I’ve lost that loving feeling…

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When I was young a day at the mall would perk me up. I didn’t need to buy anything but trying on fancy dresses and shoes I’d never wear was fun. Maybe it’s the child in me dressing up.

Fast forward a decade and it’s not cutting it for me. Shopping in general has changed. With so many people buying on-line, stores carry less merchandise. Most of it is not in my size. The pickings are slim. I recently attempted to “treat” myself to a mall excursion with the promise of food at the end. It didn’t work.

Underwear – I thought I’d stock up on my regular style. Most of the ladies underwear doesn’t cover your butt. Considering the tiny scraps of fabric they use, the per pound price rivals gold. I’d go commando before I pay that but I did find three pair of my favorite granny ones. (No they aren’t those nylon baggy ones but I’m sure the younger generation who wear butt floss would classify mine as grannies.)

Sleepwear – I wear the same sleepwear year round, changing my bedding for the seasons. A long time ago I would switch to flannel nightgowns but in these days of sudden heat flashes, a flannel nightgown can’t be thrown off like a fleecy throw can. Sadly at this time of year it’s all long sleeved fleecy or flannel night clothes that’s available. I must make a note to stock up in the spring.

Sweatshirt – A fresh one or two every winter is fun. I was looking for something that didn’t yell old lady (those would be the ones with kittens and teapots on them). My choice was absolutely plain or else the designer’s name on the side of my body. You want to advertise on me, you play me royalties!

Tablets – No, that’s not the kind you write on but the electronic ones. It’s the new pacifier. I saw a mom with two kids in a stroller. The oldest was around 3 with the baby maybe 6 to 8 months, head erect but couldn’t walk. The oldest started to fuss so the mom popped a tablet in her hands to play. Yikes! It worked. All quiet but I’m not sure what she was looking at.

At the end of this trip, I didn’t feel refreshed. I foolishly treated myself to a hot dog (what was I thinking?) which gave me a bellyache. I should have had pizza, a cinnabon or a Starbucks. There won’t be another trip just for fun in my near future.

I’ve lost that loving feeling and it’s gone, gone, gone!

75 thoughts on “I’ve lost that loving feeling…”

  1. My first job and 2 afterwards were at malls. It cured me of ever thinking malls were pleasant. I welcomed the advent of online shopping as just a lovely expansion of my preference for catalog shopping. I’m sorry you’ve lost your joy in it though. It’s hard to find reliable sources of joy.

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  2. In my professional opinion, electronic do-dads
    , especially those that focus on attainment of material matters, winning approval or high scores, tend to interfere with identity production in tweens and adolescents. Things that light up and make noise are no big deal but those that deal with self-worth and fitting in can be destructive esp. when bullying in involved.

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  4. I agree with you and the others here, Kate. Malls and most any kind of shopping leaves me without joy. I think for me it’s the people… too peopley as you would say. I might be very happy shopping if I just had the mall to myself with no people or sales peeps. Too bad about the hot dog, I would have hunted down a Wendy’s Jr. cheeseburger.

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    • It’s probably both. They don’t do the wonderful displays anymore. Our local Macy’s (which I always loved) has gone with a new business plan. They have a discount area when you first walk in. It’s supposed to be discounted items they sell but it’s jammed together and looks like a KMart. Not near as classy anymore.

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  6. I have so much the same lack of feeling, Kate! I still enjoy going to my local independent bookstore, not in a mall, and that’s about the extent of my shopping enjoyment! And I’ve seen little ones in strollers with tablets, too. I can’t help but feel this is a bad sign, but I don’t think my opinion is going to count for much. 🙂

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    • If the woman hadn’t been on her own phone and had been paying attention and the child was still fussing, I would have felt better. Seems that she didn’t want to take the time to give her attention. Then again what do I know?

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    • My food tastes have changed drastically. Hot dogs don’t sit well with me and I know that. Don’t know why I tempted fate. Shopping was one of the things I could depend on to perk me up if I was down. Now I have to find something else. Cats!

