I was the head bumble bee in my first grade play. I showed real talent. It was never developed…until now.
Not saying I’m the best but I can wiggle around with the best of them. So why not me?
I want to join “Dancing with the Stars.”
Beautiful costumes. Fun music. Fit body! Dance floor all to yourself!
I rarely know the competitors (stars? really? who are they?) so why not me?
That started me thinking (never a good thing). I should throw my name in the mix. (Do I need an agent for that?) I am as unknown as rest of the contestants.
It’s great exercise. It’s grueling. They talk about losing weight and getting fit. They also talk about injuries but let’s not focus on that just yet.
There is plenty of time later when you are at rehab whirlpool. (Is there a wine bar at the pool?)
Or in the nursing home. (You have to have stories to tell or they make you play cards!)
I don’t care who my partner is.
I don’t care if I win.
I would shave my legs for this! (Anyone have a machete I can borrow?)
I want to swoosh around and sashay in fringe and bling (no spanx please!). Maybe a “dos y do” or two. My partner would “dip” me and pull me through his legs. (Hope I don’t barf…so embarrassing.)
I could do it as well as some I’ve seen — better than the stiff ones, not as good as the ice skaters or gymnasts.
My goal is simple — stick around for a few weeks. Just enough to make new friends and enjoy the California sunshine.
The competition for this round includes a 21-year-old model, an Olympic gymnast, a football player, Pattie LaBelle, Suzanne Somers and a few others. Patti, Suzanne and I would be the elders but we can get the crowd behind us. Root for the underdogs with cellulite. Ok, maybe Suzanne doesn’t have cellulite but the rest of us do. Big time!
I need your support for this. It’s too late for this season but you never know when you’ll see me crop up in spandex and glitter. (I hear spandex stock just went up!)