Throw back Tuesday — Hair!

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This is a picture I occasionally use. Never get the cut.

This post is from 2018 but nothing has changed since then.

Hope is a beautiful thing. It’s what makes you believe that you will get a different outcome. Every time I go for a haircut I am hopeful.

First the background — I’m a terrible client. Since I’m retired, I don’t get haircuts regularly. I let my hair grow, then I cut it off. I try different things but what I want, not what the stylist wants. I also have hard-to-style hair. It’s fine and soft and wavy, but not uniformly wavy.

My mother cut hair and I know enough to cut my own…sort of. I get a haircut when the back section gets unruly because even though I am a magician, I’m not a contortionist. I can’t cut my back hair properly (that doesn’t mean I don’t try!).

Over the years I have had some great stylists. Often they get locked into a style and I can’t get them out of it. Then I move on. Or maybe they move on. There are stylists I’d go back to if I wanted that style. They do a great short haircut or a great bob but I can’t get them to switch gears on my head. I’ve also had great success with a razor cut especially for layers in the back but many stylists don’t like to do them.

That brings you to now — After many, many months, I got a professional haircut. Every time I go I learn something new. I am sharing some phrases that didn’t work for me this time.

“I’m letting my hair grow.” That means nothing. Wop, wop, wop and there is at least four months of painstaking growth lying on the floor. That one section that is hard to grow out? Cut off. On the floor. *tears well up in eyes*

“A layered bob with soft layers so the hair doesn’t get too weighed down on top.” Also means nothing. There is no bob. I have a traditional older woman haircut with close cut layers near the neck. It has a little bit of a mullet look to it too.

This is similar to what I got.

“I don’t wear it straight. I like waves and movement.” I love that word movement but obviously it means nothing to anyone else. My hair always gets blown perfectly straight. After a spritz of spray (that I don’t want), I have helmet head. Womp, womp.

For this disappointment I pay big bucks. Haircuts have gotten expensive. I can disappoint myself for free. Without an appointment! (Maybe I’ll try a blue streak on top. That’s sure to disappoint!)

Stylists are like food servers. You never want to get them angry when they have a scissors in their hands. If you tick them off, you will pay! Just for the record (and so you don’t think I’m completely nuts) the first three haircuts she gave me were awesome. Maybe I’m more annoying than I think.

Thirty or forty years ago, this would have been the end of the world. Now it’s like a bug bite. After a week I will figure out how to style it and vow to regrow it. All will be right with the world. There are other things to be annoyed about!

BTW I deleted that stylist from my phone book.

53 thoughts on “Throw back Tuesday — Hair!”

  2. NEVER HAVE I EVER had a good haircut. My wavy everywhere but the back bottom that is kinky curly, is fine and grows absurdly slow has never been trimmed. It’s been chopped, it’s had angles around my face that are opposite the angle everyone wants. I watch a guy on insta, Cyrl Cymru and dream of someone in our small town learning to trim hair like that. Although maybe there is – the last time I paid to have it trimmed was Nov 2019.

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  3. Boy do I relate to this saga of hair and hair stylists. I have let mine grow quite a bit so that I can pull it back and plop a hat on it much of the time. I think I’ve given up on style!

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    • I love braids. My mother’s oldest sister wore braids wrapped around her head. It was in the old German tradition. My mom, ever the rebel, cut her hair short at a young age and kept it short. I wore a French braid for work for a while back in the 90s but now I keep it too short for that.

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  8. I’m thinking of going to a stylist in the fall. I’ve been trimming my own hair, but I want the same length back and front and can’t get the back to match myself. Like you, I learned from my mom. She always cut my hair and other family members too.

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  9. My stylist is awful, but she is the cheapest around. I guess I get what I pay for. When I get a color, I have a 1-inch strip of black on my forehead for days.

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  10. My hair is stick straight. In 1976, I got a perm from a friend of the family as a belated birthday present. She was a hairdresser (or so she said). She did such an abysmal job, I cut my hair off to just below my chin to get rid of all the frizzy ends. My hair was long when I graduated HFCC, two months later I had it all cut off (drastic for me as I loved having long hair). I immediately started growing it back again and I’ve kept it long ever since.

    In recent years, I had a great hair stylist. I went to a small place, owned by a husband and wife. I loved what Jill did to my hair – she cut it in long layers which blended together and helped give it body and hold a curl. She did some soft highlights which looked natural, but then in 2019 she told me I needed lowlights along with the highlights instead of subtle highlights as I was getting older. When she finished I looked like a tiger with dark brown and blond streaks. I told her I looked awful, then I never went back and the layers and funky-looking colors have grown out and now I cut it myself … it looks it, but most of the time, if I’m outside, my hair is either under a hat or up in a bun and in a high ponytail in the house. It’s not super long, but long enough. I am getting some sprinkles of gray but if I go all gray, I don’t know if I want to have long hair.

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    • Couldn’t you have told her you didn’t like it and didn’t want it done like that again and continue with haircuts? I have some gray on my sides but I color it myself. It’s not a lot. My hair is a sandy color and it would not look good with gray stripes. I’d look like dishwater!

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      • She said she would have to strip the color out and it would make my hair colors look bad … I said “it looks bad now!” Then it was COVID so they closed the shop almost a year. He had back surgery and now they only open the shop if they have an appointment. It’s closed the rest of the time. My hair is a mousy brown now and I was so angry with what she did and the other perm, I just gave up on trying someone new. But I don’t think I like the look of long hair that’s all gray.

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        • I had a great stylist in the 90s but he died. He was in his 50s but had diabetes and it was a bad case. Eventually he developed congestive heart failure. He did all the healthy and alternative stuff in addition to treatments and he still died within a year or two. Great stylist though. He was featured in Good Housekeeping.

