Don’t worry, be happy

“I don’t think there’s anything to worry about but we’ll do a biopsy to be sure.” 

worry clipartAs a cancer survivor I heard those words more often than I would like. The odds were always in my favor for the mammograms they had to redo, then the biopsies that followed but I lost those odds. 

When I heard those words again the little hairs on the back of neck stood up at attention. 

You can’t tell me not to worry when I’ve been around the block a time or two. 

You can’t tell me to not worry when I lost the war. 

This time the words don’t pertain to me. The beloved husband has a spot. No one is concerned but me. He was referred to a specialist who whacked out a biopsy. He, of course, is not taking it seriously. 

Perhaps that is harsh. He is following the protocol but isn’t concerned. After all, two docs told him that it probably wasn’t anything. 

No one seems to be truly concerned. Why would you do a biopsy if there wasn’t a chance of something serious? 

I know there is no point in worrying because all answers will come in due time. Tell that to my inner self who dwells on all negatives endlessly. 

This is the “what if” center of my soul. I sincerely wish I didn’t have one. Could I have it removed or perhaps spackled shut?

Why do I have this crazy center but others seem to function very well (indeed better than me) without one?

When did I lose “believing” that bad things don’t happen to me? 

Remember when Mom said it would be all right? She was usually right but not always. Perhaps I can blame her. Or maybe I inherited the worry wart gene. 

No point in worrying about the worry gene. Maybe some retail therapy will help until the results come in.

 

 

31 thoughts on “Don’t worry, be happy

  1. It’s human nature to worry … and the thing is? You already know too much. This ain’t your first rodeo. Chances are it will be OK, but reality has a way of biting us, too.

    Coffee and retail therapy is a must I’d say!

    Sending positive thoughts your way 🙂
    MJ

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  2. I was blessed with the wart gene as well…perhaps we’re related. As I was reading I was getting worried and silently screaming at your husband “show Kate some worry!” I wish I could be as cool as a cucumber, but i can’t…ugh. All the best that everyone else is right! Extra Starbucks in is order.

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  3. I always tell everyone “not to worry in advance” and I’m not a worrier in general…until it comes to any health issue at all. Even very small ones! I can’t seem to talk myself out of the worry and the fear. I really do trust all your fears will be unfounded, but I can understand how hollow words sound right now. I’m sending a giant hug. And chocolate is good for you both…eat up!

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  4. Darn big C. I try not to worry for relatives who have this because it just add to the big “A” anxiety. Let the doctor take care of the disease, let love ones pamper you and enjoy the ride.

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  5. When I had a parotid gland tumor, I didn’t worry while waiting 3 months for the surgery (b/c my preferred surgeon was changing hospitals) and while waiting another 3 months for the biopsy results of the very atypical tumor (that had to be sent around the country for ultimate diagnosis). I figured if I was going to die, I might as well enjoy the interim. :mrgreen:

    Hope you and your husband get good results soon.

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  6. Just as hard to be the companion as the patient. Skin cancers run in my family – been getting screenings forever (and our kid and husband, too as we are in the sun so much)
    Doc routinely does biopsy just to make sure. Just precaution/proactive/preventative – and worth it even if insurance doesn’t want to cover it because it’s not cancer …which is stupid since you would want to know early and you can’t know if you don’t biopsy…grrrrr.
    No matter the results – it will be OK. Seriously. It will.
    HUGS and shopping distraction – hey, always great!

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  7. I do believe I am the Queen…Royal Empress of Worry!  I have a mother who says “don’t worry…it will be fine.”  Oh and I believe her, but find my stomach does not.  Tomorrow, my husband is having a very invasive test to determine what is going on with his heart.  I am so worried that I am not hungry!  And for those who know me well….well that just doesn’t happen.  I wish I could tell you that the beloved husband will be just fine…so I will tell you that!  He will be.  It just might take a few turns around the block to get him there!  But the end result will be good.

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  8. Turning off our worry wheel can be practically impossible … distraction, and hopeful, happy thoughts sometimes helps … but in the end, we don’t really breathe again until we know.

    Thinking positive thoughts for you and yours. As long as you’re going to practice some retail therapy as a form of distraction, you might as well get some Christmas shopping done. Ho ho ho?

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