I have an old friend who I periodically meet for lunch. This week I reached out to schedule. I thought of why lunch with her is so effortless.
She meets me after her Pilate’s class. I don’t have to dress up. She doesn’t have to shower. No makeup either. Perhaps I’ll comb my hair, perhaps I’ll go au naturel! (I try to remember deodorant!)
We always meet at the same place. No thinking involved. It’s a pizza place which is my favorite food. We don’t look for exotic places because it’s not about the food.
It’s an hour. We don’t linger. We have things to do and errands to run. It’s a quick but satisfying connect.
We are retired. There is no work talk. We can’t remember work. It’s all about our daily lives.
There is a genuine interest in what we are doing. Did you ever ask someone how they are and then didn’t care enough to listen? (Not that I would EVER do that!)
It is convenient. Neither one of us gets hurt if there is a cancellation. No hidden agendas. “It won’t work today” is enough to reschedule. No one is required to have a doctor’s excuse.
There is a history with a long tail going back decades. We’ve watched each other evolve. There was growth, setbacks and more growth. Reincarnations. Changes in direction. Rabbit holes that needed exploring. Yet we always came back.
We share tactics on aging and avoiding social engagements we don’t want to do. She taught me about the 90 minute rule. You can do anything for 90 minutes (although for her it’s 60 minutes…I may get there soon) and then skedaddle without guilt. For things you really don’t want to do the answer is “no.”
Our hair got shorter over the years and the business suits were replaced by a wardrobe of jeans. Her hair is silvery and mine calls Clairol a dear friend.
We developed laugh lines at just the right spots and get those nasty (old people) growths removed. We are the new 40!
We are amazed that life has been so good to us and lament on testy technology which is confounding to anyone born before 1990. So many similarities and so many differences.
Everyone needs a friend like this in their life. Effortless and reaffirming.