Hope (not love) is all you need!

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This clipart will make sense at the end!

Hope is what keeps us going. Without it, what’s the point?

I always take a quart of hope to the hair salons, hoping I don’t look like someone out of the 70s or someone in their 70s (yes, both have happened). When someone turns 70, hairdressers give an “old lady look” to the hair. (Or could it be that the old lady look is there and they can’t camouflage it?)

This week I took a six pack of hope to the new eye doc and so far it’s good. I’ve had dry eye for 25 years, so I understand a lot about it. I know all the standard practices which help somewhat but there are new treatments and products on the market. The new doc did a thorough evaluation including a broad range of blood tests. That’s new. She also steered away from some of the standard practices. I don’t know if the result will be better but I’m along for the ride.

As I was in the doc’s office, I realized how much hope has to do with it. Hope makes me do the eye drops consistently. Hope makes me willing to pay for drugs not covered by my insurance. Sometimes hope is all you have. Sometimes it works or at least works enough. Sometimes it’s dashed.

We had a lot of hope with our contractor but that has not only been trashed but it left a bad taste for all contractors. One day I will write a post about it. It can be a seedy world. My contractor squashed hope that the deck (which he described as a two-week job) with be done anytime soon (we are in week six). Through careful listening I found out he’s working another job which explains by he only puts a half day in my project. It’s a bad practice. Finish one job and go on to the next. Less running around and happier clients.

We are about three quarters complete and it would be difficult to find another contractor. Evidently our good will and eagerness to give a good reference isn’t important in this climate. Contractors are backed up with work. They don’t need me to be happy. They just need another sucker to believe their lies.

This week I want to pick up a few pieces of summer clothes – maybe some tees and capris. I wonder how much hope I will need for that? Will a quart do or should I take a truckload?

59 thoughts on “Hope (not love) is all you need!”

  2. I read somewhere, and for the life of me I can’t remember where, that hope was the worst curse you could give a person. It’s teasing my memory so perhaps it will come to me. The gist being that hope has us waiting for something that might never happen. I’m not sure I agree with the idea, I think hope is important. No hope may sometimes be realistic but it’s pretty hard to live that way.

    I hope your contractor has made progress since you posted this. If he doesn’t have enough workers to cover his jobs he really shouldn’t keep taking more jobs. I like honesty above anything else when it comes to this sort of thing. I had my front window randomly shatter this weekend and they tell me it’ll be here in 3 weeks. I’m hoping it will.

    I get your hope regarding your hair. I’m considering investing in hats.

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    • It’s up and down with the contractor. Yesterday he got a lot of visible work done. Today not so much. He says it will be done this week and there is no way. He has a lot of work to do yet. I’m starting to think he is delusional. I hope your window comes in 3 weeks. Around here it’s 3 months (and that’s the truth!).

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  3. I wish you the best of luck with your eyes – as we discussed in comments on a prior post, my friend Carol has been dealing with the same dry eye syndrome for many years and would be grateful for any crumb of hope to make her situation better. I had a plumber do a job one Sunday and I paid a premium price in order to have it done on a Sunday, but he, like your contractor was double-dipping on my dime. If he had done this on the QT and I hadn’t realized it, would be bad enough, but he made no attempt to conceal the fact that he would be over shortly to see if it had “emptied and dried to do the final fix” then told me he had to run out for more parts. I didn’t believe him the first time, nor the second or third, but I wanted it done and the mess away. I don’t like we are at their mercy and they know it.

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      • Thank you – I hope you both have relief at some point. Yes, sadly that is true with contractors. I had some plumbing debacles back in 2017 where I questioned something and got a plumber’s helper in my face challenging me. He towered over me, looking and acting like a hood. There I was alone in the house, in the basement and I said “go ahead” … did not feel uncomfortable with this guy and I had to have another plumber in to do some corrections and he questioned some of what the plumbers did upstairs and in the basement. For example putting the shut-off valve above the dropped ceiling and he put the hot-cold in reverse as to the washer. I had to pay to undo both things. I went with that plumber as they were new to the neighborhood but checking their corporate records, they’d been in business 15 years and no trouble with the Better Business Bureau. This time I asked my hairstylist who did their plumbing. Better choice.

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  4. I am fond of declaring to my family, “I live on hope!” That’s really true, and you’ve captured the essence of my belief very well, Kate. I’m more of an optimist than not, and I do say that I’ll hope for a good outcome or result in something until I’m given a preponderance of evidence to negate that position! Without hope I don’t think you’d have been persuaded to take on your big move in the first place. 😀

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  6. I’m so sorry you’re on week six! Our kitchen contractor admitted that most of what he does for us on any given day is dependent on what crew he can get. I know he has more than one project going on at a time (I guess they all do), which I understand but I also am frustrated by it.

    Jesse Jackson used to say “Keep Hope Alive”. I still think about that as often as I can. It’s all we have sometimes. – Marty

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    • We saw the pergola slats go up today and that fed the hope. He finally admitted that he can’t do these jobs in the time he predicts because he can’t get enough help. I did an internal eye roll because he still leaves at 2 p.m. He works a 5 hour day (at best — there is a lunch break in there). In the past he only had one active project at a time. Others were in bid stage or maybe clean up. I’ve given up the expectation that it will be done soon and I’m hoping for the 4th of July.

