I went to the doctor last week for my yearly routine “wellness” exam. Have you ever noticed that you feel better as soon as you make “the appointment?” All those little aches and pains that you want to ask about disappear.
A couple of weeks back, I had headaches. Since they are unusual for me I figured it was either a brain tumor or an aneurism. Then they went away. Same thing with some chest pains. Gone! By appointment time I was perfectly healthy.
I make notes so I can ask questions about symptoms I no long have just in case they come back. I find that aging does things to you besides wrinkles and sagging so I always want to be sure that whatever I have is normal…sort of.
All is good except for some digestion issues. The solution for that is more fiber. I told the doctor that I have a great diet full of healthy fruits and vegetables. He started twitching which I knew precedes bad news. Then he said those dreaded words…whole grains.
It seems that fruits and veggies don’t have the fiber content of whole grain stuff. I am all about healthy but a little whole grain goes a long way for me. Most of it tastes like cardboard or is dry or something. It doesn’t help to put it in muffins. It only ruins them!
I had a session with Mr. Google and dang! all my favorite foods have low fiber counts. I like beans but 10 of them will do me for the year. I like nuts but to get any fiber value I have to eat so many that it fulfills my fat and calorie allowance for the entire year.
The worst part is that chocolate wasn’t on the listing….at all. I wasn’t this depressed since I learned that someone put calories in oranges. By the way there isn’t much fiber in oranges either.
There is no fiber in margaritas, cookies, cakes or ice cream. What’s with that? None in meat either. I saw those cows chewing on grass. Where did it go?
Perhaps there is a supplement? Mr. Google looked that up for me and yes there are things to eat and drink just for fiber. The really odd thing is the warning on the labels.
Did you know that if you take this stuff you need to drink a lot of fluids or the fiber will turn into cement bricks inside your digestive track? That would require your proctologist to use a backhoe to get it out. Scary!
How would you make that appointment anyway? “Hello doc, I need an excavation in my drain pipe. When is the backhoe available?”
Perhaps they can inject it in my wrinkles instead!
In addition the side effects are identical to the problems for which I would be taking the fiber. Somehow that doesn’t compute in my brain. How would I know if I’m having “the problem” or “the side effects?” This is not funny stuff!
There are a few things I can do. I can eat a sweet potato, an artichoke and a bale of hay every day and I should be good to go (pun intended).
Clipart credits: grains by dreamstime from Google.