never knew why.
I am not comfortable in it. I prefer shopping in a department store or some other lingerie specialty store like Soma.
I figured it out. As I was perusing the bras, there was a youngish guy ruffling through the undies. Thongs to be exact. For a long time. Really long. Like so long you felt he had to be weird. (Were they for himself or a gift? For a woman or a man?)
There were four customers in the shop and I was the only woman. This is a woman’s underwear store! There was no way I was going to pull out a drawer of bras with all these dudes hanging around. I’m not saying they were at all interested in me but my girls prefer to shop by themselves.
This has happened before. Sometimes women bring their husbands who stand in the middle of the store and ogle at the scanty-clad mannequins (and other women) while they shop. Seriously?
The beloved husband wouldn’t cross the threshold preferring to sit on the outside benches. They need gender restricted areas. They don’t carry jock straps or foot itch spray! Get out of my store!
Despite all that, the therapy worked. I am in better spirits. I will need more sessions until spring truly breaks.
In the meantime I am making a list of things I really need like a citrus juicer and a new can opener. I’m such an exciting person! Just keep that panty dude away from me.
It really says something to me, Kate, when you are plain old tired of movies and reading and being indoors. I always fantasize that I’d find “snow days” an automatic vacation–not to make light of the major inconveniences, of course. But as an example we worked in the yard all weekend pulling weeds. I grumbled a bit thinking that it is “hard” to have a 12-month growing season. I’ll definitely stop grumbling about that. I really hope your spring comes soon, however, your retail therapy excursions sound very entertaining! 🙂
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I do get you because there is a time in the fall when I embrace the fact that I won’t have to water outdoor plants or pull weeks or mow or anything like that for a few months. Of course now I have no memory of that. I want to get my hands dirty and roll in the grass (gracefully of course and without deer poop).
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I need some shopping therapy too. Last time I shopped, everything was black or gray. Maybe by now they’ve brought out the colors. I bought a bra once at Victoria’s Secret. It’s still hiding in my drawer. It’s fine when I’m standing but dangerous when I bend over.
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I have a few of those bras! Slowly I am replacing with “full service” ones and getting rid of the old ones.
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I hear you loud and clear, I’m so tired or not being outside. As for Victoria Secret I couldn’t agree more….get out of our store, you’re weird!
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Hear, hear!
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I can so relate to this! One time at Christmas when Mom & Dad were visiting, Hubbs and Dad went to the mall – so hubbs could buy some frilly dilly nothings in VS. Dad sat patiently outside on a mall bench. We laugh about it now but I’d never been so mortified as to hear my quiet little Farmer Dad was within a mile of the place – Hubbs said he grinned the whole time. HA! (( I’ve since convinced him their stuff is way over-rated … and I buy my own frilly dilly nothings now ))
🙂 MJ
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Call me weird but I prefer to buy my own frilly dillies. Sometimes those things men pick up are so….uncomfortable.
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My son had a summer job at Vicktoria Secret He dubbed it the “Panty Palace”.
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He worked there? I hope he was unloading trucks or in the back room (no not that room!).
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No. He was a cashier. It’s great on his resume. Everybody wants to ask him about it!
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So he was handling the thongs…….
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Hopefully the girls washed them before wearing them.
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I have had the winter blahs too as I seem to need sunshine to make me active. A couple of days ago (dark, cold and rainy) I turned on all the lights and vacuumed, moped and dusted half the house. The next day I did the same with the rest of the house. Perhaps I should have just gone to the mall and visited Victoria’s Secret. Much more glamorous than cleaning! I don’t like panty dudes either – especially at my age! Good post.
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Cleaning the house never makes my blues go away! 🙂
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I hear ya — this time of year is when I long for spring and all its blossoms. Bring on the color! (I have to make do with gardening magazines for now, though.)
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Oh yes, seed catalogs! I fondle those too!
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Maybe they were in there for Valentines Day, but probably not. I know my wife would never let me go in there, she’d be afraid I would come out with something for her to wear. God knows what that could lead to!
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I got one of those gifts a long time ago (from an ex). It wasn’t pretty. Chocolates and wine are a much better gift. (Of course a lingerie gift isn’t for the woman anyway….)
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LOL…obviously you have had some experience with us male types.
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Have to confess…already bought several bright striped Tshirts – I always seem to need that brigh new tshirt fix right about now every year….managing to hold off on unpacking the Hawaiian shirts, but will wear those bright shirts – under sweatshirts if necessary.
Winter coma begone! Desperate for warm sun!
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Love the idea of Hawaiian shirts under sweats! Brilliant! Best of all worlds!
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When my wife goes into any of those stores, I head right to where I belong: The food court.
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The food court is the perfect place for men! Lots to sample!
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Ewww . . . creepy dude!!! Next time I see a Victoria’s Secret, I’ll be on the look out for perverts pawing the panties!
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Always wash them before you wear them. On second thought, they mostly paw the thongs and that’s not gonna happen in this house!
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“Sick of reading”…surely that can’t be, Kate. I’d like to take a month off from work and just read. Try sitting near a window, where the sun comes in, it might perk you up a bit.
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My reading issue is more about my eyes. They have been getting fatigued when I read so I can’t read for a long time. The doc says the transition lenses provide such a narrow band for reading that it fatigues the eyes and they are continually searching for it. Last summer I got bigger lenses which work better but his suggestion was to get standard bi-focals which provide a big reading area just for reading (and looking goofy at bars if that’s what you want to do.) Just haven’t gotten there yet but I am hopeful that will help. When I worked I would go on vacation and read 7 books. My friends found me boring. I would read on the beach, in the car, on the deck, anywhere. I haven’t done that in a long time.
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Maybe you can make the font bigger on your Kindle. I have the no-line bifocals. My eyes do get very dry from the computer and reading.
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When my eyes are bothering me a lot, larger fonts don’t really help. Right now I have two real books to read. Of course spending hours on the computer each day doesn’t help either. When people ask if you could change one thing about you, I always wish I had perfect eyesight. My eyes have never been great. Started wearing glasses at puberty. When I was younger I wanted better hair and to be taller but now I’d be happy with good eyes.
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You always have me laughing and nodding my head up and down. 🙂
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Good! Then I am not alone in my thinking!
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I’ve had the same lingerie shopping experience in [of all places] Kohl’s. I was the only woman and there were a few men looking around. I wondered about them, too.
As for the winter doldrums, I got ’em too. Nowhere to go, nothing interesting to do. Sick of the usual. I think I just defined February, didn’t I? How long until March?!
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There is a reason why February is a short month. If it were any longer there would be more deaths by boredom. And what’s with men and ladies’ underwear? I used to think they liked to get into them when women WORE them, not just laying on counters.
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