They walk among us

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Neanderthals from Geico ad

I swear these guys were at my prom! (Courtesy of the Geico ad)

I was reading the newspaper this morning and came across an interesting article. (Yes, I still read a paper version. You do remember what that is, don’t you?)

There was a study done.

It seems that many years ago modern humans (like us) were boinking with Neanderthals (Good Lord what were we thinking?).

Consequently there are people with Neanderthal DNA wandering around. Yes, even today! Maybe your neighbor! Or your spouse!

Not only that but there was a second orgy of mating later on. Some people never seem to get enough. More DNA!

They could have saved themselves a lot of money.

I already knew that. In my youth I conducted a study of my own only I didn’t know it then. It was called dating.

You remember dating? It’s when you think someone is wonderful. Then you spend a couple of hours with them only to find out they are axe murderers in training.

I dated some wonderful guys but there was a smattering of Neanderthals (along with the axe murderers) on my dance card.

This is an age progression photo of my prom date.

This is an age progression photo of my prom date.

A Neanderthal is said to have been short-bodied, brutishly strong (or maybe just brutish), adapted for hardship (that would include beer kegs kicking in the middle of a party) and cold weather (this is when they paint half of their face one color and go shirtless at sports events).

They made use of fire (mostly bonfires prior to sub-zero sports events but there was the occasional weenie roast); crafted simple flake tools (to chop their steaks or weenies); and hunted (lusty women with low morals and even less clothes).

They had a poor vocabulary too (what a surprise!).

Bears fan courtesy of the Sun Times

Bears fan courtesy of the Sun Times

They are illustrated as hunched, furry people with questionable wit. That’s because the first set of bones found belonged to an old arthritic Neanderthal and he set the bar low. That explains a lot.

I am sure there were some Neanderthals that looked more like Brad Pitt or George Clooney (with BIG furry brows and lots of fuzzy hair and dangly arms) but they weren’t in my social circle.

I am not kidding about this! To read the full story click here.

Here is a picture of my great, great, great, great, (many more greats) grandmother.

Aside from the PMS look, isn't she a beauty?

Aside from the PMS look, isn’t she a beauty?

35 thoughts on “They walk among us”

  4. Hysterical, Kate. I’m not sure some of my dates were that evolved. Is a Neanderthal a step above or below a Cro-Magnon man. Your age-progression photo is a real hoot. I still cringe when I think about the dating years, but this made me laugh out loud.

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    • You made me investigate a big more. The Neanderthals came before the Cro-Magnon which is the one of the earliest humans in Europe. They came before Emily Post’s book on etiquette. I am sure I dated some of those too. (BTW anthropology is a very interesting subject. I got all caught up in reading about this stuff when I was looking for photos or illustrations.)

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      • Thanks for checking, Kate. I only got as far as Webster’s dictionary and it didn’t provide a time span for these guys.

        Your post was funny and fascinating. It sparked memories of some guys who had a short shelf-life in my dating pool because they failed the Emily Post etiquette test. 😉

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  5. I think I know that Bears fan! Sheesh we’ve just met and for the rest of the evening I’ll be thinking about my ancestors boinking with Neanderthals in the wooly mammoth barn…or something like that.. .Oh dear. Not good! Fun post. Thanks for the smile.

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  7. Huh. Didn’t know any of this in an academic sense, but certainly knew it on a more intuitive level. What a weird thing, really. Neanderthal DNA exists within some of us. Explains a lot.

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    • He did. It was a beautiful thistle and no one else had one like it. Well, on second thought, he wasn’t the only Neanderthal there. They did leave their clubs outside though.

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  10. Just saw a Jeopardy show where one of the contestants said she knew she had some Neanderthal DNA. All I could think of was “Why would you admit to that?”

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  11. I think I’ve run into a few of those lately…oh boy, those hairy ones and the gals! Those Neanderthal women were lusty matches, betcha’…Ha, he…this is too cute.

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    • I was stunned to see a blue-eyed redhead among the Neanderthal photos. I didn’t find anything that said they had to have brown hair and eyes though so why not.

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