Another golden oldie — Trying new things!

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This is another post from 2014 for my throw back Tuesday. It was a different set of friends but the same feelings! Some things have changed. The pandemic shut down my gym but I found Fitbit and became a dedicated walker. I stay away from joining organizations. I play mahjong instead of bridge (or animal rummy!) and that’s because of a friend. I don’t drink as many margaritas so I can’t blame that! It’s 12 years later. We may adapt but at the core, we are who we are.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAEarlier this week a friend and I were discussing things that we agree to do that we don’t want to do. We do that for many reasons.

Sometimes, (most times) it’s because a friend wants to do something and doesn’t want to do it alone.

Sometimes you think it will lead you somewhere else that you want to be or maybe give you work gigs. (They rarely do either.)

Sometimes you have no freaking idea why you agreed to do it so let’s blame that one on the margaritas.

The irony of this conversation was that I was accompanying her on a blueberry picking trip. Truly, I don’t need to pick blueberries. The beloved husband does not like them and I can be satisfied with a pint or two from the store or farmers’ market.

I agreed to pick blueberries because I enjoy her. It’s quite a drive and it’s nice to have company.

That got me thinking of all the things I have agreed to do that I normally wouldn’t do. Some turned out well and some….well…they give me stories to tell.

I am exercising at the gym because I was coerced into trying it ten years ago. I really didn’t want to do it (I hate exercise) but I agreed to a three-month trial for a friend. The rest is history. (This one was good!)

When I lived in New Jersey, one of my friends badgered (yes, badgered) me into joining a bridge club. I am not the bridge type. I am the animal rummy type. Maybe even Go Fish. Yes I did it and loved it. I got very competitive too. (This one was good!)

When I lived in Delaware, my neighbor asked me to join a garden club. I love gardening. Maybe I’d learn something and meet people with similar interests. I brought the average age down to 70 (I was about 40 at the time.) and this club did the maintenance for several historical sites. Translation – they needed me as slave labor to pull weeds. The only thing I learned was to be sure to wash off afterward so the poison ivy wouldn’t be too bad. (Not so good!)

I once chaperoned a bunch of kids on a church camping trip. That was wrong on so many levels. My friends can’t picture me doing either of those activities let alone both on one trip. In a way, I enjoyed the weekend but never did it again. I realized just how much I hate camping…all those bugs and stuff. If it doesn’t say Hilton, I’m not going. (or at least Motel 6!)

Over the years I have become more selective on what I will agree to – shopping, eating, fun or drinking – YES, YES, YES!

Anything that’s work — mostly no or if I really care about the person — maybe. Anything with bugs, cold, or that’s really dirty – absolutely not!

That won’t stop me from agreeing to do something bizarre and afterward asking myself, “Why did you do that?” Hey, if you don’t try things, you don’t know.

38 thoughts on “Another golden oldie — Trying new things!”

  2. Some adventures I was pressured into I am so glad I did! Trips to Europe, kayaking and camping, and even American mahjong. And other things? Well, the good thing about being a writer is that the worst experiences make the best stories.

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    • That is all so true. I went to Brazil at the coaxing of a friend and loved it. I was a volleyball ref (wasn’t particularly good at playing myself) and that was a blast. I was always attracted to adventurous people and it did me good. Some things did not work out like book club and a garden group but you should try. Now I say no to things I know I don’t like to do.

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  3. It’s been a while since I did something because a friend asked me to, to be honest. All but one of my high school friends are scattered to the wind years ago, either for their own career, or that of their husband. I’ve caught up with them after joining Facebook thanks to putting in your home city/high school and algorithms.

    As to joining a health club with friends, I did that once in the early 80s. We had a franchise of gyms (no swimming pool though) called Elaine Powers. I was not overweight in the least (thanks to my height of 5′ 9″) and fairly active, but two coworkers from the area who were a bit chubby, asked me to join with them and go three times a week. We arranged to meet at 6:30 and go for dinner afterward. Both girls’ husbands were taking classes at local colleges, so I think they were bored. They drove to/from work. I took the bus, got home and dinner was almost ready. I didn’t want to hurt my mom’s feelings and besides walking in the door to a wonderful-smelling dinner and not sit down and have some – no way! Yes I did, then went to the club and then after that, at 8:00 we went for dinner. Two big dinners in one night and eating later than I normally would. Of course, they were hungry and wanted a full meal. I thought it was rude if I just had an order of fries or dessert, so I ate another meal. It’s a wonder I didn’t gain weight, but yes, I jollied along because that’s what friends do.