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  7. I’m surprised by how unreliable contractors and handymen are. With all the DIY shows, you would think most people would be doing things themselves and they would have less business. I guess that isn’t how it works. My contractor who was refinishing our old deck to sell our house did a horrible job, charged us twice what he said it would cost, and took five times as long as well. They’re like used car salesmen I guess. Sorry it won’t be finished soon.

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    • We had a lot of those when we were re-doing the kitchen. One guy came out and spent two hours with us. He took measurements and said we’d hear from him by the end of the week. That was in February 2021. Haven’t heard yet.

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    • I tend to be an optimist so I get disappointed often. You would think by now that I’d ratchet down my expectations but I tend to believe what people tell me unless I suspect differently. When I worked in HR I could spot a lie at 20 paces. Somehow with contractors I want to believe. A hope angel is a wonderful thing.

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  11. Hope is what gets us out of bed every morning, right? 🙂 I got a haircut this week too, and I used a hot pack on my dry eyes this morning. 🙂 The contractor saga must get really old, but as you said what can a person do with a half finished job but wait some more. There are so many people looking for contractors and so few contractors, it is a tough issue, but dealing honestly would make it so much better for all concerned. I don’t shop for clothes unless I ‘have’ to because shopping is ot my thing. I wish you the best of luck in finding just what you want.

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    • Sometimes shopping gets me out of the house although this time I could use a few new summer things. Tees get ratty after a few years. Setting up reasonable expectations goes a long way to making it easier. It’s not just a slight overstatement. He said two weeks and we are at six and he’s got a lot of work to do yet. Had he said 2 months, I would have thought he was on target. Doc put me on steroid drops for inflammation. It was a bad flareup. It’s already feeling better. I hate using the hot packs especially in the summer. They seem to trigger a hot flash.

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  12. Sounds like you were lucky with the new eye doc – it probably gave you hope that you’d have a good experience at the hair salon. I am RARELY happy when I leave any hair salon and I’ve tried them all in our small town. I have horrible hair so shouldn’t expect much……fine baby hair and not that much of it thanks to thinning. BUT I put all that stuff into perspective – at least I HAVE some hair…….As for contractors – I have never liked the ones who try to juggle jobs and by doing so send the message to their customers – “we don’t care how long it takes, we’re going to make as much money as we can” and take more than one job on at the same time. That is just NOT FAIR. Period.

    Hugs, Pam

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    • I’ve had some good haircuts but it seems when I find someone I like, after a year or two they go rogue. The last one I dropped did wonderful cuts until the day she gave me a mullet (yep, it was). I had to cut the back shorter so it wouldn’t look too stupid. An old lady with a mullet! Really?

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  13. I was a hairdresser for many years, and it ain’t easy to get it right every time. I have had my share of bad cuts. But hair grows and bad cuts don’t last forever. Sadly, good cuts seem to grow out faster than bad ones.
    Sorry, the contractor problems continue for you. I don’t need a contractor, but several minor repairs need to be done here. Two fellows have done work for me, one is very expensive and the other takes forever to finish the work. Just have to decide who to call.
    I need some new duds but can’t find what I like. Good luck with your shopping.

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    • I have always liked the sign posted at one of my old time hairdressers “I’m a beautician, not a magician.” I’m fairly easy to please (really I am). My hair has a wave but it must be layered in the back. Without that it flares out like a mushroom. That’s the biggest problem I have. Yes, good haircuts grow faster than a bad one although you get to a certain age and find out it’s not the end of the world.

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  15. I’ve never had an eye doc want any of my blood. I know that our project supervisor on our current bathroom renovations is juggling three jobs at once. It might be how all contractors work now. As for shopping for clothes, you’ll gonna need gallons of hope, maybe even barrels.

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    • My contractor has left for the day. It’s 1:45. He got here just before 8:30. Ain’t never gonna get done! Juggling jobs works if you have crews. Otherwise everyone gets ticked off. It may work if you have stages where you pour a foundation and have to let it set for a week. Or maybe with tile work. Not a happy camper here.

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  16. I feel for you with the contractor issue. You’re right about hope when hiring one or using any kind of medical treatment. Your new eye doc sounds good with trying new things. I recently hung on hope when I went to the hair salon to get a perm! Yes, you read that right. A perm. They don’t do big hair like the 80s. It’s supposed to be wavy. Hope was dashed after it dried to one giant frizz bomb. However, I put a lot of product in since, and it actually looks the way I wanted it now. No more straight, unworkable hair. The waves are wet and go. I wanted to put the story on my blog, but the stylist reads it. So, sorry you got some of it here. 😛

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    • I love hearing about it. I’ve been trying to get my hair dresser to give me a perm. I have a wave but not on the top so I could use something. Since I color my hair (and I’m old) she won’t do it. I’m so glad your perm worked out for you.

