It’s all about the girls

Lately I have noticed that I’m uncomfortable. Straps are falling down. So are other things. You know what that means.

It’s time to buy some new holsters for the girls.

There is nothing more uncomfortable than a stretched out bra.

I don’t buy often but when I do I buy at least a half dozen. By the time I need them again, my favorite style is no longer made. It happens every time.

Last round I decided to go to a store that specializes in lingerie. They measure you and fit you. I thought it may be weird but what the heck.

First a little background on the girls – I don’t have a matched set. They were at one time — sort of — but a bout with cancer changed that. One is definitely smaller and has a bit of left rudder to it. The beloved husband assures me that men are made that way too so I am not to worry.

When I had the cancer treatments I was so grateful to be alive I didn’t care if they no longer matched. Being asymmetrical but alive is so much better than the alternative.

Back to the fitting room – A child of 12 came to measure me. Ok, she was probably older but not much. I was totally afraid of freaking her out. The girls don’t look odd just asymmetrical. The scar isn’t very noticeable at all.

I explained the deal to her and she didn’t flinch. Guess a lot of women, old and young, have mismatched girls. Some may even be missing one or both.

She did a standard measurement and suggested some sizes that I didn’t think would work. I am open though. Perhaps they would work.

They didn’t. I had six packs hanging on one of them and the other was just uncomfortable. The girls were unhappy. When they are unhappy, I am unhappy.

Do you fit for the big one or the smaller one? She averaged them out so the cup fit neither.

Eventually we figured out a size that would work. It wasn’t a huge surprise that it was the size I was wearing when I walked in. There were some suggestions like inserting a “cookie” in the small cup to make it the same size. Yeah, I can’t believe they call them cookies either.

I tried that once before. The damn thing fell out at the most inopportune time. It could be a conversation starter for sure. Talk about a wardrobe malfunction.

It probably needed to be in a bra pocket or connected to something. It was a gel thingy and it got hot and sweaty. The girls weren’t happy.

I could have one surgically implanted but after my surgery and treatment I don’t want anyone slicing there. I promised the girls no more trauma. Besides I look perfectly fine as long as I’m not naked and even then it’s not so bad.

This round I think I’ll just go and grab several different styles and a few sizes and see where we go. The girls will let me know when they are happy. When the girls are happy, the whole house is happy.

41 thoughts on “It’s all about the girls

  1. Your clever post made me smile! All of my bras are at the stretched out point but I hate buying new ones as I like a certain brand and they usually only have one or two in my size, You are brave to be measured by a 12 year old. Surviving cancer can change your outlook.


  2. Hilarious and oh-so-true. I think most of us put up with older, comfy ones to avoid having to be fitted. my pet peeve is it’s impossible to find one WITHOUT padding. Trust me when I say I don’t need that! Oh vay! I’m stressed just writing about it 🙂


    • My pet peeve is always the size. Once I figure out which size I need, they only have one left. Then I have to run around looking for more. I bought one last year that was the same as the ones I had but it was a whole inch longer so now I always try them on.


  3. Your “girls” certainly made me laugh this morning, but I know their dilemma is not funny. The last time I got fitted, my girls were not happy either. They have chosen one brand they like and we stick with it even though the styles change with the decades. It’s always trial and error no matter what.


  4. I can’t stand underwires and it is hard to find bras that don’t cover everything up that don’t have wires. I do like a bit of decollete for my girls. There is not a lot to them but what’s lacking in quantity is made up in quality. 🙂


  5. I admire your confidence in buying half a dozen or more at a time. I usually try on 8 or 10 and end up buying 1 or 2, thinking that next time I come back I’ll find the perfect bra, something that looks good (holds me up and in) and still feels good (doesn’t poke into my ribs and shoulders too much). Totally unrealistic, right?


  6. I have spent many an hour in the specialty lingerie store trying on bras at the scary end of the bra alphabet. Like you, when I finally found one that worked, I just kept buying it. Good luck finding a home to make the girls happy.


  7. So funny, I went out with a gaggle of my girlfriends Friday night, and we discussed The Bra Dilemma at length (including the two of us in the group who are breast cancer survivors). I was just drafting my next blog post about the evening…great minds think alike?


  8. Random thought: Back when Oprah was on she kept promising a show on how to fit and buy. I never caught it and wondered not why–it is important to look good–but I did wonder what she wanted to add to this question about which obviously she had something to say.
    Hope you settle into the style and size that pleases everybody.


    • I had heard about that but I never heard if she did the show. I worked back then so I didn’t see her show often but I caught the one on tee-shirt bed sheets and I have loved them ever since. Her girls are so much bigger than mine that I don’t know if what works for her would work for me.


  9. Got some of those comfy things that don’t poke but also don’t do a darn thing for your looks. I need underwires but hate the poking and pain. When I’ve dropped 30 lb. I will buy really good ones! Dreams!


  10. Thanks for the reminder. The store I used to get my style at no longer carries them. I thought that they were discontinued but found some a year later at another store. One that I had planned on going to this week for a suit. Had not thought of restocking. Thanks! 8)


  11. Guess that would go for all things – “when the girls are happy, the whole house is happy”. Sorry your girls had to get messed with but really glad the surgery worked and you are fine. Friend of mine is going through this, for the second time right now. Just horrible, as she recently moved to Canada and I can’t be there to support her through it.


  12. Right on…situation is getting drastic w/mine and I so dislike having to buy new ones. Think I might throw caution to the wind and just buy some in my ‘old’ size and be done with it. The girls would probably be quite comfortable not having to jiggle around in larger or maybe even wince in some cramped digs! Glad yours have settled in.


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