Oh vanity!

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My Dad (young). Notice the narrow face.

When I found pictures of my father’s parents at a young age, I saw physical characteristics that I inherited. I’m very grateful for the slim build and full hair but I could have done without the refugee look.

My SIL two days after the accident. (Age 89)

We have narrow faces and after 40 we don’t photograph well. It’s not just me. When my brother and sister-in-law were in the car accident, although my brother was in much better shape he photographed like a cadaver. My SIL, on the other hand, sustained major trauma and looked like a tired beauty queen. (I treasure my life too much to include my brother’s picture here.)

I’ve noticed it at reunions too. Throw in a tad of resting bitch face too. You can easily pick us out! That translates into bad selfies. (Maybe it’s my cell phone. Maybe I need a fancier phone that does makeovers!)

Several years ago, I tried to take a shot of myself for my blog. I gave up with my phone and used my camera instead. It only took 200 shots to get one that wasn’t super offensive (and didn’t alert the Frankenstein patrol). There is the angle, chin pitch, lighting and a bunch of other things that have to be right. When that all works, my eyes are closed! Argh!

All that was a preamble (or a rant). Last week I bought new glasses. I’m fussy about glasses. They have to be lightweight (my nose gets cranky) and smaller sized. Many of the adult frames are too wide for my face. That narrows my selection considerably.

My last pair were frame-less which hides a lot of sins. I wanted to get a pair with a partial rim but narrow. Oh yes, I also wanted a pop of color – like burgundy or purple. I may have been looking for a unicorn.

I narrowed it down to three pair from two different stores. I really needed another opinion. I decided to take selfies at the stores to show the beloved husband. Even though I purposefully cut off my chin, I had a concentration camp look. I made the decision on my own.

When I explained the whole dilemma to the beloved husband, he looked at the selfies. He is still laughing. He assured me I don’t look anything like that in person. Yes, I believe him. God bless that man!

74 thoughts on “Oh vanity!”

  2. Right there with you on the selfies! And shopping for glasses is always horrible. You’re trying to make this decision about something that’s going to be part of your face for the next year or two – while you are blind! Never fun.

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  4. You’ve surely made me laugh. I have no success with selfies. I think it’s all about the angles. I also think we tend to be a lot more critical of ourselves than we are of other people, but if the beloved husband found yours hilarious, there must be something to your observation. Tell others to take your photos when you aren’t paying attention. Candid shots might be better???

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  6. I don’t do selfies. I have never had a good picture of me. Even family are kind enough to leave me out of pictures destined for FB and Insta… they know. I have a new prescription for lenses. I like the idea of rimless that you are talking about. I have a new pair of frames, I think I will have them put the lenses in the new frames and call it done.

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    • If I had a pair of frames that I truly loved, I would do that. I love my rimless but even they are a little wide. You don’t notice it because there is no rim. We have some in the family who scoot to the back row when we do reunion pictures. That works.

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  7. … and all the commentary here is why I’m glad that I no longer need glasses … well except for the annoying readers which makes it easier for me to read. I don’t miss the pressure on the nose and behind the ears (even ‘lightweight’ glasses), the endless smudges on the lenses, even trying to find the damn things when I need them. Now I have cheap readers scattered everywhere in the house. Now my biggest problem is Husband who picks them up and takes them into his office, thinking they are his.

    As for selfies, I’ve decided that my arms are too short 😉 … I now leave it to others, which might explain why I have so few photos of me. Quite frankly I’m ok with that 🙂

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    • You have a nice full face shot you use for your blog. I’d love to have one like that! Glasses! Ack! I wore contact lenses for 35 years. Eventually dry eye make it more uncomfortable. I had correction surgery but I wear glasses for slight astigmatism and the reading prescription. The top is almost clear. I hate the readers. On and off. I stopped using them when I bought something that was $81 and I thought it was $18!

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  8. P.S. – I wore contacts for 35 years and when I started working from home, I decided I’d just start wearing my glasses which I only wore on the weekends or at night (I wore hard contact lenses). I have to have very lightweight glasses too – can’t stand when they jam into your nose or slice into your ear if they are sitting wrong. Before I got contact lenses, I once got metal poisoning from my gold-toned wire frame glasses cutting into my ear and the metal frames touched the cut. I was working Summers at the diner and had to wear my hair tied back so the hair tied back made the glasses sit awkwardly.

