I love wildlife. I have been trying to coax critters to my pond since it was completed three years ago. I bought eight fish and now I have 40 so the pond must have some romantic aspects to it.
Although it’s small, I tried hard to incorporate little nooks and crannies where things could cuddle, make-out and hide eggs – just like in high school (except for the egg part). You know — like under the bleachers and in the back hallway. I even planted a shrub that would cover a small part of the pond so you couldn’t see what was going on. Think of it as a drive-in movie without the movie. Fish don’t watch movies anyway.
In any case I was very successful with the fish. In fact, I have started lecturing them on birth control. My pond ideally holds 15 fish according to those charts they have in pond stores. I have forty. Everyone seems happy and no one is sick or nipping at each other so what’s the big deal.
That happened because I bought a slut-fish. When I selected the fantails, there was one that was more gold than the others (fantails are fancy goldfish with fluffy fins). She wiggled more. I didn’t get it at the time but she is a big time slut. The first spring she had every fish following her. Stupid me — I didn’t realize what was going on. I wanted to scoop her out and put her in a tank for a couple of hours a day so she could get some rest. Well, she didn’t want rest! She spawned and spawned and spawned……and that is how I got from eight to 40 fish.
I encouraged snails and frogs too. In fact, I have purchased tadpoles each year hoping that they will metamorph (btw spellcheck says this isn’t a verb. that’s just wrong!) into wonderful frogs happily eating insects around my pond. After 15 plus tadpoles, I have two frogs who are currently courting. I have no idea where the rest went. Unlike children who frequently come home to roost, most of my frogs took off for greener pastures (or ponds).
After my experience with Goldie the slut-fish, I wasn’t expecting any courting. I thought these pond critters just get down to business and do it. I have been watching their behavior for three weeks and there has been no copulation that I have seen (and believe me I am a voyeur so I have watched – with binoculars! I hope that doesn’t upset the neighbors…).
I was thinking of laying some issues of Playboy around the pond for inspiration along with a little wine and cheese. How about some rose petals artistically tossed in the pond?
Let’s get some mojo going here! Teenage strangers have sex faster than these two.
If there is a lesson here, I’m not getting it. Maybe there is a book, “Frog Sex for Dummies?”