Over the past six weeks or so, I’ve been helping my brother and his wife recover from a bad auto accident. There have been many “aha moments” along the way. Some predictable and some were a surprise.
The more time I spend with my brother, the more I realized we are alike. As I was chauffeuring him around today. He was telling me where to turn even though I’ve lived here for most of my life. I knew where I was going and I knew how to get there. It’s a lot like what I do to the beloved husband. Must be in the genes.
Total recall – I forget stuff all the time. I can walk into another room to retrieve something and forget what it was that I needed. (Yes, I realize a doorway reboots your brain and deletes all your information.) In this situation I have an almost eidetic memory. I can see my brother’s grocery list for a few seconds and each item is etched on my brain. That’s good because I can guarantee you that he will leave his list on the kitchen table. That runs in the family too – forgetting the list, not the eidetic memory. I wish I could nourish this new trait so that it works for my lists.
There is something to comfort food. Carbs are my comfort food. They make me feel loved and safe (as much as any food can). Over the past weeks I have repeated some meals several times because I crave the comfort. (I love you mashed potatoes. Where are you pizza? Please let’s have pasta again!) Or maybe I have an addiction to carbs. (You’ll never hear me say “pass the kale.”) Mocha lattes too. Better than Valium.
If the person is important to you, whatever you do to help out is not work or a bother. It’s a gift to spend more time together. It’s also an opportunity to learn more about yourself. You cherish it because it will end. You hope in a good way.
Happy hump day.
I just used your link to the car accident post – which I had missed during my blog break. To be honest, I am somewhat glad that I already knew your brother and SIL are on the mend. Sorry you all had to go through that. As for the driving thing, my husband does that a lot too. I just say “Thank you” and leave the interpretation to him.
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Door rebooting brain – Note to self: need more doorways HAHA (Actually there is something weird about human brains and doors – research confirms brains read passing through triggers something – but like most research, not sure what or why…hey if it works, why mess with it HAHA)
Late to the blogging update party, but so glad they are recovering
Kale. There was that recall recently that it was one of the most “dirty” foods carrying bacteria, dirt, and mandating extreme cleaning/caution. HA! That that kale…pass the pizza
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Pizza has never been recalled! 🙂 All that other green stuff has. I’d like to get some research money to do my own investigations! Like the benefits of chocolate when your cats are crazy. Normal things like that.
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Pingback: Why NOT To Be Gluten Free | Spirit Lights The Way
We’re on the same page with carbs!
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Yay carbs!
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Carbs. Yeah, love ’em. As in the vernacular of Yoda, addicted I am.
I love the last paragraph you wrote. ❤
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I haven’t spent this much time with my brother since our last beach vacation a few years back. He is an amazing person.
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It’s nice that you guys are getting to spend more time together right now, even though it’s not for a happy reason. You are right about it not being work to help out a loved one. Also, right there with you on the comfort carbs!
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Yes indeed. Please pass the pizza.
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I don’t think my brother and I are alike, but I don’t want to find out the way you did. I hope they have made great strides in their recoveries.
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They are coming along, one more than the other.
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Hope the brother and SIL are improving with each passing week. Memory issues notwithstanding. Carbs are the nirvana of the good pyramid in my mind. Give me a good piece of bread and I’m in heaven.
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Good bread is great. If it’s warm, I don’t need butter.
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If it’s warm, butter makes it that much better. 🍞
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There is that. I wouldn’t pass it by if it wasn’t any trouble.
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I hope the recovery is going well. An unexpected blessing to get so much time with your brother.
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Yes, always a silver lining.
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Food can be such a comfort . . . and carbs tops the list for me too.
Being a vegetarian = easy peasy.
Being gluten free = a constant challenge and a sometimes sacrifice.
Reading this post makes me want to have grilled cheese sandwich on Toscano Pano for lunch followed up with pizza for dinner.
Instead of “slim and trim,” maybe I should aim for “fat and sassy”? 😛
It’s nice that you’ve been able to spend time “bonding” with your big brother!
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I have sympathy for gluten free folks as I couldn’t do it unless my health truly depended on it. I have IBS so there are foods I can’t eat but fortunately they are not carbs.
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I am re-thinking my options. Life is short . . . seize the day (and the pizza!).
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You go girl!
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Ha! This is the first time I’m hearing about doorways rebooting our brains and deleting the memory banks. It explains so much!!
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There is no other explanation for it. It happens to everyone. There is something about a doorway.
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I have even updated a doorway, but it just gets more complicated! 🙂
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yes.. if the person is important it is no effort it is spending time together… I have this total recall problem too… is it possible that one person can have so much senior moments during only one day? or am I a miracle?
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We are miracles!
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I have been thinking a lot lately about relationships and nurturing them. I have lost several friends in the last 6 months, and that has me really evaluating what matters. And comfort food is important to keeping a good balance in times of stress. I think it’s almost biblical! 🙂
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Biblical. Perfect description. There is a sense of calm that comes over me when I eat it and I don’t overeat when I’m stressed. In fact, I eat less but I focus on soft.
