Visiting expiration dates!

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This post is from 2017. Things don’t change much, do they?

There are some interesting things about aging. Expiration dates are one of them. It’s not always a bad thing. We have an expiration date when we die but there are others that aren’t as extreme or final.

My butt has one. I can sit for 60, maybe 90 minutes max. No longer or the butt goes numb. You don’t want me to have a numb butt because it makes me cranky. The good part? I never hang around more than 90 minutes. Most things aren’t interesting after 90 minutes anyway.

My feet had one too and they have expired. I can no longer wear those trendy high heels. Boogers.

My car doesn’t have one. I keep most of my cars for eight to ten years. I am not a car person. All good. I can enjoy someone else’s purchase without having to learn new stuff.

Anyone who has read my blog for a while knows that my appliances have an expiration date. Sadly, they have a very short life. Much shorter than my mother’s appliances. Maybe ten years. Fifteen max. I had a costly refrigerator expire in six! Sometimes replacing an appliance (when they are ugly or inconvenient) is okay. Most times it’s like a new roof. I’d rather spend my money on something fun. And cheaper. Like shoes (that I can’t wear anyway).

I have the attention span of a flea. I’m not interested in gossip because what’s the point? Bad stuff happens to people and it seems wrong to rejoice that it’s not you. Ok, once in a while, there will be a juicy morsel that makes my head spin. But it has to be good. I’ve lived long enough that I don’t get surprised very often.

Patience has an expiration date. Sadly, I didn’t get much to start with and my patience expired in 1980.

My prescriptions have expiration dates. I swear I buy them one day and they expire a week later.  Cold medicines are like that. I don’t get another cold until the old medicine expires. Can time fly that fast? Seems like it was just 2007.

Conversation definitely has an expiration. Have you ever talked to someone for what seemed like hours but was really 15 minutes? Yeah, me too. Do the duck and bob routine. Duck out and go to the potty or bar (whatever is appropriate). Or sneak out the back and run like hell to your car! Works every time.

Do you have any things to add that have expiration dates?

42 thoughts on “Visiting expiration dates!”

  4. This was a fun post and so true about expiration dates. I tend to hang onto things as long as I can. Over the Winter, my Maytag washer had an issue and when I called the repair guy in, I was happy it was just a tiny part for the lid and that the part was still available – whew! The washer and dryer are from 1992 I believe and the repairman said this was the washer/dryer used in the old Maytag commercials when they are bored as nothing ever breaks. He said the new appliances, even the good ones, have a life span of five years, if you’re lucky.

    My car will be 17 years old in September and it only has 14,800 miles on it. I don’t want a new car either … I don’t want a new techy anything because my hair dryer broke over the Winter. I’ve had it for at least 20 years, probably longer. I got another Conair, what I thought was similar, but the instructions to use it I had to read over multiple times. A test button, reset button and six controls … my old hair dryer was off/on and hi/lo. Really?

    I have a bugaboo about expired food, especially refrigerated food. I don’t trust eating it if it’s beyond a day after the expiration date. Once we had a power outage, maybe 12 years ago or so – we’d had no power for about 15 hours and when it came on, she called me and said “did you get your internet back – if not I’ll give you my wireless password.” I was working from home at the time, said I was good and thanked her. She said “my potato salad still tasted good, even though we had no power, I wasn’t going to waste it.” I was sure she’d get sick … me, I would have tossed it. I worry about my life too much (I say that after we got a tornado warning today, five minutes before it was to cross into our city … a sudden rotation which was very scary) … we had severe weather most of today and will for the next two days. There will be an early expiration of my mental well-being if this erratic weather continues.

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      • I researched them beforehand, as I get these Consumer Reports e-mails which make you think you have to read the fine print on everything you buy, eat or drink or you’ll be sorry. This model has some safety features and, after seeing pictures of hair dryers on fire at the outlet I got this one. I need to have an electrician in because most of my outlets are recessed and were fine for the old plugs, but I have to use a plug extender for everything now and they still fall out of the outlet all the time.

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    • We had a $$$ Dyson cordless (that we love). After about 8 years it needed a part. I felt that was a great run. We were able to get it repaired. Works great now. My bad luck is with refrigerators!

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  8. I probably don’t realize about expiration dates that I have except for food. I drive SSNS crazy with checking expiration dates. He will prepare hamburger if it’s brown. Nope, I won’t eat it. I definitely watch the expiration dates on any food in the store. They just don’t seem to watch that. I have an expiration date for TV and it is short… maybe 30 minutes. I can only take so much visiting. I agree with Pam about neighbors. I think you covered the others that are similar. Oh, patience! I hardly have any. Never have.

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  9. My MIL was taken into hospital so Hubby and I went down. This would have been around 2012 as we were in the cottage which we sold in 2014. We cleaned her house, changed and washed the bedding and slept on the floor, then sorted out her cupboards and freezer. We found veg with a best before date of 1998, so dumped everything out of date and replaced it. We found a dead mouse in a box of cereal so dumped everything open and replaced those too.

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  12. Hahaha. Love this, Kate. Yeah, the older I get the shorter the expiration dates in all categories seem. Especially patience and appliances. One refrigerator salesperson told me most have a shelf life of between 7-9 years. And with so many bells and whistles like wifi, etc. who can afford $3,000+ bucks for an average brand that happens to prepare a shopping list through AI.

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    • Your appliance person was right. I like bells and whistles but not on my fridge. Maybe a drawer or two but I don’t need wifi. For my car, however, I love the safety features that they put in now. That’s helpful!

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  13. Hmm…..well……some neighbors have an expiration date…..you know the ones – they’re nice and chummy and interested until they’re NOT. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Sometimes neighbors are so chummy they’re intrusive and there’s a fine line there somewhere. Anyway, you covered all the other expiration date stuff that I could think of. In the end we all have expiration dates I guess but I don’t want to know what mine is – – when it’s my time I just want to go out in a flash of glitter and fairy dust and…….oh never mind….that would make such a mess !!!! Happy Tuesday.

    Hugs, Pam

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    • Were you peeping in mine? I used barbeque sauce last night that expired last year. That’s not so bad but I have another bottle from the same shopping trip in the basement and it’s not even opened yet! I don’t buy that stuff are warehouse stores but it was for my last big reunion. It was a three pack!

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      • Now, I’m not naming names, but I helped clean out someone’s fridge and pantry this weekend and tossed a teeming multitude of expired salad dressings, sauces, pestos, mustards, etc. 😀

        We kept some items with dates within the past 12 months if they looked & smelled OK, but tossed about 20 suspect items that I was afraid to even open. 😀

        I loved Pensivity 101’s comment. 😀

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        • Before one picnic I pulled out my ketchup and found it had expired about a year before. You can use rubbing alcohol to take off the date in case anyone is looking. I served it. (It was ketchup!) Then I tossed and bought fresh stuff.

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