Not now cupcake, I’m napping. You can nudge my business later.
In my last post I mentioned that my cat Jake was having this little problem. He is doing his “light” business “outside the box.” This only happens at night which is something that stumps even the vet.
He has always been somewhat avant-garde for a cat. I am having some difficulty convincing him that inside the box is better.
The first thing the vet asked for was a urine sample. Right. Do you give him a cup and ask him to pee in it? Not likely.
The vet tech suggested getting a non-porous litter so I can “harvest it” after the deed is done.
My cats don’t like alternative litter. They are not even into alternative rock. They are conservative cats. Cool cats, but conservative.
That leaves me with one choice. Yep, I have to stick a deli cup under his private parts midstream.
Sounds daunting doesn’t it? The hardest part is determining when he is going to go. He doesn’t exactly announce it.
Cats usually pee right after a nap so on the first day at 4 p.m. which is usually the end of the day time nap (gosh, I want to be a cat!) I woke him up and put him in the litter box. He looked at me with one eye, then scratched and proceeded to do his thing.
Boy cats don’t hunch down like girl cats. At least mine doesn’t. I stuck the deli cup under but I must have nudged his business which caused him to be unsteady and he kicked up litter in the cup rendering it totally useless. Oh yes, he also peed on my hand. Yuk!
Just in case they could salvage this attempt I called my vet tech.
Me: Hi, I just got a urine sample and I have a few questions. How much urine do I need?
Vet Tech: Well, a tablespoon will do.
Me: How about a half a teaspoon with some litter bits in it.
Vet Tech: (laughing hysterically – they always seem to do that when I call) No, that won’t work.
Me: Ok. Let me try again.
Now I have used up my daytime nap attempt. The only other time I know that he gets up is from his nighttime nap around 3:30 to 4 a.m. Yes, you heard me A.M.! I am sure he goes at other times but I just don’t know when.
At 4 a.m. I got up and went downstairs and yes, he had just gotten up. He was still bathing. I picked him up and we went to the litter box. He seemed to say to me, “We’ve done this before. Are you going to nudge my balls again or what?”
The urge to go overtook him and he did a beautiful stream. It was nice and strong. (No, I never thought I would be writing about a cat’s urine stream.) I got the deli cup underneath and I got a great sample. Nothing was bumped and nothing defiled my sample.
Of course, he peed on my hand again. I think it was deliberate this time. He does have a kinky side to him.
I cleaned up the cup and prepped it for the vet. Turns out he has a minor UTI and is now on antibiotics. No worries though. At this point I am an expert on pilling a cat. Click this to read about it.
Here’s hoping that this is the end of my story.
Views and Mews by Coffee Kat 
This was hilarious! I only hope I never have to catch my boy Junior’s urine. He does sit down in the litter box to pee, usually with his front legs outside the box 🙂
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Yes Jake always said his male nether regions were large and that’s why I bumped them! He was a cat and a half. Still miss him!
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Many years ago I took a neighbor’s cat to the Spay & Neuter Clinic. We had nicknamed him Mike after Mike Tyson because he was always getting into fights with other street cats. Obviously our neighbors never had him neutered so I took it upon myself to have it done (he was slowly becoming our responsibility anyway). Once his balls were snipped, he became the sweetest kitty that I’ve known. He became Mikey, after the little boy in the breakfast cereal commercial. His sacs were still huge though and I occasionally asked our vets to make sure he was properly neutered. Even though his personality had turned sweet, those were some cajones grandes for a neutered cat 😉
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Hysterical! I missed this before as it was before I started blogging. I’m still laughing! At least you didn’t have to chase him round the garden. AS for the peeing on your hand, yep, I’d take that as pay back!
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Jake was a special cat. The last years of a pet are always the ones with the medical issues. He was pretty good for most things but he doesn’t like being watched so a urine sample was a challenge. And that comes with payback.
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Cats always make anything as difficult as possible! I hope he’s better soon.
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He is better now.
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“He does have a kinky side to him.” Haha!
You are such a good cat owner, Jake is one lucky kitty!
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This is really humorous to read, Kate, but in truth, good for you. I am not sure everyone would have been as diligent to stay the course! 3:30 and 4:00 a.m. is way too early for me to be a good pet owner. 🙂
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The truth is that’s about the time for my nocturnal bathroom run.
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What we do for our pets….
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Oh the stuff we do for our pets!
MJ
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Oh such joy, something to look forward to when Maurice and Lucy get older.
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I’m glad there is a solution to Jake’s issue. I would hate to think that you went through all of that with no resolution.
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At this point we are still hoping this is a possible resolution. Not sure yet.
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Our fingers and tails are crossed for you and Jake.
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Oh Jake you are one lucky feline!
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He thinks I am one lucky owner! Damn cat!
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When the vet needed a CLEAN urine sample from Tigger, we didn’t have the same gung-ho stick-to-it-tive-ness as you.
So . . . they catheterized him.
While he YOWLED in protest.
Tell Jake that he LUCKED out in the owner department!
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That was the next choice. I gave myself 24 hours to get a sample. Jake is easier to handle than the others so I gave it a try knowing that the alternative wouldn’t make him happy.
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I loved my cats, but I do not think that I would have done what you did. You are one dedicated Cat Lady. I applaud your determination. Hope the meds help him– and he appreciates what you have done for him.
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Appreciate? We’re talking cats here.
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When Dolly got old she would pee around the box but not in it. I got disposable puppy pads and put them around the box. made us both happy. Hope Jake feels better soon.
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We are very familiar with puppy pads. It’s the only thing that has kept me sane.
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I’d probably come away with a mangled hand if I tried to collect a urine sample from our cats. Glad mine are outside cats, thought they have their quirks as well (which is in a post coming up after vacation).
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Jake likes his stomach rubbed which is odd for a cat. I think he hopes that you bump his business. Poor guy was fixed early and probably has unfulfilled dreams.
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Another laugh-out-loud post! Sorry you have to go through all this, but it keeps the rest of us entertained. Glad the vet was able to diagnose Jake. Plus I think my cats have been secretly reading your blog when I’m not around because Jack just said “not now cupcake, I’m napping.”
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Sometimes I think my cats read other blogs about cats too. I notice some strange behavior…..
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Glad you may have a cause and a solution. However, I’ve wet my pants from laughing.
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Did you have a deli cup?
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Sadly no 🙂
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