In our state we are required to wear face masks when we are out and about. I’ve already complained about not being able to hear. I’ve been working on a new skill. Eye reading. The problem is that there aren’t a lot of things you can do with eyes that give a message without the entire face involved.
You can roll them all the way up and stagger backward to signify being overwhelmed. Or maybe stunned. Or shocked. Or maybe you are having a heart attack and everyone is reading it all wrong. By the way if you fall down, no one will want to touch you to help you up.
You can furrow your brow. That assumes you can furrow your brow. Some people get injections so they can’t furrow and some people have furrows so deep normally that you can’t tell if they are giving you a deeper furrow.
Dancing eyebrows are good too. Arching way up there but what does it mean? Happy to see you? You’ve got to be kidding me? I have to go to the bathroom now! Your guess is as good as mine.
Speaking of bathrooms. I have IBS so I always need to know exactly where they are and how many seconds it takes to get there. Many places have closed their bathrooms. I’m starting to take inventory of bushes. Are they big enough to hide the goods? Too flimsy so you can see through them? Is there a bee hive in the middle? (Never pee or anything else on a bee hive. It annoys them.) A good sized grave stone will work too as long as there is nothing but forest on the other side. Be careful of people with cell phones. They are very sick people.
I will never call this period of time the good old days.