Once in a while I take an irrational disliking to someone. Sometimes I don’t know why. There is something about them (and I can’t always put my finger on it) — appearance, behavior or vocabulary that reminds me of someone I dislike. I project those feelings onto someone else. It may not make sense but it just is. One time I was on the dislike end. I started a new job in a very small department of four people. One person spent more time out of the office but we did interact. He took a dislike to me the first week. No matter what I did, it didn’t change. My boss noticed it. We discussed it. Since he didn’t like her either, she wasn’t concerned but I was. There are people who are not fond of me but it doesn’t happen that fast. I was there for nine months and it was in the last month I found out why. We worked on a project together and at the end he said I wasn’t so bad. I bluntly asked him why he thought I was. He said that I reminded him of his ex-wife and it was a nasty divorce. There was no way I could have called that one but it taught me a lesson. Sometimes it’s not about me at all.
I had to get a procedure done this week. It was very simple. A friend had it done a few years back and all I remember was that it was very uncomfortable for her. That’s all I had in my head as I went in. I talked to the technician who kindly explained everything several times trying to talk me off the ceiling. Pfft! Easy peasy. The discomfort was so temporary it was easier than a mosquito bite. We all deal with discomfort (I refuse to call it pain) differently.
Going through life requires navigating the words and actions of others which aren’t always what they seem. Almost all that happens is not about you. Nor does everyone react the same to stimulus. Life is a juggling act and you have to figure it out for yourself. By the time you do that, you are old! As my mom said, “Too soon old and too late smart!”