I have a great idea. I get a lot of them but most are ignored. This one is interesting.
We should put a woman’s purse in time capsules so future archeologists can learn how intricate the American woman is. Instead of carbon dating you just need to look at the contents.
You can tell a lot about the owner from looking inside the purse. You can tell her age, when she lived, her interests, her afflictions and how vain she is. Where else can you find out all that stuff in one spot?
When I was younger, much younger, I thought that when I got older my purse would get smaller. I looked forward to it as one of the few (very few) benefits of getting older along with my AARP card, senior discounts and stealing sugar packets at restaurants.
No more bulky pads/tampons (just in case) or extra pantyhose (yes we did that then).
Fat chance of that happening.
In fact my intention was to age gracefully and beautifully so that I wouldn’t have to carry a makeup bag either. (I was so naïve!)
As I passed through the decades I found that the contents of my pocketbook didn’t lessen – they only changed. In a sense they also aged.
As a teenager, I wore glasses so I carried sunglasses around. That transitioned to contact lenses but guess what? I still needed the sunglasses (my eyes were even more sensitive to light) but now I also needed to carry a contact lens kit.
I carried a transistor radio back in the day but gave that up for nail polish and a file. This is before MP3 players. Way before.
When I was very young, my nails, toes and lips all matched. They also matched my clothes. Do you know how often that required changes? No more!
Now I consider it lucky if anything is polished any color. I’m lucky if anything matches including my underwear!
I’m lucky if I remembered underwear!
We dressed up for work so there was always extra clothes in my purse along with hairspray, combs, brushes and the makeup bag stocked with strange things that I never used. I also had a toothbrush, paste and mouthspray so I could be fresh. There was a goofy plastic thingy that you put over your hair in case of rain.
I would keep a paperback book (for lunch breaks) in my purse along with jewelry, gum, paper and pens (you never know when you have to jot down some hunk’s phone number).
Then came the cell phones. The old ones were big and heavy.
The contact lenses went away and we are back to big, freaking sunglasses now. The sanitary supplies are replaced by “other” sanitary supplies. The makeup is gone, replaced by Chapstick but I added aspirin, stomach pills and other medications.
One thing that has remained constant is the big fat wallet. Women’s wallets have always been bigger and fatter than men’s wallets but not because of money. They have decorative stitching, fancy studs and all kinds of designer touches and extra compartments that add to the weight. They add zero to the functionality.
For me functionality has gone down the tubes. The purse I bought in the spring has so many compartments and zippered sections that I can never find anything. There must be a system but I can’t get it. My next purse will have one zippered compartment and I’ll accessorize it with a man’s skinny black wallet.
Maybe then I will be able to find my stuff!
The archeologist who finds my time capsule will think I am a super organized female member of the Homo sapiens tribe with various ailments and some unnatural fetishes.
So what’s in your wallet?