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I see my sister often enough that I’m more aware of our differences. Then, every so often we remember ways in which we’re alike–I guess mainly in the childhood we shared and in some of the things we care about: nature, art, and fashion.
Sweets are my weakness, especially in the afternoon when I crave cookies, cake, or a slice of pie.
Since my mom died, I miss being able to do things for her–taking her to the doctor or out for lunch.
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I miss my alone time with my mom too. Sometimes it was doctor appointments but sometimes it was fun stuff like shopping or eating out. My brother and I have totally different personalities so it’s always a surprise when I find a behavior trait we both share. It’s usually an annoying one too but not always.
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So many truths in this post! I will never say pass the kale either and I start each day with 2 lattes, Nespresso, made with soy (not mocha however – chocolate is not my thang). And yes, when a person is important to me I will do whatever I can to help and it is never a bother.
Thanks Kate!
Deb
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Wait – what’s that about chocolate? Not your thing? How have we become friends without me knowing this?!!
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It’s the awful truth, Joanne! Chocolate desserts are my least favourite. Especially cake and ice cream of chocolate origins! I do hope we can still be friends 😜😉.
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hehehe! This is where I expose my deep, dark secret. As much as I LOVE chocolate, I don’t particularly care for it in ice cream form 😉
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Touching on the chocolate discussion, I like and find it soothing but I don’t eat chocolate ice cream or those heavy mousse desserts. Cake, pudding, pie — yum!
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I find I only like desserts including chocolate where chocolate is an accent, as opposed to the main event. Like chocolate-dipped strawberries or cones from Dairy Queen. I’ve never thought of chocolate as “soothing”, but that is probably a very good description and nails its appeal, Kate!
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Chocolate-dipped cones from DQ? I have to try them out. Oddly I rarely eat chocolate candy. Too sweet for me.
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My brother and I are alike too…look alike, walk alike, and have many of the same maladies. Strange but true.
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We don’t exactly look alike. He looks like my dad and although I favor my dad’s side, people can see my mom in me too. I’m type A (like mom) and he’s type B (like dad) personality with way more patience than I have. We both have a deep love of family and like to be active. This back seat driving thing was new discovery for me! I wonder what else lurks there. Oh yes, he likes mincemeat pies. That was a big hullabaloo one Thanksgiving when he was SUPPOSED to bring pumpkin pies. That was 40 years ago and we still talk about it.
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Strangely enough, your family will be richer for this tragedy in the long run – a chance to regroup and spend valuable time together. My downfall is bread, especially the rustic variety. I have not forgiven my grocery store for deciding to stop carrying Dave’s Killer Bread. I have to traipse around town to get it now. I could live on bread and butter.
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Me too!
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We used to have a small family bakery that made the best Vienna bread. We would buy it on Sundays warm from the oven and it didn’t always make it home. Sadly there aren’t as many really great bakeries these days.
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I don’t drive with H in the car. Nothing I do is right. 😂
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I hope he didn’t teach your kids how to drive!
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Ha! I think Andrews sister taught him. You know you are getting old when you can’t remember stuff like that!
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My family is nothing but terrible backseat drivers. It’s nice that Goggle Maps has made us obsolete.
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Runs in my family too. Being obsolete doesn’t stop us from doing it!
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I miss having my parents around to do things for. It was a labor of love, for sure. I’ve always forgotten stuff when I go to retrieve “whatever it was” from another room. It’s the forgetting of words that is now driving me crazy.
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Yes and names. Even of people I know well. Book me a room in the nursing home!
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Sweet thoughts, well said. Life is like that, it teaches you wonderful things through lousy things.
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It does. You don’t learn much when things are going well, do you?
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Sadly no…
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Angel hair pasta drizzled with olive oil and some parmesan…makes me totally comfortable! I love it!
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OMG! One of my favs. You don’t need much with good pasta. During the summer I throw fresh cherry tomatoes slice in half (plus the olive oil and parmesan and some fresh basil). I could become a vegetarian.
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My mouth is watering! 🙂
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Yes, I need some fresh from the garden tomatoes!
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I love your closing paragraph, Kate. It is so true!
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Yes. My brother was cleared to drive today. It will take a while until he gets a car and all that but I will miss the time I have spent with him even if we are lecturing each other as we tend to do.
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This is evocative for me. When my dad could no longer drive, he too would direct my driving. If any of my siblings had done that, I would have been irked. But not him; I got it. It was one of the few “controls” so speak, that he had left. Good on you for allowing your brother that. – Marty
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I didn’t say I didn’t bark back but we did laugh.
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I am currently trying to negotiate a working arrangement with my brain. Here’s the problem – sometimes I put things away where they should be, and sometimes I leave them close to where I last used them. My brain seems to always pick the wrong option! If I look where it is supposed to be … it isn’t there. If I look around the area it was last used, it isn’t there. I always find the item, but it is always where I don’t look first, and when I try to second guess … my brain is one step ahead of me. I am working on it, but I think my brain is controlling more than I want to believe.
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That sounds scary! I imagine your brain having a good laugh as you go to the wrong place.
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That’s the point isn’t it. Who exactly is in control here!
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Brain 1, Colin 0
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My brain agrees with you, but I am not so sure. 🙂
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