In a way I’m still recovering from my auto accident in early July. Not my body. That recovered a while back. It’s my head that that I can’t wrap around everything related to driving.
Digging deep, I am very disappointed in myself. There were six ways from Sunday (when was the last time you heard that idiom?) that I could have avoided the collision but in the moment, I couldn’t pull it together. Cars are big killing machines.
There is a part of me that blames aging. If I was younger I would have had a faster reaction time (maybe). My synapses would have been snapping and reflexes good. I could have avoided the severe damage to my beloved car. In my head I know looking back is useless except to find lessons. So how do I become younger? Sharper? Faster? Compensate with more careful driving?
I love the new car. The safety advances between a 2014 and a 2021 are amazing. My car will stop if it senses a front end collision and it works. It will pull the car back in a lane if it drifts. The back-up camera is wonderful. My old one bordered on being useless. There was almost always a glare that made seeing difficult, especially when you needed it most. The new one looks like a movie screen and angled for perfect vision in any weather.
The beeping has become my friend. I know where to look for the problem. At the beginning every time it beeped I was sure death was imminent. I could see angels coming.
Even with all these safety features I get nervous sliding in the driver’s seat. People have said that it gets better and maybe it does. It’s almost four months in the rearview and it hasn’t yet.
Another unexpected side effect is that I get nervous when anyone else drives. I brake for them. I steer for them. I am a delightful passenger as I remind them they are going 2.4 miles over the speed limit. I’m just a joy to be around!
Everything is getting intense because of the shorter days. Driving at night is worse. The bears have the right answer. Time to hibernate.