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          • That’s unfortunate. I had hoped I’d grow old with Jill doing my hair as she was about 10 years younger than me. My mom’s hairdresser trained in France many decades ago and took courses by Jheri Redding, who was not famous at the time, but made his mark in the world by founding Redken Hair Products later. The stylist learned not just cutting/styling, but hair care as well and she worked until her late 80s in her own salon. She told me the best thing for my long hair to keep it shiny was to give it a mayonnaise treatment once a month. My mom had to help me get the mayo out of my long hair, but the egg yolks were beneficial and I’d rinse it afterward with straight vinegar and hope for no humidity or rain. My hair did shine, but I was also young.

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  11. I hear ya. I cut my own hair until the back gets entirely out of control. I attempt the back, but then get cowed into going to the stylist by my co-workers laughing at my hack job. But I don’t pay the big bucks. I got to Great Clips or Supercuts. And I’m not even consistent in which one I go to. Possibly the only good thing about getting old is that I no longer obsess about how I look. I shoot for being clean and dressed. I don’t even blow dry my hair. I comb it and go. I used to get my nails and toes done. I got highlights and paid for my stylist’s house with my cuts. I put on the full face of makeup. My hair – the tools and product and TIME I spent on it. Now – nada. Dressed and clean. Only requirements.

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    • I’d like the time back for all the makeup too! I loved getting dressed up (required for my job) but now I can’t remember the last time I wore it. I can’t wear eye makeup because of my dry eye. I use a tinted sunscreen and call it a day.

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      • There are times I think about having it all cut off in this heat, then remember what a pain it is to keep tidy when it’s short. I have (had maybe now) a double crown, the left side always frizzes and doesn’t do what I want it too no matter how much teasing I do with a dryer and mousse, and that in itself is a pain I can do without anyway. Best hairstyle I ever had was a curly perm on short hair, and I just had to dampen my fingers and run them through to make it tidy. Two perms and two interim cuts a year fir years until I grew it out. Can’t afford the perm now and having one on long hair they charge so much an inch, so I’m looking at around £200. No chance.

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  13. I have given up on my hair. Had all kinds of problems BEFORE my gray hair started coming in and now my hair/head looks like a brillo pad. It’s a good thing I live in Florida where nobody cares or gives a hoot that you are wearing a visor or hat. Cloudy=hat, sunny=always a hat, raining=hat, windy=probably already had a hat on, nighttime=nobody over 60 goes out after 8 oh clock. I love my hats and visors. I have quite a collection. Hats and aviator sunglasses are the look😎

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  14. Gah!! I know exactly what you’re talking about. I explain what I want, always bring in a photo…go over the ‘lingo’ (layered bob with fringy bangs and then ask for confirmation, “does that make sense?” and go home depressed, light in the wallet and wondering if all hair stylists only understand Yugoslavian because English doesn’t seem to be their first language. Sigh. You have my sincerest sympathy.

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  16. Oh I feel your pain…..in this small town I had to settle for the woman who cut my husbands hair (that’s a clue that I’m in for trouble) for a couple of years before I decided to leave one salon for “something new”. Husband always looked sharp after his cuts so I said “why not”…….she doesn’t talk, she concentrates on what she’s doing – with military precision (not necessarily a good thing) and charges $29 for a haircut. I like short and easy now that I’m old and fussy. She can do that. I may not look stylish BUT my hair is manageable. At my age, I’ll take manageable. I’m still getting thin on top (my hair not my body) and nobody can help that but everything else is “acceptable”. Funny how “acceptable” becomes DESTINY but for me it has. (INSERT SIGH HERE).

    Hugs, Pam

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    • :) Haircuts that would have had me bawling for days are now a “it’s grow” moment. I don’t do well with short cuts because of my cowlicks. I need some weight on the hair to calm them down but not too much. I’m like Goldilocks. It’s got to be just right! I have neither the thickness of shaft or thick number of strands either. Fortunately, it’s manageable or I have adjusted my expectations. Take your pick.

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  17. I could have written that. I certainly SAY it to relatives and friends.

    I have shown pics, & spoken about what I REALLY want each time I go to the stylist..whom I like a lot personally. However, she always irons my naturally wavy hair straight. It spreads like a business end of a broom across my back. It looks like H-E-Double Hockey sticks! It (was until a week ago) down very close to the middle of my back. I wore it up. I am too old for hair that long. I got her to cut it back to just over shoulder length. I practically got on my knees to get her to curl it, not flat iron i, and finger style it- (the way I do at home). Most satisfied I’ve ever been with the look. I do it that way at home, but she just won’t listen. I came in there to show her, showed pictures, but I got trapped there because I like her personally. SIGH.

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    • I changed stylists within the past year. My last one was the best but her availability was low and her prices were high. Really high! I don’t want to wait 3 weeks for a haircut nor do I want to take out a loan to pay. The new one is more reasonable and does an ok cut. It’s her blowout that drives me crazy. Perfectly straight. I look like a six year old with wrinkles. I immediately go home and wash it out. I dread going for a cut because it all depends on the day the stylist is having.

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  18. Thanks for writing this post for me! I’m just the same. I’d rather disappoint myself for free than pay $60-$80 for a whack job. :D

    It’s been ages since I’ve had someone else cut my hair. Now, I just give it quick trims every couple of weeks and (most days) like how it looks.

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    • Thanks for the encouragement. I need a trim and I want to do it myself. I used to cut it all the time but I’m less agile and don’t have the confidence. I’ve never been a “routine” client for a hairdresser. I’m always changing the length of my hair.

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