And the pain goes on…(I promised you a series)

angry_smiley_Have you been hearing strange sounds? Forlorn crying? Perhaps loud swearing? Painful wailing as in childbirth?

For the past week I have worked on learning my new computer. It’s a noisy process that requires occasional bad words. Ok, maybe more than occasional.

Sometimes it requires a long break to fondle shoes or cats, anything but a piece of techie equipment.

There are always glitches.

My external backup system is not supported for Windows 8. Great! It’s only three years old and it’s obsolete. It hasn’t been backing up since May. It was purple. I had such high hopes for it.

My camera memory card doesn’t fit. My camera is an older model and now I need a cord to download directly from the camera. (That’s better than buying a new camera!)

I play FreeCell Solitaire for computer therapy. (No judgment please. It’s cheaper than Zoloft!) The new version stinks. It constantly asks if I want to upgrade. No! I want my old one back. I got it to stop making all the racket when I win a game. You would think I was in a casino.

Out of all the new things I have learned about W8, there are about five that I absolutely love and more than twenty that I absolutely hate. Maybe I can’t find what I’m looking for or maybe they did away with it. It’s hard to tell.

I figured out how to display my favorites bar in Internet Explorer. It’s so easy that I am embarrassed I didn’t figure it out sooner. Actually I didn’t figure it out at all. I googled it in a fit of rage. (Rage is the stage right before throwing the computer out the window.)

Google is my best friend. When I uploaded Windows 7, I used it at work where they did informal training on the new features and they gave us paper materials we could read.

Everything is on-line. I like to try something WHILE I’m reading the directions. That’s not easy with on-line directions. Sometimes I watch an informational video several times until I get it.

Most of my old files are downloaded but there is more work to do. I was able to load my current version of Photoshop without an upgrade. The printer synced up easily. (One thing I love is that I don’t have to download drivers. I don’t know why. Perhaps Microsoft has a chauffeur service?)

It even recognizes that the beloved husband has a computer nearby. It wants to sync up. I must have gotten the dating version. Time will tell if it’s the stalking version.

For me a new computer means nothing works the same. My favorite sites are questioning who I am.

My bank made me answer a list of questions similar to Homeland Security before giving me access. Can they see through the screen? Do I look different? Was my hair combed? What’s the deal here?

Windows 8 has stolen my snark and filed it away. I have to find it. Maybe I can google that.

Just a postscript: I am convinced every programmer at Microsoft is prepubescent. There is no way to increase the font size on the Outlook reading pane. I’m guessing it’s around 6 point.

 

 

32 thoughts on “And the pain goes on…(I promised you a series)

  1. My Mac is almost ten years old and believe me, needs an overhaul…I remember though what it was like. I had to get a geek over here to help me because I was weeping so.
    But you’re so smart and in a couple weeks it will be your best friend.
    Love the Homeland Security line. Very funny.

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  2. Oh dear, Kate. I don’t even want to think about it. I hope my computer lasts for a long, long time. Each new upgrade is harder than the last.

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    • Yep, yesterday Outlook crashed. 20 minutes with Microsoft only to find out they were going to charge me. 2 hours with Dell with someone who was so slow. We are good at the moment but don’t breathe too deeply.

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  3. Try this in Outlook – when in an email, hold down the shift button then scroll up or down – it will increase or decrease your font size :). Or maybe it’s the control. It’s one of the 2 – see I don’t remember now – but it works. And it’s the only way to “change” it.

    Hang in there, Tiger. Time for Starbucks methinks!!
    MJ

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    • sorry when I typed scroll I meant the roller ball on the mouse, not the scroll down or up button. If you roll that ball while holding down the other key it will visually enlarge (or not) the viewing of the font in Outlook — and yes I found this out by ACCIDENT 🙂

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      • That will work within an email. I was looking for something to enlarge the list of email messages prior to clicking on an individual one. Not sure if you can do that. Everything I’ve read says not but my appointment calendar doesn’t work so I will have to call Microsoft and will ask Bill myself. (What? He doesn’t answer the calls? How disappointing…) Thanks for your comments. I am happy for any suggestion even if it includes margaritas or lattes.

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  4. A friend of mine told me just today that she isn’t using her new computer at all…she plans to be ANOTHER one and hope it is better. I thought that was hilarious, but she told me she was completely giving up on the first one. I also Google my technology questions and most of the time I can eventually figure things out. I know you will, too, and before long you’ll have it humming. There just must be a way to increase the font size! When you figure that out, let us know. 🙂

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    • I know but you have to keep up or you will be lost in the dust. I need a short overview that might be held at a senior center or community college. I am usually pretty savvy about getting around but the time it’s been taking is outrageous.

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  5. A co-worker and I were just talking about this very thing today. We HATE online manuals! I understand they don’t want to waste paper…blah, blah, blah. With that being said, we still receive at least three useless phone books on our front porch each year. I feel your pain, Kate. You deserve a double shot Starbucks!

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  6. I feel your pain! And frustration!! I got a new laptop at Christmas – Windows 8 – And man, it came with so many changes I thought my head would burst. It didn’t take too long however – maybe a month – and I was zipping around on this baby and everything was working just great. I play Solitaire in the ‘XBox Games’ section, took me ages to find but was worth the wait. Now they constantly ask me if I want to upgrade to Windows 8.1 and I say no because I just KNOW there will be another month of angst accompanying THAT move!! Stick with it Kate, you’ll be fine 🙂

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  7. I’m jealous that you were able to keep Photoshop. When I upgraded a few years ago, my VERY EXPENSIVE Photoshop software became instantly obsolete. My new computer came with Elements, which appears almost as good, but I was still pretty ticked off. Stay strong and Google on.

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    • I don’t know what picmonkey is. My last computer (remember Vista?) had Photoshop already installed. When I did the Windows 7 upgrade it wasn’t compatible but I liked it so much that I bought the new version. It’s very easy to crop, adjust lighting, correct red eye and blemishes. I can also move objects on the photograph and do special effects, neither of which I have ever done. I am not a world class photographer so the lighting and correction is wonderful for me.

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      • My dad gave me Photoshop a few years ago, but it is so hard for me to use. Then I discovered Picmonkey online. You don’t download anything and it’s all so easy. You can only do a fraction of what you can with Photoshop but everything I used Photoshop for (except maybe changing extensions/types oops that’s gonna be a problem now that I HAVE A NEW COMPUTER haha) is on Picmonkey. Now how will I change stuff to jpg?

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        • There are 2 versions of PS, one for professionals ($$$) and a simpler cheaper one which is the one I have. Some programs let you pick your file extension when you “save as.” In PS I can save to Photoshop or a pdf, jpeg or png. There may be more (like raw file) but I don’t remember because I don’t use them. It’s just a click.

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  8. My thoughts are with you during these dark days of new computer ownership. I know that with time and love you’ll be able to come to terms with this computer that so far has left you snarkless– and adrift in a world without the right Solitaire game. Sending healing thoughts your way. 😉

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