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      • I have dry eye now too, too many hours at the computer, so I use the Genteal gel, but it messes up my eyes for about an hour til the film clears so I really don’t use it as much as I should. I got the wire-rimmed glasses my senior year and was wearing them at a football game. We won and someone threw their arm in the air and hit my glasses. Went to the optician and they straightened them out, but still sat a little crooked. Having my hair pulled back and resting on it caused it – I had spots all over and thought I had the measles!

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  9. Anne Mehrling showed how she did a selfie of her and John one time using a digital compact camera at arm’s length away, which she used in a blog post, so I thought I’d try it. I was shocked how bad the picture looked. I was leaning backward and looked like I just needed a white horizontal cardboard with numbers on it and prison garb. The last time I got my driver’s license, I saw the image after she snapped the camera and groaned. She asked if I wanted another one taken and I said it was not user error on her part, but the subject she was taking. 🙂

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      • That’s good to know for next time – I last went in 2018 and have to go again in 2022. I don’t know if it is because I am older or because I did not do well on the. My green card photo is beyond awful and in B&W on top of it.

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          • I”ll blame it on the equipment then. For my green card, it is taken at a funny angle (on purpose) and is in black-and-white. I look horrible in it. No wonder it took me 9 months to get approved and had to return for new fingerprints (I don’t have fingerprints, as they’re worn off from typing so many years) and I had to go to the police station to verify I’ve never been in trouble with the law.

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  10. Thin face: check. Scary selfies:check. I feel your pain. I’ve also wanted to update my blog picture, but I haven’t had a picture taken of me yet that I have found acceptable. I’m not sure if I’m just in denial (and, yes, I really do look that bad) or if I just haven’t found the right combination of lighting, angle, and smile. Anyway, I will continue to struggle. I did recently buy new glasses that I like, though. Narrow frame, kind of purpley. They do exist!

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    • Narrow purple? Score! My best selfies are taken with my camera which is much more difficult because half of the time I can’t see what I’m taking. I keep wanting to get a professional picture taken. Maybe sometime.

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  11. Boy, I’m with you on this one. I take terrible pictures. It’s why the one on my profile is of me hiding behind a rock! Ha. I’m also with you on the new glasses. They sound exactly like what I wanted to look for in my next pair. Especially the purple part. Hope you found a pair you love.

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  12. I have the same struggles when it comes to finding the right glasses, Kate. Some of the most flattering glasses I’ve found have been the 3 for 9.99 at TJ Maxx or Marshalls, but I can’t drive wearing those since they aren’t bifocals.

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    • You also have to be careful of upselling. You start out with a pair and before you know it they add on all sorts of stuff. For sunglasses I bought a pair with a bifocal from LL Bean. The top was clear and the bottom came in different strengths you could chose. They were very nice and $80. Much less than any at the eye stores.

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      • You’re not kidding. Fortunately, my job provides excellent vision coverage. They’ll cover up to $300 for just the glasses…I was very surprised. I’ll have to keep LL Bean in mind if I ever retire before I’m in the grave!

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  13. I feel your pain – narrow face and all. Plus, a big nose and a thin face is not a good combo for selfies, so I hate having my picture taking for that reason. But one of my relatives, who is not so good looking in real life but is very photogenic, always takes great shots. Being photogenic is a gift which explains why some models who look ordinary in real life can photograph so beautifully. Conversely, a friends daughter was stunning in real life but it didn’t translate to her portfolio pictures, so her modeling career went no where.

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      • I forgot to mention that last month, after visiting the optometrist and receiving a new prescription which he said I could fill if I wanted to bump up a step but it was optional, I could not find any glasses I liked, so I just didn’t fill it. Everything comfortable looked awful, and vice versa, so I just left – The ones I liked were too big for my thin face, as frames have gotten big again….sigh..

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        • They have gotten bigger. That’s ok for sunglasses but not sure I want for everyday. Last year I didn’t change my glasses. My prescription this year was the same as last year (but different from the ones I have in my glasses now). They usually say if you can see well enough you don’t need to change.

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  14. I look awful in photos! My ID photo looks like I am an ugly little old alien. Fortunately I am old so I never have to show my ID to anyone. I look most like my mother but she was smaller than I am. I was always a skinny mini until a few years ago. Now I am…shall we say plump?