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    • Wow! I don’t think I would have eaten two meals. I would have given my mother the day off of cooking or had dessert afterward. The irony is that you were exercising to lose weight (although you really weren’t) but you were consuming more calories! I did some fun things because I was prodded by a friend. I took up racquetball and painting because through a friend. Loved both. She also tried to convert me to her religion but that didn’t work. Another friend got me into a bowling league for a couple years. That was fun too.

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      • Well, at that time my father was still here and my mother was old-fashioned in her belief that a hot meal had to be on the table every night, seven days a week. But, after my father left, I said “we can have some wiggle room you know Mom” – she agreed after a while. It took me years to break her of the habit of having no dishes in the sink before going to bed. Even a coffee cup or one plate had to be washed and put away. We never had a dishwasher (except us).

        Yes, eating twice probably wouldn’t be a good idea now, but I would have been in my 20s, so I burned it off, quickly but still … what you do for friends. I am Catholic, as were my parents, but my father said Sunday was the only day to sleep in and my mother didn’t drive, so Mom would ask my friends’ parents if I could go to Sunday School with them and that was until I was about 12. I’ve been to Baptist, Presbyterian, Lutheran church/Sunday School but only once to Midnight Mass services with my grandmother a few years before she passed away.

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  8. My dad always gave me that line with food. “If you don’t try it you won’t know if you like it.” I do try most foods now, unless it’s like eyeballs or any other kind of balls. 😛

    Camping. 😬I need plumbing.

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  10. I joined the gym here b/c we got a free membership for a year with the apartment lease. I used it for the year, enjoyed it OK, but now I’m back to exercising on my own ~ walking, biking, dancing, laughing, eating, bending, stretching, drinking, etc. 😀

    I played Bridge from 2016 – 2024 when we moved. Here, I’ve played a time or two, but the location and time didn’t work for me. I haven’t missed playing regularly, but will probably play in the future if the right opportunity (and the right group) presents itself.

    I loved camping . . . in a camper, with an on board bathroom, and stove, and microwave, and sink. We sold the camper 2 moves ago and haven’t been tempted to get another one.

    I miss having a vegetable garden. I never had a huge one, just big enough for tomatoes, peppers, zucchini, basil, mint, and one experimental crop each year. Since moving to Florida, we haven’t had enough of a southern exposure for growing tomatoes. We had a lemon tree, and basil, and grew a pineapple once. Here, I just have one pot on the balcony ~ spinach, dill, lettuce, but not enough sun for tomatoes. Alas!

    Anyway, I agree with the point of the post, Kate. Try it. If you like it, great. If not, cross it off the list and try something else. Life is short. Have as much fun as you can!

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  11. Yes, to this post for doing things we/I don’t want to do! Somewhere between Covid and the current turbulence in the world I decided if it doesn’t give me joy, it’s a big nope. Life’s just too short and I am too old, but old enough, to say no without feeling terrible. I like your selection on being selective up there in the 12th paragraph which is… shopping (just getting back in the swing of that) eating, fun or drinking (wine for me at wine time).

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    • I don’t do near as much shopping as I used to. Covid helped a lot with learning to say no without guilt. Once in a while I’ll do something for a friend that I wouldn’t (or don’t want to) do but not near as frequently.

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  12. Love this and it pretty much echoes my own feelings about everything (except exercising in a gym). After my long-ago divorce my Dad tried to cheer me up with a membership in a local gym. I knew I’d hate it but anything for OLD DAD. I always stayed in the back row – I’ve never been a front row kind of gal. Anyway, the only thing in the gym I really enjoyed was the hot tub. Cards – yes – was hooked along with lots of friends when I lived in FL on a German card game called Mau Mau. Nowadays I’ve managed to get to a 99% “thanks for inviting me to join you but no thanks” place when people invite me to do stuff (other than hubby of course!). Life moves along……at MY pace now.

    Hugs, Pam

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    • Yep, live and learn. Wish I would have been more like this when I was younger but I did get experience and know better what I don’t like. I’ve also gotten better at politely declining to continue what doesn’t work.

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  13. Love this and it pretty much echoes my own feelings about everything (except exercising in a gym). After my long-ago divorce my Dad tried to cheer me up with a membership in a local gym. I knew I’d hate it but anything for OLD DAD. I always stayed in the back row – I’ve never been a front row kind of gal. Anyway, the only thing in the gym I really enjoyed was the hot tub. Cards – yes – was hooked along with lots of friends when I lived in FL on a German card game called Mau Mau. Nowadays I’ve managed to get to a 99% “thanks for inviting me to join you but no thanks” place when people invite me to do stuff (other than hubby of course!). Life moves along……at MY pace now.

    Hugs, Pam

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