A car is a car is a car unless it isn’t

blue car from disneyToday I picked up more supplies to repot my tomato plants. Rack up another $25 for stuff so I can nurture my own plants and reap the rewards of organic food. I don’t do this to save money. I already blogged about the real cost of my tomatoes. If you are a gardener and haven’t read it, you can access it here. Sadly, you will relate!

One of the items I purchased was a big bag of potting soil. It was heavy and dirty. One of the young beautifully built stud muffins carried it to my car.

He asked which car.

I said the blue one.

There were four blue cars parked near mine. I could have said the blue Toyota but I didn’t really know what the other cars were. Perhaps another one was a Toyota and he would be just as confused.

Sweet guy that he was, he followed me while I opened my door and popped my trunk open.

I love CSI and detective shows. I love putting the clues together. However, I would not make a great witness.

(Very professional detective person) Ma’am, what did you see?

There was this car; I think it was car that came speeding down the alley.

(Eyebrows are up in the air) If it wasn’t a car, what else would it have been?

Maybe a truck or a hearse. It was dark green…no, black…or maybe dark blue. Wait I think it was red or was that on the other street? Let’s go with a dark-colored car.

(He’s thinking now. Old lady…no car knowledge…if only I could get something out of her) If it looked like a truck or a hearse, could it have been a big SUV?

Yeah, maybe an SUV. That’s one of the big things, isn’t it?

(Very hopeful) Yes. Do you know what make it was?

Ummmm….no. It had some emblem on it but I don’t know what it was.

(Now we are on the right track) What did the emblem look like?

It was a couple of shields or a couple of stars or a peace emblem.

(Dead end, another tack needed) Did you see who was driving?

Yes, it was a person.

(With a totally straight face) A person, good.  Was it a man person or a female person?

Someone with longish hair. They had gray roots so it must have been female or a guy who gets a dye job.

(Now he is interested, maybe I could be helpful. How on earth could I see the hair roots.) Could you identify the driver if you see them again?

Maybe. The driver was a cross between Dolly Parton and Joe Pesci.

(Totally bewildered detective) Thanks lady, you have been a great help.

Let’s hope I am never a witness to a crime!

23 thoughts on “A car is a car is a car unless it isn’t

  1. MOL! Well, it is difficult to remember when we don’t really pay attention, says my human. As a kitty I couldn’t care less so I would make a furry bad witness too!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and posting get-well wishes for Milou. We really appreciate!
    Purrs

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  2. I’m afraid I am exactly the same way, Kate, and at times it’s embarrassing. I have been known to not recognize a family member’s car parked in front of my own house. I just don’t have enough interest in vehicles, I suppose, but I sometimes think I just don’t remember detail, and the cars are too much alike. I’m so glad to know it isn’t just me! 🙂

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  3. Hahaha! Thanks for the laughs.

    I’d never notice roots . . . I might notice a tattoo.
    I’d rarely be able to identify the make . . . I might notice the color. Or not.

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    • Recently I watched an interview with a young movie star and I was distracted by the roots. She was blonde. I didn’t know if it’s in or not. She had all the money in the world to keep her hair rootless. An interesting tattoo I would also notice. Car color, not so much.

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  4. Ha Ha Ha! This is soooo funny because you are speaking to another ridiculously ignorant car-identifier. I can hardly recognize my own car in a lot and can’t remember the license #. This post is hilarious!

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  5. Loved this, Kate, and I can relate. I’ve driven by my own house several times because they all look alike – at least to me. My kindly and very perceptive neighbor pointed out that my house is just past a speed limit sign on the other side of the street. By golly, he was right. Do they have an app for that?

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  6. OK, I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe. First of all, as a fellow HR type, how many times did you talk about perception as reality. If you really believed it was a green SUV, then that’s how it appeared to you. At the same time, it appeared to Suzie Q to be a red pick-up truck. You’re both right! Second, I barely know what I drive, let alone anyone else, but it happens to be a blue Toyota. Third, I read this out loud to my husband and he snorted ice cream through his nose. No easy feat.

    Is there some kind of app that can generate love children images? Because I want a gander at the Dolly Parton + Joe Pesci combo.

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    • You are so right! I have read that eye witnesses are not reliable because of the reality versus perception thing. They certainly aren’t reliable in the work place! I don’t know anything about cars either. I buy by color. Thank God for that unlock thingie that beeps when you lose your car. Sorry about the ice cream.

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