Maybe it’s the season or the time of the year. Maybe it’s just me.
Lately I have been thinking of days gone by, other holidays and special people long gone.
I hate when this happens because there is a melancholy to it all. There is a sadness that I can’t explain. It hurts my heart.
I really miss some stuff and would do anything to enjoy it again. Sometimes the stuff is a person; sometimes it is just good times.
Sometimes the person isn’t dead, just not in my life anymore. Sometimes it’s a fun workplace that I really enjoyed and gave me a sense of community.
There are cycles. Friends cycle in because you have something in common. Maybe it is work related or you belong to something together. Then they cycle out because the bond breaks and the friendship didn’t stick. You are like Teflon and they slide off like a fried egg.
It’s true in the blogging world too. Some of the folks that started blogging with me no longer post. Some post less and some I don’t know about. They just disappear. Did they die? Did they get a life (although I can’t imagine anything more interesting than writing)?
I can remember vividly the sense of loss I felt when one of my early friends told me she was moving to New York City. It’s not that far away but it meant I wouldn’t see her every day.
We both promised to stay in touch and we did for while. For a long while but then….as it goes….life interfered.
Since then there have been many, many friends. Some I really wanted to hold onto but they slipped through my Teflon fingers. I don’t understand what happens.
It must be my fault. I didn’t dedicate the time. Or perhaps I didn’t have the patience.
I am coming up on the anniversaries of my parents’ deaths. They both died in January, 30 years apart. It has always put an extra bit of melancholy to January and added to the sense of loss that comes with the end of the holiday season. And yes, I miss them both.
Perhaps this is the time I should reflect and let go.
I should remember those friends and times fondly. Appreciate that we had the moment and then let go. Realistically there isn’t enough room to keep everyone, is there?
For those friends that I have now, let’s hang on.
Even if one of us moves.
Even if you don’t work with me anymore.
I promise I’ll be more patient…maybe — unless you are really boring. In that case it’s Sayonara Baby!
Special thanks to Nancy Hatch who inspired this post.