After a hectic week, it’s good to be back focusing on more normal things like stupid people, shopping and where to get the best pizza.
I love pizza. I could live on it indefinitely and I did when I was much younger. My teeth did not fall out like Mom said it would. My hair is another story but I think that has more to do with hormones than pizza.
My addiction is really her fault as are most of my shortcomings. I didn’t have pizza until high school. (Hard to believe, isn’t it?) Then I went completely crazy. Do they have meetings for that?
There are a lot of pizza shops around here but they are not all good. Many make the pizzas at 6 a.m. and let them sit around until some unsuspecting customer comes in hours later. They heat it up and serve it. DiGorno is fresher!
In my book that’s leftovers. It’s no different from last night’s meatloaf and mashed potatoes except that those are stored in the refrigerator and the pizzas are stored on racks where people can sneeze on them.
Back in the old days, they baked fresh pizzas all day. Sometimes you had to wait until it came out of the oven…for the first time.
In addition to not being fresh, the heat-up process involves temperatures of 600 degrees. Do you know what kind of pizza burn that gives? I think they call it third degree! It’s routine for me to ask them not to overheat it. If the cheese is brown you are in big trouble!
Then there is the big debate – thin or thick. I don’t like cracker thin crust which is in vogue with creative toppings. If I want a cracker smeared with tomato sauce, I can make that at home for free.
I’m a bread person so I like a bite of starch with my overheated cheese and creative toppings. Not Sicilian style, but the “normal” hand tossed stuff. Creative toppings are good as long as they are not too weird. I need to be able to both pronounce and spell them before I want them on my pizza. And absolutely no anchovies! I swear they don’t clean the poop out of those little fishies.
Fortunately I married a man with the same taste. Since pizza is a staple in this house that could have been a deal breaker, just like cats. Gotta love cats!
I used to make it at home but for two people it’s too much work. I make a mean Chicago-style pizza but I need a crowd for that. A large crowd!
Of course I could open my own pizzeria. I would get up at 3 a.m. to be sure all the pizzas are made by 6 a.m.
Then I could go to Starbucks for breakfast! Sweet!