We have a family tradition and I am the standard-bearer. I take this responsibility seriously.
We screw something up at every food gathering.
It can be large…like forgetting to defrost the turkey.
It can be small…like lumpy gravy, burning the biscuits or forgetting special pickles.
My niece had a huge picnic and as everyone was leaving, I helped carry stuff into the house. The oven was on and there were 10 lbs. of smoked chicken legs warming in there. Never served. Oops!
I had a friend who dropped the entrée on the floor right before the guests walked in the front door. Pizza anyone?
Burning the biscuits was my mother’s favorite screw-up. She had timers up the wazoo but the problem is that the biscuits get done last. (Stay with me now. It’ll make sense in a minute…or not.)
You pop them in the oven while you are plating up stuff. You are right there. No need for a timer (and if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you!). By the time you get the mashed potatoes in the dish, gravy in the bowl, salad on the table and corn out, you can bet that the biscuits are turning from a golden brown to an ashy black.
You can’t cut the bottoms off either. (Tried that!) That burnt flavor goes through the whole damn thing and it doesn’t taste like smoked ribs either.
I am not as intrepid as my Mom. I set a timer. That doesn’t stop the screw-ups. I’m just starting new traditions.
At thanksgiving I served the entire meal plus coffee and dessert without the cranberry sauce. No one said anything (although they were wondering). This level of politeness doesn’t run in my family so I was stunned to open the fridge and find a beautifully plated cranberry sauce after everyone left.
We had a game night with sandwiches. Again it was after dessert when I found the plate of cheese lurking in the fridge. *bangs head on desk* Boogers!
Fortunately I stopped buying special stuff (that’s anything we don’t normally eat) for guests. I’ve been stuck with things we don’t eat too many times. The cheese is our favorite and we’ll eat it…eventually.
Easter is coming up. I can only guess at what I will forget for that. I love a good challenge.