Hope is a beautiful thing. It’s what makes you believe that you will get a different outcome. Every time I go for a haircut I am hopeful.
First the background — I’m a terrible client. Since I’m retired, I don’t get haircuts regularly. I let my hair grow, then I cut it off. I try different things but what I want, not what the stylist wants. I also have hard-to-style hair. It’s fine and soft and wavy, but not uniformly wavy.
My mother cut hair and I know enough to cut my own…sort of. I get a haircut when the back section gets unruly because even though I am a magician, I’m not a contortionist. I can’t cut my back hair properly (that doesn’t mean I don’t try!).
Over the years I have had some great stylists. Often they get locked into a style and I can’t get them out of it. Then I move on. Or maybe they move on. There are stylists I’d go back to if I wanted that style. They do a great short haircut or a great bob but I can’t seem to get them to switch gears on my head. I’ve also had great success with a razor cut especially for layers in the back but many stylists don’t like to do them.
That brings you to now — After many, many months, I got a professional haircut. Every time I go I learn something new. I am sharing some phrases that didn’t work for me this time.
“I’m letting my hair grow.” That means nothing. Wop, wop, wop and there is at least four months of painstaking growth lying on the floor. That one section that is hard to grow out? Cut off. On the floor. *tears well up in eyes*
“A layered bob with soft layers so the hair doesn’t get too weighed down on top.” Also means nothing. There is no bob. I have a traditional older woman haircut with close cut layers near the neck. It has a little bit of a mullet look to it too.
“I don’t wear it straight. I like waves and movement.” I love that word movement but obviously it means nothing to anyone else. My hair always gets blown perfectly straight. After a spritz of spray (that I don’t want), I have helmet head. Womp, womp.
For this disappointment I pay big bucks. Haircuts have gotten expensive. I can disappoint myself for free. Without an appointment! (Maybe I’ll try a blue streak on top. That’s sure to disappoint!)
Stylists are like food servers. You never want to get them angry when they have a scissors in their hands. If you tick them off, you will pay! Just for the record (and so you don’t think I’m completely nuts) the first three haircuts she gave me were awesome. Maybe I’m more annoying than I think.
Thirty or forty years ago, this would have been the end of the world. Now it’s like a bug bite. After a week I will figure out how to style it and vow to regrow it. All will be right with the world. There are other things to be annoyed about!
BTW I deleted that stylist from my phone book.