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      • Your hair stylist knows her stuff. Mine told me if my hair was colored she wouldn’t do it either. Guess I’ll just have to let the burgeoning grays continue to fill in. 🤷‍♀️

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        • I don’t have a lot of gray, just enough to be dingy if left to grow out. I keep hoping they come up with some gentle enough for colored hair. I had one about 5 years ago. It worked out well (just did the top part) but there was some frizz so I had to condition. I was happy though.

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  17. Hoping the best for you wtih the new treatment for dry eyes!
    I just went to the hair salon yesterday wtih hope! Fortunately I was rewarded. But yes I have had my unfortunate hair experiences as well!!
    UGH on the contractor, so frustrating! Hoping that it can be finished sooner than he says and you can say good riddance to him!
    We surely do need HOPE for so many things in this world today. Good luck shopping! Sounds like you deserve to find some great deals!

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  18. I suspect that most of us are hopeful; even when a specific event or time makes us feel hopeless, we still hold onto hope. I know I have hope inside me, but I tend to approach almost everything with a dismal look at the onset. I tend to tell myself to focus on what could be the worst outcome of something, telling myself that, if it happens, I’m prepared and if it doesn’t happen, that’s just luck. “Expect the worst, that way you will never be disappointed” is a motto and mantra I use. About the only thing I don’t worry about is my hair – it’s me who convinces my stylist whenever I’m interested in trying something new, it will always grow back if I’m not happy.

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    • Maybe a decade or so ago, I got a lot less stressed about hair cuts. It grows out. My hair does what it does no matter what the cut so I always end up looking like me. Sometimes my hair is a little shorter and sometimes a little longer. I agree with prepare for the worst so you’re not disappointed. Somehow I let a silver tongued contractor sweet talk me into unrealistic expectations.

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  19. Ugh. So sorry to read about your contractor woes. I had a great contractor back in Ontario. Even if he did try to get me to “accept JC as my lord and saviour” in a very dramatic announcement one day. He was so good at his job that I forgave him that breach of manners. I’m looking down the barrel of a renovation summer and hoping the tradespeople I will be dealing with are professional (and not looking for converts).

    Deb

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    • At this point, I can be converted (that’s how desperate I am!) My kitchen carpenter was great so there is hope. I wish you the absolute best. One of our neighbors had an even worse (at least at this point) experience. He put a simple sunroom on the back of his hour. It took too years and he had to fire the first contractor. He contracted with subs directly himself but that’s a slow process when you don’t have the connections.

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  20. At least a wheelbarrow is needed for summer shopping these days! Dressing rooms are closed and inventory is low.

    I am sorry about your deck. Contractors are indeed a seedy lot. Like used car salesmen with tools.

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  21. Your experience with the new eye doctor seems…dare I say it…hopeful. I’ll continue to keep my fingers crossed new treatment will help your condition. Good luck.

    As for the deck contractor, I ‘hope’ there’s a special place in hell for him. I’ve seen this same MO play out with friends and I can’t wish more unpleasant things upon these people. I guess it’s a sign of old age to say “I remember when people honored their work commitments and had integrity about doing a job well.” Nobody seems to care about their work product any more, and it’s no wonder supply chains are messed up-no one wants to actually work. They just want the payday. Everyone seems to feel overly entitled without having any merit. Sigh.

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    • When I write the post on contractors (AFTER this project is complete) it will be an eye opener. I learn a lot by listening and a rambling contractor trying to placate an unhappy client says some pretty incredibly stupid things. I am hopeful for the eyes. It can’t be cured but if I can manage it better, I’ll be happy. The anti-inflammatory drugs have done wonders and I’ve only been on them for 2 days.

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  22. Love this post with respect to hope and ordering it up… 🙂 I feel like the supply chain for my hope is being clogged or directed some place else. Couldn’t I find a BOGO?! I sort of figured your contractor was cheating on your deck with someone elses job. What makes the other job so special I have to wonder. I am sorry, Kate. Excited about your HOPE for help for your dry eyes… fingers crossed. With the clothes you are looking for and the time of year, I would think a quart would do 🙂

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    • The other job is for the brother-in-law of a code inspector. He considers it a “favor” but I wonder if they are any happier than I am with a half day’s work. Had he worked full time here he would have been done a few weeks back and full-time on the other job. Common sense isn’t very common. Now he’s complaining about the gas prices (of running to two different places plus Home Depot every day). Not my monkey.

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  24. I’ve been so lucky with a contractor here, who schedules his time wisely, comes when he says he will, finishes when he says he will or early. He’s our age and will retire sooner than we’d like him to and I dread that. We’ve been very spoiled. I hope your hope in the new eye stuff pans out. After so many years of discomfort what a pleasure it would be for all of that to improve, even if your deck doesn’t quickly enough.

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    • Thanks. My kitchen carpenter was much easier to work with and he would be my first go to for any other jobs. Unfortunately he’s 65 so I’m not sure how long he will continue. He has a bum knee too. He doesn’t like decks so I didn’t ask about our job. I should have gone with a deck company. They do it all the time so it would have been done quickly.

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