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  8. I am totally with you Kate, on no loving feeling with shopping. I am trying to tackle some projects/chores around my house with a “reward” of possibly purchasing a new piece of clothing. The only thing that feels like a reward is a very comfortable sports bra. I have a few favourites that get significant use. A boring purchase and possibly TMI on a blog post. Any other shopping becomes a chore. Not a reward.

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  9. I know what you mean and now that I don’t work in public, there is no reason to dress up and I am very low maintenance. I’ve taken to buying men’s sweat pants or lightweight pants as they are tall enough (I hate waiting for the floods pants). The pants are sized wrong or I am sized up as my favorite style (same as yours, not granny panties, but not butt floss panties either) don’t fit like they did, but are the same size. I walked in the mall a few years ago, because I got to Best Buy too early – it held no appeal. And I used to love walking around the mall with my mom – she on a cane and in later years, we got a portable wheelchair to get around effortlessly. We’d pass scent after scent of wonderful food – Mrs. Fields’ Cookies, Cinnabon, the Coffee Beanery (long before Starbucks set up shop there) and Hot Sam’s Pretzels. That was without going into the food arcade … sadly all gone. Might as well make Jeff Bezos richer, save the gas and wear and tear on your car going to the mall.

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  12. I am out in the country where any excitement comes from the forest primeval. So, a shopping trip is still something to look forward to. I have to drive an hour to reach any mall so my lady friends and I make a day of it and there is never enough time (or energy) to enjoy. Come stay with me a week and I promise you will crave even a dying mall. 😊

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  14. Tablets have become the millennium pacifier and not just for babies. I confess, I snorted chai out of my nose with the term butt floss. LOL, actually since underwear doesn’t cover anyway and the fact that they ride up, ‘floss’ isn’t that uncomfortable. Just have to remember to pull them down in the middle of the night. They’re practically weightless.

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  15. My Mum loved to shop & it was a regular Saturday treat to go out for the day. I followed her practice until I started to live alone again and found I really needed to downsize, as I have not just everything I need, but too much of it. I enjoy an occasional solo outing window shopping, more so when it’s quiet and I can fit in a break for coffee & cake or a light lunch. Otherwise, it’s a quick in & out for the crowds make it an unpleasant experience for me.

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  16. I hate shopping and they never have my size, which is why I stick with mens joggers and tees as a rule. Would love to find a nightie, teapot, ducks or otherwise that fitted regardless. Used to do it all by mail order, but that’s not quite the same as buying on line, especially when I’m not sure what size I am now anyway.

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  18. The only time I’ve ever enjoyed shopping is at the grocery store. Clothing shopping is a nightmare, especially when your entire wardrobe needs an update! Gift shopping is easily done online. I haven’t been inside an actual mall in at least 10 years, and it may well be another 10 before it happens again!

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  19. I know this is practically sacrilege but I’ve never enjoyed shopping. Maybe because I worked in retail for 20 years! But I go to the story (brick or online) for what I am looking for, buy it if possible, and leave.

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    • Sadly that will be my future mission. No dawdling or fondling merchandise. When I worked, we dressed up so shopping was fun! Now if I buy anything but jeans or yoga pants, I have no wear to wear them. (Well I could but don’t want to! 🙂 )

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  20. I was shocked the first time I saw a two year old with a tablet in their tiny hands. A year later this same kid would yell “Broken!” upon receiving a stuffed bear – because it didn’t light up or make sounds or doing anything that required software or batteries. The parents and grandparents thought this was the most hilarious thing they’d ever heard, but I was aghast.
    Malls are pretty sad these days. I was at the mall in the summer and it looked like a ghost town. I was there again on a rainy fall Sunday and there were many more people milling about but still nothing like the good (?) ol’ days of malls. Like downtowns, they appear to be dying.

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    • Many or our smaller local malls are gone. The mall where I walk isn’t doing so great and I hear the local hospital is moving in for office space. When I was a kid going shopping with my mom was a real treat followed by a trip to the soda fountain.

