If you’ve been reading the last few weeks you know I’m teaching a class in public speaking. It’s a damn good thing it’s not at a nudist colony or I’d be fired.
I just finished the sixth doctor appointment in three weeks. When you have had cancer the chances of getting it elsewhere is greater than a “normal” person (and I use that term loosely because we all know how normal I am). I have a specialist for just about every body part there is and it’s their job to make sure I am healthy.
The last appointment was with my dermatologist. It was for a whole body cancer check. You have to be buck naked for that.
There is this weird phenomenon, at least for me. When I’m naked my talking skills don’t work. I forget words and get all tongue-tied.
Part of it is that I use words like barnacle, thingy and booger for growths on my skin. Dermatologists use words that end in keratosis or an –itis. I know those words but they don’t roll off of my tongue. If I am naked they get all twisted up and really don’t roll off my tongue.
I don’t understand this but I lived it again. I stuttered like a kindergarten kid (most kindergarten kids are far more articulate than I was). I had to explain two boogers on my face which were removed last week by another doctor.
The beloved husband says I can talk for 20 minutes about nothing (by nothing he means about things that I like – cats, frogs, pond, stupid people at Starbucks). Yet in this setting for which I go prepared with diagrams of all my boogers and barnacles, I am speechless.
I know the difference between the various boogers and even know the technical terms for them, yet if a doctor is in the room and I am buck naked, I can’t remember anything. I have difficulty remembering my birthdate. It’s important to know that because it’s the first question they ask you.
And this is why I need to take a person with me to a doctor appointment! I’d feel better if they were buck naked too.