This is one of my favorite pictures of Jake medicating himself in the catnip

Here is an old post about Jake from a year before he passed. He lived to be 18, diabetic for 9 of them. He ruled the roost and is still missed by his peeps! This was originally posted in 2014.

This isn’t technically a cat post although it starts there and then segues.

This is a hectic week.

Trees have been cut down and hauled away.

There is a massive heat wave that makes even me sweat bucketsful.

On top of that, yesterday Jake wouldn’t get up for breakfast….or lunch. He lay prone under the bed at a spot that was inaccessible and growled at me.

Not good.

He’s an old cat. At any given point, his time may be up. I know that. I treasure him even when he is obnoxious as an elderly special needs cat can be.

He’s high maintenance. Without him my life would be much simpler.

Try telling that to my heart. Can’t seem to make the transition of information from brain to heart. Why is logic not working?

It causes confusion in my body. Would it be relief or extreme sadness? Yes to both. I remember that conflict when my mother was ill.

Are you selfish to want someone to hang on even though their quality of life isn’t good? Are you a bad person to feel relief when it’s over? The feelings alternate and none of them feel good. With relief comes guilt. With sadness comes loss.

Yesterday was a confusing day. I had trouble focusing and accomplishing and I had a lot of both to do. There were occasional treks peering under the bed to check for signs of life. What if he passes by himself? Is it bad to die alone? Do animals prefer it?

Around dinnertime he mustered up enough energy to go out and lay under the shrubs. He enjoys that. It must be a cool spot although it’s cool under the bed too.

He ate supper, then whined for more. He was back — annoying and high maintenance as always.

Finally I could think. I could finish my planning for the weekend. I even started reading a book. The tension was gone. Focus had returned.

The crisis passed.

Maybe next time it will happen but yesterday wasn’t the day.

Listen Cupcake, don’t blame me if your day got screwed up!