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  21. Children and tablets are so stupid. (and pediatricians hate them) I’ve seen some very stylish young moms with tiny babies in hallways chatting after dropping off toddlers at stylish, high quality preschool with a fussy infant in stroller. Mom kept shoving a tablet with perky cartoon character in front of kid, propping it up against the stroller wall. Infant kept scowling, kicking the tablet over and desperately reaching for mom who didn’t see. It was disturbing. I always tell Youngers, “don’t have kids until you’re ready for it – the are demanding and the first years 1-4 are the greatest time for brain development – so you have to give up yourself and focus fo several yearsto helping a decent human being emerge and develop” I would have hated if anyone told me that, but experience and being in research documents the reality. Sigh.
    Shopping for clothes has become a chore now. Sick of the sales pitches on clothing – ugh. At least found underwear brand on Amazon. Websites like LandsEnd and LL Bean usually have knit sleepwear? Sleep wear is important!

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    • Big fan of both Lands End and Bean (sadly our local Lands End store is closing). I tried a Lands End gown but it was cut skimpier than I like. I don’t like my legs getting tangled up. I tried Soma and love the fabric but it’s a tad short. I should try the long ones but I may end up shortening those. Just want something easy peasy. About the tablet — Wow, just wow! BTW mom was on phone whole time.

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    • This is the youngest I’ve seen. I couldn’t see what was on the tablet that interested the child. Maybe a puzzle or just pictures but I was surprised. I know they have them for young kids but this one was really young.

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  24. I am not a shopper. I worked in a mall during high school and college, and I think that cured me. I live pretty close to a massive mall and hardly ever go. Not sure I even know where some stores are.

    The internet is great, but sometimes you have to try on clothes. Especially nice ones– even if you hate shopping. I have a conference this week where I have to wear something nicer than yoga pants and plain shirts. I spent five hours shopping and it was exhausting.

    Nice to have “real” clothes again. I’m amazed at how comfy dress pants have become, too. Now, if only they had pockets!

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    • Today’s fabrics are more forgiving (fancy word for stretchy) and comfortable. They wash well and usually drape nicely. I’m not fond of geometric prints which are big now and some of the muddy colors but there are nice clothes around. I always try to have a funeral dress and a wedding dress (to attend someone else’s) on hand. Shoes are annoying. I’ve stopped keeping a current dress style on hand as they go out of style quickly. I have nicer sandals or I go to DSW before an event. I won’t buy clothes on the internet unless I know they fit (as in I already have a pair just like them). Enjoy your conference.

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    • My shopping interests have changed too. Costco is good but I also like the “activewear” clothing (fancy name for stretchy yoga pants) but I don’t need anything! Still on the lookout for a sweatshirt that is “interesting.”

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  26. I’m not a mall fan either….many years ago I loved spending my “Christmas shopping time” in a mall – the atmosphere, the Santa and little kids, the music, the hustle and bustle. I haven’t been in a mall of any size in forever. I admit to doing a lot of my shopping these days online. I’m so much more careful when I buy clothes though – I make SURE it fits and I like it. I’m constantly amazed by the lines of “returners” in stores. Anyway, even promising myself a lunch treat doesn’t get me to a mall and rarely to a store. I prefer shopping here in my office online then going down to raid the refrigerator. Easier on my old back, legs, and feet too!!!!

    Hugs, Pam

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    • I’m getting more like you everyday. If you read my comment on my purse dilemma the other day, you know I was looking for a new “winter” purse. Someone suggested I see if my current pink one comes in black and it does. And in a beautiful burgundy shade. However, I have to go to the mall or buy $20 of stuff for free shipping. What to do? What to do?

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  27. I wonder about the stores at the mall, too. I realize that most of them are trying to lure a young demographic, but considering the young demographic shops online more often than in a store it seems like a bad business model to me. Offer basics to an older demographic who is accustomed to going to the mall, make money. That’d make sense and cents, but *hey* who am I… only the woman with the time and money to go shopping at the mall. 🙄

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