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    • The absolute worst picture I ever had was the one for BJ’s Warehouse stores. OMG! Refugee camp for sure. My driver’s license isn’t too bad. It’s looks like me but not ugly. I think they upgraded their cameras.

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  15. I can relate, I hate having my picture taken. No, that’s not right. I hate seeing the pictures. 😊 Oh the dreaded selfie’s where you can’t find a happy medium between looking like it’s a mug shot or you have that goofy artificial smile. I always blame my double chin on having too short of arms. Need one of those sticks I think.

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  16. If you find a phone that does makeovers, please let me know the model. I take horrid photos and prefer to be the official photographer at family outings. When my son was an optician, I stocked up on frames (he calls me the Imelda Marcos of eyewear) and knew what would look good. If Elsa chews any more frames, I’ll have to go to Hawaii where he lives to get advice on a replacement. 👓

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    • You are lucky. I don’t trust the opticians (all male) to give me feedback on how I look and I need the glasses for close up so I can’t see myself clearly in the frames. They are so expensive that I hate making a wrong decision because I have to live with it for at least a year.

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  17. I have a narrow bridge and so styles are restricted. I also don’t like the ‘nose clips’ variety as they tend to pinch and eventually turn green, so a full plastic mold suits me best. I’m happy with my new ones.

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    • Just as I wouldn’t post my brother’s cadaver picture, I’m not posting THOSE selfies. Maybe if I can get one outside (always better) after I get the glasses, I’ll share.

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  19. My arm isn’t long enough for a flattering selfie! And the light isn’t dim enough. Must have dark background or the face and white hair disappear. Gave up on selfies but I’ll bet you look great in your new glasses. And…your Dad was of movie star quality..sooo handsome.

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    • He was very handsome. He died at 55 and even then he didn’t have much gray hair; he was slim and attractive. It was a shock because he looked so healthy. The picture you use for your blog is very nice.

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  20. I’m all about rimless eyeglasses having found them years ago. Comfortable and don’t hide your eyes in photos. If’n that’s the sort of thing you want to do. I don’t take selfies, but if I did…

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  21. I don’t take great photographs, either, but for the opposite reason–my face is too round! I have to be so skinny you can count my ribs for my face to look normal, and then, like you, I have to get the angle just right.

    Meanwhile, my sisters and their narrow faces always looked great on film. Now that we are getting older, though, I look younger because I am not as skinny as they are and the extra fat plumps out facial wrinkles.

    #FatFTW!

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    • 🙂 My mom (I should have posted her picture) had a round face. When I was a child I looked a lot more like her. Maybe all kids have round faces but mine sure changed. If you lose weight after 50, you get a lot of face wrinkles. Skin doesn’t snap back.

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  23. Getting new glasses is tough. I tend to gravitate towards the impossibly expensive ones and wind up with some of the least expensive to save a pile of $$. I want functional with a splash of style – is that asking too much? I think you’d say NO! My latest pair have a combo of thin framed top and NO bottom frame. Price-wise they were in between “insane” and “el cheapo”. I love them. I have VERY few photos of ancestors – but I do know I always looked a LOT like my Dad (including his hairline!) but now that I’m a lot older I look like my Mom. Even with the bad hairline I would have preferred continuing to look like my Dad!

    Hugs, Pam

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    • My new specs have a rim on top but the bottom is rimless. Fingers crossed. I pick them up in a week or so. I have found Costco to be the least expensive but I didn’t fall in love with any frames and they don’t do rimless at all. I ended up in the middle too although with my insurance I got a good break. I have mostly been a blend of both parents but as I’m getting older I’m leaning more towards my dad’s side. I can see features of both of his parents in me. I don’t look like my mom’s side but my oldest brother was a dead ringer for her brother.

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  24. We are our own worst critics. The camera loves some people and others…well, not so much. I fall into a middling category I think – I still occasionally have some good days or some good angles, photographically speaking. But more and more my grandmother’s face keeps showing up in my photos 🤣

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  25. I always buy the wrong glasses … they look good in the store but at home I dislike it… and I can not ask mark… not after he said: this pants are good you look not even fat in it… wha-what?

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    • There is a difference between how they look in the store and how they look at home. It’s like you are entering a wormhole to a different dimension! The mama never looks fat in pants. Not even the pink ones!

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