Names tell a lot about people. If you were named something truly odd, like Moon Unit, there is a good chance that one of your parents was a musician, a druggie or both.
If your name is “natural” like Serenity or Peace, you were born in the late 1960s to early 1970s. Your mother wore her hair long, parted in the middle. She burned her bra. You have some of her jewelry. It has peace signs on it. Your father’s hair was almost as long as your mother’s and they reminisce about Woodstock. I may be your godmother but that’s another story.
You can tell someone’s age by their name. Names go in and out of vogue. When I was a young child, my mother’s aunt was Aunt Emma and she was old — really old. If you see an Emma today, she is most likely under 10.
Mom had an Aunt Mealey too. Her real name was Amelia — very old person especially to a six-year-old. That name was popular again in the 1990s but it’s hard for me to look at a young child named Amelia and not picture that wrinkly old lady in the long black dresses with big clunky oxford shoes.
If your name is Linda, Barbara, Sandra, Nancy, Patricia, Betty, Joyce, Joan, Helen, Ruth, Phyllis or Dorothy, you are in or close to your sixth decade of life or maybe even older (but I’m not telling).
Do you know anyone under age 10 with those names? I don’t.
Jennifer reigned supreme in the 70s. Every family had one. It was just like Lisa in the 60s and Mary and Linda in the 40s and 50s.
Boys don’t get off easy either. One of my local baristas named her son Rivers Joseph. Somehow it doesn’t roll off of my tongue right and I want to call him the River Jordan. I like that. It has a biblical sound to it.
When I was a kid, boys were named James, Robert, John, William and Richard with a few oddballs thrown in. In fact there were multiples of several names so we kids would work hard to make sure everyone had a “unique” tag.
We had “Legs” Webber. He was really good at basketball. Charles turned into Chucker and I don’t know why. We only had one Charles. There was a Booper too and I can’t remember his real name.
Sometimes we had to resort to corrupting their last name, like Yostie for Yost. I am amazed we made it through school without long-term psychological scars. Hmmm…maybe we didn’t….
Michael became a very popular name. In fact it was number 1 from 1960 through 1998 when Jacob took over the top spot. Oddly enough that was the year I named my cat Jake. I must be a trend setter.
My advice to pregnant women – if you are looking for a name that is truly unique, don’t listen to your friends. If it’s a boy call him Robert or James. Be sure to stay away from George because I have this feeling.
If you use Wyatt, Xavier, Jeremiah or Avery, he won’t be the only one in class.
If it’s a girl, stay away from Sophia, Emma, Isabella, Olivia and Ava. Those are the current top five. Name her Matilda or Joyce. I can guarantee your child will be the only child in the class with that name.
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