Empty nest syndrome? Or just plain melancholy?

doorThe weather is beautiful and the social life is good. So why am I melancholy? Maybe because the neighbor moved out and I miss the people activity next door. (This may ruin my reputation of hating people.) Maybe life just seems too perfect? (When will the next disaster happen?) Maybe I’m just nuts. (Perhaps we should go with that.)

Or maybe I’m just in a loss mode so let me wallow a bit.

I was going through my WordPress reader/followers and some of my earliest blogging friends are no longer around. They are not posting. There was no goodbye. I don’t know why. It’s like an unfinished story.

Some people start a blog without realizing the time it takes. Yes, it can suck up a bit of time.

Maybe they run out of ideas? (Really, there are enough stupid people out there to last a lifetime of posts!)

Perhaps they take up other hobbies. (There are hobbies other than blogging? What are they?)

There was a cranky old guy who wrote the funniest posts about people. He made me look like Mother Theresa! Gone. I often wonder if he died or was axed by someone.

I had a blogger BFF in Bermuda who painted her stories with island life and glorious pictures. I know she’s around. She’s just not posting. Another blogger moved from one state to another and she went silent.

Some of the bloggers who started around the time I did are just not posting as frequently. OMG! They got a life! Not allowed!

I have been posting just shy of two years and it’s amazing how strong the connections feel. It’s like I really know you. It’s as if you live next door!

All is not glum. When I lose someone, a new blogger comes along. There is a wonderful crop of writers out there right now that I just love to read. They write really good stuff. They teach me lessons. They make me cry or giggle and spit coffee out my nose. We all know that’s the ultimate sign of a good post.

It’s that old saying “a door closes and another one opens” but sometimes, just like losing old neighbors, there is a sense of loss that you feel as the door shuts.

Then there are some friends you just can’t replace.

Clipart courtesy of bestclipartblog.com via Google

 

32 thoughts on “Empty nest syndrome? Or just plain melancholy?

  1. Who could walk away from that kitty face?
    It is hard to find kindred spirits
    (those “suggestions” in the sidebar? What? You think I’d like this one? What are they thinking? I do better bouncing off blogs I read regularly)
    Some bloggers I follow have stepped back for several reasons: kids home for summer, vacations, moving, working on a book or art work or new job – those you can understand and hope they return when able – and are glad when the peek in on your posts.
    But some talented ones – MIA – no explanation. A couple who sounded really really down, I emailed and that was OK. But I hesitate to do that.
    Maybe when setting up a blog it would be nice if WP asked for a “a blog on pause” post that would automatically go up in 4-6 week, and a “bye” post that would be triggered after 6 months?
    WP probably wouldn’t like the possibility that a blogger would stop,
    Paw waves and hello’s from here (it’s summer, I write and read when I can – a bit off schedule)

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  2. I miss the ones who slip away and feel a lurch when someone announces that they intend to.

    Like you, I’ve found a community in the blogging world. And, like you, as we get older, I think we feel the pinch more when a wonderful connection is lost — real life next door or real life via our blogging world.

    I’ve learned so much and don’t have any intention of stopping – and I hope you feel the same way 🙂

    MJ

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    • I am posting more frequently (at least at the moment) than I was when I started. I find it easier to find topics and fun to write. If I could redo my career, I would do something that included much more writing (other than policies and employee scoldings). You are someone that became a “bestie” recently. There are a ton of wonderful writers out there but not everyone appeals to all. It’s hard to find kindred spirits and they are really special when you do. I love WordPress’s suggestions that are on the reader but they rarely pan out.

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      • I agree; I would have written more, too. Yesterday was a really good day at work. Why? Because instead of just putting out one fire and moving to the next, I had a whole afternoon to write a synopsis of something. Others would have cringed; I settled in a loved it 🙂 I know you “get” it.

        Agreed on the WP suggestions … some work out but many don’t. Thanks for the “bestie” shout-out .. I feel the same about you!

        MJ

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  3. Kate, I’ve felt this way, too. A few of my blogger friends have stopped posting. One, who helped me when I got started, I really miss and hope that he will return to writing his blog. I do wonder what happened to a few others. Not having closure … does leave me up in the air. They should do what Dylan Thomas said “Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” In other words, please write and let me know that you’re all right.

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  4. When I started blogging, I had a very light schedule – an anomaly. Now, I’m posting once a week, but still reading and commenting when I can. You are one of the blogs I always read. 🙂

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  5. It’s a strange new world we’re living in. A few years ago 3 or 4 of my industry peers retired all at the same time. Yes, I knew what happened to them, but…I kept reaching for the phone to call them for lunch or see if they were going to an association event. Nothing felt the same.

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  6. Blogger friends who disappear are like mysteries with no endings. And even when they let you know they are going, the partings are painful. You are so right about the sense of loss Kate, and the questions about what could possibly replace blogging. The problem at my age is, I keep losing real live (not that bloggers aren’t live) people – the friends of a lifetime who ratified my existence. Maybe that’s why we are sad. With each loss, online or off, there are fewer folks who know and understand us.
    “This too shall pass,” and there is joy to follow and new horizons. That’s what Mom always said.

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    • Losing a close friend is much harder than a blogger friend. With a blogger you can fantasize that something wonderful happened. Maybe they won the lottery (and why didn’t they tell us???) or are on a whirlwind year long vacation. You can’t do that when you attend a funeral.

      I know you lost a close friend recently. I have been lucky in the past few years and haven’t lost anyone real close. However, I had my old boss and a co-worker from the 1990s dies last fall and I felt that loss for a while despite the fact that I didn’t see them much.

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  7. I started blogging about four years ago (on my first blog) and almost all of the community I became involved in and loved is no longer around, except for three. One is still true to who they’ve always been (and I totally applaud her for that), one has become so focused on monetizing that every post is a “review” of some product and the third now has an assistant that writes their posts.

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  8. I so know what you mean! There is one blogger I follow that posted faithfully until January of this year and then nothing now for 6 months. I alreadly sent a little “Hope all is well” comment, but still nothing. Sigh. I don’t want to look like a stalker but I so want to beg for an update!

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  9. I agree with you. My first instinct is always to wonder if they are ok. And then I give my head a shake and figure they’ve just stopped blogging because of the amount of time it takes, or because they can’t be bothered figuring what to write about. They get bored with it, or run out of steam. It would be nice if they Gave us a heads up and wrote one final ‘so long’ post but they don’t. Now that you’e made me think about it, I wonder why they just slink off. Maybe that’s a post ?

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  10. I’m one of those bloggers that once posted fairly regularly, and now my posts have trickled down to a meager little stream that is gasping for moisture. Why? Complicated. Life, and the reasons behind why I seem to blog less. But I understand that feeling of being lonely for someone / something that once helped you make sense of your day. It isn’t that you can’t continue on your merry way, it’s just that you miss that spark of interesting repartee that sprinkled sunshine into your life. After all, we can all use a little extra sunshine these days. 🙂

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    • But you told us what was going on and all about the changes in your life so I know you are ok. I do miss your witty commentary and your emotionally intensive posts. I am hoping you’ll post more when you’re ready.

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  11. Sometimes I am content to allow the water to flow over the dam and out of sight . . . other times I want to chase individual droplets downstream, screaming “Come Back!”

    Maybe the Super Moon is making us melancholy?

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  12. So true, it does feel terrible when someone stops blogging that you feel you had really become close to. It’s amazing how close these relationships feel. And, yes, I think you’re probably nuts – which, by the way, is a good thing in my eyes 🙂

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