By nature I am not a hypochondriac. I don’t acknowledge illness and much prefer the land of denial. I hardly ever alter my schedule because of sickness. I had fabulous attendance both at school and at work. I would go for years without a sick day. A key to my successful record was that I loved school and my job. Even people who enjoy what they do, occasionally take a sick day. Not me.
Occasionally I don’t feel quite right. If it doesn’t go away in 24 hours, I start self-diagnosing my issue. I don’t stay home but I mentally exhaust myself with what I could possibly have. This is compounded by the fact that I had a bout with breast cancer several years ago. Once you have done the dance with cancer, you are never quite the same. You can almost feel those little aberrant cells swarming around trying to grab hold of you…again.
So here I am. I have a headache. For one week, I have had a headache. Nothing helps – not Advil or acetaminophen or aspirin. I never get headaches so this is discerning. It could be a brain tumor or perhaps the cancer came back. Breast cancer does recur in the brain. Do brain aneurysms give you a headache right before they rupture? I have been doing these mental exercises for several days.
Yes, of course I made a doctor appointment. Seems that everyone is ill and unless I am having a seizure (in which case I should call 911), I have to wait two more weeks until I can get to explore my hypotheses. Secretly, I am hoping it goes away before then because that’s a long way off.
I know I am not the only one who does this. The beloved husband blames this on all the hospital shows I watch. I have become very familiar with a lot of new illnesses. On the Gifted Man, I saw a woman survive a car crash with a broken leg and just a slight bruise on her head. Within a day or two she was dead caused by bleeding in the brain which destroyed her memory center and then killed her. Good lord, could I have that? I did whack my head on the kitchen cabinet.
Tonight is Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice. Maybe I’ll learn something new although it’s really tough getting past all the sex on those shows. I once asked my doctor if there is that much sex happening in a hospital. He spit his coffee through his nose and said, “I wish!” We’ll see.