Seriously, that’s the best title I could come up with.
Remember back in the old days when you were invited to something that had snacks or hors d’oeuvres there was always good food? I can barely remember that myself. Today you will find cheap crackers and cheese with grapes.
The cheeses are usually white American, yellow American, Velveeta and if it’s an upscale activity there will be a round of brie.
Perhaps many people (at least in the US) were raised on bland cheese but I wasn’t. My German-Austrian background introduced me to Muenster, Swiss, Gouda, emmentaler and bunch I can’t spell, early in life.
This past weekend I went to an art show. I had met the artist and his wife once before and knew they were great cooks but after all, it was an art show. I wasn’t expecting much in the way of food — maybe some wine and crackers.
There were the usual tasteless crackers (why do people think they need crackers to eat cheese?) but there were six different bricks of lusciousness thay ranged in color from lily-white to a pale mellow shade with black spots.
Expecting that these were varieties of American cheeses disguised as the real thing, I did a tasting. The first one blew me away. It was so stinky that it barely made it past my nose into my mouth. (Stinky wouldn’t stop me. I’m almost like a dog…I said almost! I don’t roll in poo!)
It was delightful. It hit my taste buds with a flavor that burst in my mouth. I moved to the one with black spots hoping it wasn’t a form of “blue” cheese (one of the very few I don’t like).
It was a truffle cheese that was smoky and earthy (that means it tasted a little bit like dirt). It was so strong that it would take over anything it was on or in. Not a fan. I needed a cracker to get the taste out of my mouth. (So that’s what the crackers are for…)
I moved quickly through the rest. There was a smoked Gouda and something else that I didn’t know. My guess is a Swiss derivative but definitely not Jarlsburg.
I asked a busy and harried hostess what the stinky one was. She answered into the trash can looking for the wrapping. With my hearing I couldn’t hear what she said nor did I want to trouble her to repeat it.
Locally we have a few great cheese shops but I worry what I would get if I ask for a nice stinky cheese.
Note: If you serve cheese at a function, put a card there saying what it is….unless it’s American or Velveeta. Most people can guess those. For those of you who love American and Velveeta, they are great in mac and cheese. No judgments.
Author’s note: We are having wonky (or intermittent) internet service. My desk top doesn’t get it but my Kindle and new lap top do. Can’t figure that out. We are waiting for a repairman who will show up between 8 a.m. and 9 p.m. (that’s the best they could pinpoint the time. I’m hoping it’s today. I’m sure this will end up in a post.