It’s a disease that happens when someone retires. I don’t know how it started. I’m not sure when it started. Just one day it was there.
It doesn’t hurt unless you count your feelings when someone thinks your elevator doesn’t go to the top floor. Or you’re not working with a full deck.
Listen here I was one of the sharpest knives in the drawer…at one time. Could I have dulled? Where is that damn sharpener?
Yesterday I found myself trying to reason with a cat. For goodness sakes! Everyone knows that you can’t reason with a cat. You just tell them. They ignore you and life goes on.
Then I explained to my fish why I couldn’t feed them at that precise minute. Really?
Later in the day I apologized to a chair I walked into. A freaking chair! I didn’t want the chair to think I was rude. I have a good relationship with my furniture and I want to keep it that way.
I always try to explain to my car what the other stupid people are doing in hopes of looking logical…to my car.
That’s it! I care about animals and inanimate objects thinking I’m rude or illogical!
Does it matter what my refrigerator thinks? Nope! I’m annoyed with it right now. The former fridge only lasted six years. Six years! I am holding a grudge against all refrigerators until one hits the 20 year mark.
Not sure how this all started but I fear it ends with me getting institutionalized. We will need to keep this a secret. You are not to tell anyone. Unless you do it?
Humor me while I explain to my keyboard why I haven’t been around today.
Views and Mews by Coffee Kat 
Hilarious, Kate, and I can relate. I’ve apologized to a store dummy I bumped into, tried rationalizing with my cats about feeding time, and I talk to myself. On the latter, it’s safer that way – no one to disagree with me.
Get the cashmere straightjackets ready! We can share tea and stories as we count flowers on the wall. 🙂
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Your secret is safe with me, Kate…but I did raise my eyebrow! 🙂
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‘Huzzah!’ The rest of us already in the Institution welcome your admissions. Now to the ‘get out of my head’ part:
Yesterday, I vacuumed the air filter attached to our A/C. When I was done, I caught myself saying (out loud), “there, that’s got to feel better”. The filter agreed. I’m perfectly fine with that. Enjoyed learning I am merely a member of a very large group. No further questions your Honor. Dan
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If you don’t talk to your furniture, who will? Poor things.
I think you’re perfectly sane, Kate. (I hope that doesn’t scare you.)
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Quite frankly, it does scare me. Especially if you are the standard!
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I am relieved to know it’s not just me! I talk to Frankie all the time. He’s a 13 year old Lab and deaf. Whatever, he completely gets it. In my mind, he has a British accent. Do your cats have accents? Where from?? 🙂
MJ
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I think Jake is from the Bronx or maybe Brooklyn. Definitely not British. As for the girls, I think one is from the Ziegfield Follies. The other two I’m not sure.
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Ziefield Follies — h a ha ha!
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😀 Hilarious. This is good for my self esteem, though, as I have yet to apologise to any piece of furniture which, by your explanation, means that I am still completely sane and sharp as a piece of rubber.
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Yep, sharp as a piece of rubber…you are!
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Hahaha! My cat likes to sit tub side while I shower, and the other day – in the middle of a conversation with him – I interrupted myself to say, “hmmm, 30 more years of this, ehh?”
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Yes, 30 more years if you’re lucky!
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Uh Oh! I’m in trouble for laughing so hard at you being institutionalized for apologizing to chairs, fish, and cats. I did that for years, but now that I’m really old, I forget and repeat the apologies.
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Oh no! I think we’re close in age so I guess that’s next.
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OMG! Best laugh of the day! Is this what I have to look forward To in retirement??? I fear I may be getting there too soon, You need some human intervention…call me!!!!
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People who work are to busy to be nice to inanimate objects or to care what the cat thinks. Once retired you have time to think about how rude people are to the things in their lives that only want to be respected for their part of making life nicer. You want those important things to know they are appreciated…unless they act up then they are not. The cat…well who doesn’t talk to the cat?
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Makes sense.
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Hahahaha! I’ll assume I’m doomed considering I do all of those things and I’m not retired. Save me a room with a view at the institution…lord knows I’ll need some birds to talk to other than the coo coos.
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I’m pretty sure there will be a bloggers wing. We’ll save you a room!
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You know the cat is laughing at you.
The fridge is too.
But we aren’t. Because WE get it! 😛
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The cats mock me no matter what I do (except of course when I feed them, then I am their bestie!)
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I named a few of my appliances and my car and my computers. I feel more comfortable talking with them now that we’re on a first name basis. Don’t even think a thing about it anymore. 😉
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I used to name my car but then I had trouble trading it in. It was like losing an old friend.
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I’m in my mid-40’s and I have more conversations with the dogs than I do with the two humans I live with. And that’s usually the most intelligent discussions I have during the day.
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I fully understand.
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Fell off the chair laughing…don’t worry until you have to sing a certain song to the cat each morning while serving up mousies….you won’t tell? I won’t tell….walking away quickly now….
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Oh no! It’s worse than I thought. This has spread!
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hope it’s not a computer spread virus?
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I thought I was the only one who did this crap! Thanks for sharing. I feel better now. Gotta run… my cat is trying to tell me something, and if I don’t ‘hop to’ there will be hell to pay.
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Yes, they do get annoyed when you don’t “get it.”
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Wait until you start talking to yourself out loud 🙂
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Too late. Done that. I even answer myself. Really, I needed stimulating conversation.
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Which is where the cats come in 🙂
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Well now that I snorted soda through my nose…this is hilarious! I have absolutely apologized to a chair for bumping into it, as a pure reflex if nothing else. And I discuss current events with my cats. I yell at the TV a lot. I guess I’ll see you at the institution.
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Thank God! There will be friends there! We’ll have great conversations with the rocking chair!
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