I was reading the newspaper this morning and came across an interesting article. (Yes, I still read a paper version. You do remember what that is, don’t you?)
There was a study done.
It seems that many years ago modern humans (like us) were boinking with Neanderthals (Good Lord what were we thinking?).
Consequently there are people with Neanderthal DNA wandering around. Yes, even today! Maybe your neighbor! Or your spouse!
Not only that but there was a second orgy of mating later on. Some people never seem to get enough. More DNA!
They could have saved themselves a lot of money.
I already knew that. In my youth I conducted a study of my own only I didn’t know it then. It was called dating.
You remember dating? It’s when you think someone is wonderful. Then you spend a couple of hours with them only to find out they are axe murderers in training.
I dated some wonderful guys but there was a smattering of Neanderthals (along with the axe murderers) on my dance card.
A Neanderthal is said to have been short-bodied, brutishly strong (or maybe just brutish), adapted for hardship (that would include beer kegs kicking in the middle of a party) and cold weather (this is when they paint half of their face one color and go shirtless at sports events).
They made use of fire (mostly bonfires prior to sub-zero sports events but there was the occasional weenie roast); crafted simple flake tools (to chop their steaks or weenies); and hunted (lusty women with low morals and even less clothes).
They had a poor vocabulary too (what a surprise!).
They are illustrated as hunched, furry people with questionable wit. That’s because the first set of bones found belonged to an old arthritic Neanderthal and he set the bar low. That explains a lot.
I am sure there were some Neanderthals that looked more like Brad Pitt or George Clooney (with BIG furry brows and lots of fuzzy hair and dangly arms) but they weren’t in my social circle.
I am not kidding about this! To read the full story click here.
Here is a picture of my great, great, great, great, (many more greats) grandmother.