A very pathetic bucket list

Creating bucket lists has been a big deal for the past couple of years. No matter how hard I try I don’t come up with much.

I have no interest in jumping out of planes or climbing mountains. I have seen most places I’ve wanted to see. I traveled a lot in my younger days.

I have drawn, painted, rode horses, volunteered and did most things that people retire to do. I was a flower child too but that’s a whole post of it’s own.

Since I am not quite ready to die, I searched hard for some things that I would like to accomplish before my demise.

Here is my “bucket list.”

• Learn to open a pickle jar without spilling the juice all over my clothes. This is no small feat. I usually do this when company is almost at the door and the pickle juice adds a bit of “eau de pickle” to my perfume.

• Be more catlike. Did you ever watch a cat stretch out every muscle after they napped? I’d also like to feign nonchalance like they do after they have broken something expensive or their inclination to totally ignore boring people.

• Just once (well, maybe more than once) I’d like to pick the shortest checkout line. The one without the old slow people. (OMG! I’m almost one of them!)

• Live in a world without TV commercials. Sometimes they are so long that I forget what the show is about.

• Either that or learn how to use the DVR fast forward feature so I am perfectly on target when I bypass those pesky commercials.

• It would be fun to be a bartender at a beach bar where I can put umbrellas in the drinks and sing Jimmy Buffett songs. That wouldn’t last long. I’d either drink the drinks or upset people with my singing.

• Like most writer wannabes, I want to finish my book. I have a few other book ideas that I should work on but I prefer to watch my fish pond. Sometimes the excitement is so much, I can hardly contain myself.

Pathetic isn’t it.

There is one dream that I haven’t done yet. I’d like to live near water, preferably a beach community but riverside would work too — not a vacation but a permanent home. Not too remote either. It needs to be near a Starbucks.

And maybe have an orange cat (but don’t tell the beloved husband).

Courtesy of the newscenter at Berkley

Courtesy of the newscenter at Berkley

54 thoughts on “A very pathetic bucket list

  1. Pingback: A Backwards Glance Bucket List | Spirit Lights The Way

  2. Sometimes the simple things in life are the best. There’s something to be said for not smelling like pickles 🙂

    I saw an orange kitten once when I made the mistake of going to Petco on a Saturday. He was adorable and his name was Cheddar. If I didn’t think Scooter would have tormented him, I might have adopted him. When Scooter passed away last year, I wanted an orange cat, but fell in love with Linus who is gray and white. I guess, even in the cat world, it’s more about personality than looks.

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    • I have wanted an orange cat for years. First I got Jake, all black, because he needed a home and was found as a starving kitten on the streets. Then I got Mollie, a gorgeous calico. She was a friendly mom and I was afraid she wouldn’t be adopted because she was older. Hazel is a muted gray tiger but I’m pretty sure was a semi-feral cat. She would cower in her cage at adoption events. Morgan, my one-eye, I was afraid no one would adopt. After writing this, there is a theme here…..

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  3. I shall admit that I am hopelessly and incurably always out of the loop. I do know what a bucket list is (which is quite something, I think!) but I cannot fathom why almost everyone feels a need to have one (I don’t have one and am very content without it). Who started this nonsense, when, and why did such a large crowd of innocents follow the piper? (I mean, really, isn’t the very notion of a bucket list somewhat depressing?)

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  4. I’d like to be able to OPEN the pickle jar, forget about the spilling it part 🙂

    I have one of those grabby things for old folks. Yeah .. it doesn’t work worth a s*&%! 😦

    I love your list .. and lack of buckets!
    MJ

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  5. You have made me feel SO much better! Folks are amazed that I really have no bucket list. I haven’t had a very exciting life but have no desire to change that. Maybe someday I will finally go to Starbucks. Have to drive 25 miles though. Thanks for this most amusing blog.

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  6. I’m in your bucket, Kate. Not much that I feel must be done for me to view my life as “complete.” I’m happy as I am . . . and where I am.

    That said, there’s a Starbucks just down the street from us. Just saying . . .

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  7. You make me laugh…love the little umbrellas…Jimmy Buffet…I’d drink the drinks line. Sounds to me like you’re happy therefore there’s little yearning. I like that…okay, there is the orange cat, but other than that…your bucket is really empty…I think that’s great. Contentment…that’s catlike after all.

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  8. Great bucket list – definitely get the orange cat. I have had the bucket list conversation with people who have grand things on there list and mine seem so small. I am an nervous traveller and don’t jump off a two foot wall let along a plane.
    Mine include being published – not yet.
    Returning to the beach to live – tick.
    Raising nice kids – getting there.
    Being a good partner to my husband – most of the time.
    Getting out more – trying.

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  9. A great list…and I think a short, irreverent bucket list is a sure sign that you have been living your life all along, not waiting until X to start living. OMG don’t let me wax philosophical (that’s on MY bucket list)

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