Christmas odds and ends


Long-time readers know I am a Starbucks fan. Maybe fanatic is a better word. All the Starbucks except one are closed for Christmas and yes, I found it. They are corporate stores. They ask for volunteers to staff a centrally located store. I was there by 8 a.m. There was a group of festive young men serving. I thanked them for working and they thanked me for coming….by my name. There must have been someone there from my store because I can’t possibly be that famous! It’s a place where everyone knows your name. (Mostly cause they write it on your drink!)

We went to a Christmas lunch hosted by old (think long-tenured) friends. They had some new people who I hadn’t met before. One woman was a real pistol so I sat next to her. (It’s what I do when you find someone who will amuse me.) As she told a story about staying in a really smelly hotel room I wanted everyone to get the feel of the hotel so I asked for a description. When she was at a loss for words (I was expecting smoky or boozy), I suggested perhaps stale genitals. The hostess’s 80-something mother who was sitting at the same table turned purple and split her gut laughing. Of course then there was the conversation on what fresh genitals smell like. The answer is they don’t.

Speaking of this hostess, she gave me a perfect gift. She handed it to me saying “it’s cheap and stupid.” (When was the last time you were given a gift with such a description? Never!) It’s a desk sign that says, “IF YOU WERE IN MY NOVEL YOU’D BE DEAD BY NOW.” I think it’s perfect. I am thinking of writing a novel about dead people. Hope it’s not too long. Perhaps an abridged version will be available. Stay tuned. You may be in it.

The beloved husband and I were successful in cutting back on gifts. We gave each other one. His gift was much needed slippers and mine was a Starbucks gift card (also much needed). The cats missed the wrapping paper.

There is always yin and yang. I must have been having too much yin. Right on schedule the day after Christmas, my foot had a spasm. It was quite painful and I had to keep it elevated. I needed staff to serve me and cook. It went away overnight. I have no idea what it was but I enjoyed reruns of the cooking shows without guilt. The cats took turns purring on me.

55 thoughts on “Christmas odds and ends

  1. Pingback: Everybody Has a Rat Story. | Behind the Story

  2. I love the cheap, stupid gift. Isn’t it strange to have some kind of disabling physical problem come out of nowhere and then, almost as quickly, disappear? I guess it was a good excuse to enjoy a rest with the cats. My only-two-year-old car had a problem yesterday that seemed to have come out of nowhere. I took it to the dealer today. Well, guess what they found? A rat’s next. And the rat had gnawed through some wires.

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  3. I covet that desk sign. I’ve a friend who gets Andy the best engineering slogan shirts, (i.e., “With enough thrust, pigs fly just fine,” and “Duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it can shut it up”). But I don’t see enough snarky writer stuff like that.

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  4. Glad that while I’m here (at Starbucks) reading this right now, I don’t have any coffee in my mouth because I would’ve snorted it out or spat it at the monitor when I read this. Wow.

    I understand cutting back on Christmas. I’ve got too much clutter in my house as it is and the only things I’d want for Christmas is gifts cards for Starbucks, art supply stores, or bookstores–and I even have to cut out the bookstore cards because I’ve got too many books on my shelf and not enough time to read them as it is! I’m usually at Starbucks on Christmas Day to give them some business, but the one open around here is packed halfway through the morning and i can’t get any work done. Stayed home and watched “Jaws” and “A Christmas Story” instead (hee hee).

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  5. I now know how much you love your Starbucks! Not that I didn’t know before, but I REALLY know now! Glad your foot decided to behave. CH and I haven’t exchanged gifts for a few years because neither one of can wait if we need/want something… 😀

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  6. This was a hoot! Glad your foot is better. I’m working my way thru PT due to a fall on Nov 30. Didn’t go to the doctor right away and pain escalated. Most pain is gone but I still have to do the damn exercises because I was born with a crooked spine and things are only getting worse as I age. Also had to invest in a pair of very expensive sneakers. Hope the darn things fit when they get here. I hate trying to buy shoes online, but as much as I hurt I wasn’t about to go traipsing around Omaha before Christmas looking for shoes that cost too much. Four grandchildren made Christmas a delight! Have a Merry New Year!

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    • My foot problem went away as mysteriously as it came. I suspect I irritated a nerve (you know how testy they can be). However, it settled right back down the next day instead of giving me a week of pampering. Hope the sneakers help. Nothing worse than buying special shoes and it doesn’t make a difference.


  7. I was surprised to see big banners on several Starbucks that are close to me that said “Open Christmas.” Although I’m sure that was good news for many, I couldn’t help feeling a bit sorry for the employees. Funny sign… your friend knows you well. If I happen to appear in your novel, please make my demise as pain free as possible. Now I’m going to clean house… I want to make sure it doesn’t smell like stale genitals (thanks for giving me something else to worry about).

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  8. Oh my gosh that was funny! I really want that sign! A lady in my poker group gave me one that said ” If we were in China you would already be dead” It’s what our XBox poker avatar is always saying. Happy New Year!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Great post! My daughter works at Starbucks so I’m glad they were closed so that she could come home and be with us. My mom has the same feeling about going outside with your pj’s on and gave my older daughter a bad time about it once, but when she was here for Christmas she made a big deal about telling us she got the “dress” she was wearing in the sleepwear department at Target! She liked it because it was soft and had long sleeves. She wore it backward because she said she was “too old” to show too much cleavage. That’s my mom 🙂 Glad your foot is better.

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  10. Our Starbucks was open Christmas Day. As we were going through the drive-through. we noticed a couple rocking warm, comfy pajamas. I don’t believe that they meant it to be a fashion statement — just a total surrendering to the day. Loved it — and may consider doing it myself one time.

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    • I love it too but my mother was so firm about wearing “night clothes” for sleeping only that I wouldn’t feel dressed. Even when we were sick we put on “real clothes” even if it was just a sweat suit. I once saw a whole family in pjs going into the mall to get their picture taken (probably for Christmas cards). It was wild.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Years ago when I worked in design, the holidays were brutal. Long hours leading up to it. I always was sick on Christmas. It wasn’t fun but I appreciated the chance to just sleep. Hope you recover soon.


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