One dumbass cat | For animal lovers

Wild turkey under bird feeder

Wild turkey under bird feeder

I live next to a nature preserve that is home to all sorts of critters. Occasionally they visit me. There are wild turkey, deer, coyotes, groundhogs, raccoons and foxes. Some prefer to live in my yard like chipmunks, squirrels, frogs and birds.

Some of them get along swell. Some of them eat each other.

I have one cat that goes outside. He’s old and can’t see very well. He likes to mark his yard with urine and he needs to do it daily as other critters pee right on top of it. That really annoys him. It’s his job to keep the yard safe and it’s a lot of work.

Juvenile fox on the defensive

Juvenile fox on the defensive

Last week he was out there doing his thing when he spotted a rather small fox. It was a young juvenile. Being the friendly cat (not!) that he is, he took off after it.

Juvenile red fox runny away from crazy clapping man.

Juvenile red fox running away from crazy clapping man. Both fox photos taken by beloved husband through the safety of the porch screen.

Unfortunately mama fox was right behind him and papa fox behind her. He may have been bigger than the juvenile but he wasn’t bigger than the other two. Nor was he as agile or quick. He looked tasty to those foxes. As an old cat he may be tough but perhaps they have a slow cooker back in the den for a nice cat stew.

Foxes make a funny noise. You think they would sound like a dog with a bark. They don’t. They make a terrifying noise (to me at least) that signals Jake is in trouble.

I was just getting up but the beloved husband was downstairs pouring his first cup of coffee. He’s not the biggest nature person but he did what he thought would stop the pursuit of our dumbass cat Jake.

He went outside, clapped his hands and hollered. I was at the upstairs window and I saw the fox parents swing around to see who was making this weird noise.

In the meantime, the dumbass cat sauntered toward the screened porch where the beloved husband let him in. He was exhausted what with all the peeing and chasing so he crawled on a comfy chair and took a nap until breakfast. (That’s Jake, not the beloved husband).

And so ends another near catastrophe for the dumbass cat Jake!

Hey Cupcake! Are they gone? I wasn't really scared. Just didn't want to mess up the yard with fur.

Hey Cupcake! Are they gone? I wasn’t really scared. Just didn’t want to mess up the yard with fur.

41 thoughts on “One dumbass cat | For animal lovers

  1. Very funny. Loved… a slow cooker back in the den for a nice cat stew. Poor Jake…he reminds me of my Italian grandfather who, at picnics, would insist on lining up chairs to prove he could still jump over them. Of course he knocked them all down…I am so jealous you have an in-house zoo…I thought it was limited to frogs and fish…you never let on.


  2. For a minute there I thought the dumbass cat was your husband! Thanks for the clarification. 🙂
    Glad your husband saved the day and the cat. I will remember the clapping technique.


    • It worked at least for this go round. Had he been in their mouth, I’m sure it would have been too late and they would have run off with him. He’s a fighter though although he’s old and not so strong.


  3. Very scary!! That’s why I like my cats inside. Have to worry about Hiro out there all the time now. But I guess quality of life is more important than quantity…maybe.


    • So true. Jake’s outside time is supervised. He’s too old and set in his ways to keep him inside during the summer. During the winter he will often just go out to pee and come right back in. Too many things that eat cats out there. I know the worry though.


  4. Love your photo and story, Kate. I’m so glad that hubby helped Jake return home safely.

    Our grandpuppy went after an anole (small lizard) out on our lanai. The result was not pretty. Our granddaughter, who loves all animals, was very shook up.


  5. Listen cupcake, there’s no reason to call names. Jake isn’t a dumbass so much as, well, over-ambitious. We have lots of foxes out back and that’s one reason we are so scared of our cats getting out of the house. They would be goners. In fact, that sweet little chipmunk that had been visiting our house seems to have disappeared…and one of the foxes looks a little too content. It’s a fox eat rodent world out there.


  6. I’m flummoxed why Jake would willingly (or unwittingly) confront a fox family, but since he is intent on marking his territory, and claiming his domain, I suppose he begins from a place where his idea might be that he is the ruler of this land, and all others should be banished. Thank goodness for clapping hands husbands, and scurries towards open screen doors.

    I presently have a (stray?) black cat that keeps snoozing under the shed in the backyard to escape the 100 degree heat, which would be fine, if I didn’t have two cat-eating dogs that live here. Every day now I must make all sorts of noise before “letting loose the hounds” to give the kitty time to escape. I keep trying to explain that perhaps my backyard might not be the best choice, but she’s persistent. I only hope my own version of clapping hands keeps her from becoming extinct.


    • Could your dogs get under the shed? Sometimes critters just don’t make sense. As for Jake, I attribute his stupidity to his poor eyesight and cataracts. I doubt whether he saw the “family.” It wouldn’t surprise me if he thought it was a nice bunny with big legs.

      We don’t let him out early for this reason. The foxes come through around dawn for breakfast. Somehow I must have forgotten to lock the cat door.


      • I have the area under the shed blocked off with privacy lattice, so that they can’t get under the shed, but that doesn’t stop them from sniffing around and getting all worked up when they know the kitty is under there. I truly do not understand why she has chosen that spot, considering that my dogs are out there off and on all day and night long. My guess is that she’s figured out they can’t get to her, but still, you would think she wouldn’t be too keen on them sniffing around and gnashing their teeth in her direction. *shaking head*

        so far, no kitty to dog explosions … so far


  7. Ha, ha! Love that Jake…such a handsome specimen. Hey, he’s just staying out of the way while learning from your husband how to manage intruders! Now all Jake needs to do is learn how to clap…and make lots of noise at the same time. Thanks for a good smile…and such nice pictures!


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