My gifts are never this pretty!
Disclaimer: If you have ever given me a gift, this post does not apply to you. You have wonderfully impeccable taste. It only applies to those who are not as tasteful as you!
Merry Christmas to all! By now you have opened all your gifts and maybe are wondering what you will do with some of them. I am revisiting this from last year when I addressed the dilemma of gifts that are…well…let’s say….not useful.
So you have a couple…ummm…..odd or goofy gifts…frankincense and myrrh come to mind. What on earth would a young couple with a new baby and a donkey do with frankincense and myrrh! How about diapers or formula? They called them the three wise men. I can tell you three wise women would never have given those gifts! A couple of onesies and some formula maybe but frankincense, no!
We all received something that makes us scratch our head! Maybe a great gift that you already have or in a size or color that just won’t work with your svelte body and delicate complexion. Perhaps some hand-painted pictures for over the mantle by a totally unknown (and never to be known) artist or even worse…by a friend or relative. I have the solution for you.
I confess I regift. It goes along with my recycling personality which was nurtured by my mother who grew up during the depression. Everyone has their own feelings about it but I believe that the best tribute to a friend who has given you a gift is to ensure that it is used and enjoyed.
I would be the first to say that I am hard to buy for. I like what I like. If you take the time to really know me, it’s not so bad but for those who have better things to do, it’s tough.
So what do I usually get? With my love of cats, I get cat stuff. Fortunately, that is waning. I actually don’t have a lot of tchotchkes in my house. Ironically, the few I have are ducks which intrigue me. (Note to friends: do not buy me more duck stuff.) Then there are always gift certificates, candles, ornaments, soaps, lotions and that kind of thing. Those are good things because you use them.
Occasionally, I get something that I really don’t like or can’t use because of the size, colors or scent. If they are lovely, I will regift to someone who I believe would love them. The key is that it fits the person. You can’t regift to get out of buying a present.
I have been doing this for thirty years. Here are some pointers that work for me:
■For goodness sakes, don’t give it back to the person who gave it to you even if you know they would love it, unless it’s a joke gift. In that case, they deserve it!
■Don’t regift anything that is ugly or useless. Yes, occasionally you get those. I once received a pot pourri burner that wasn’t stable. It was just asking to burn down the house. THROW THEM OUT!
■You can’t regift it if you used it — like a burned candle or a worn sweater. Tacky! It must be brand new or the gig is up. For heaven’s sakes don’t return an article of clothing you wore to the store because for sure I will buy it and smell the armpits!
■If you aren’t immediately regifting, be sure to put a post-it identifying where it came from (see first bullet). Trust me, you will thank me later!
■Also be sure to rewrap and check for cards in the box. I learned that lesson the hard way. Ouch!
■Sometimes you can donate to an organization for raffles or Chinese auctions. Another good use only if the giver isn’t there. I put together a bunch of cat stuff in a basket for a Chinese auction. There was a bidding war! For poorly made cat statues? Would you believe that?
■Regift outside of the circle that it came from. If it’s from family, regift to a co-worker. If it’s from work, regift to family or friends unless they overlap.
Sometimes you are just stuck. Someone important bought you something they expect to see either in your house or on your body. Suck it up and use it for a short period of time. Hope they forget about it.
Usually when I buy a gift, I try to include the gift receipt along with a note that encourages the receiver to keep or exchange as they wish. I would much prefer if they have something they like rather than a closet of unused gifts from me.
I am all ears if you have any other suggestions! By the way, my sister-in-law actually LIKES fruitcake just in case you got one of those that needs a home. I have no idea what you would do with frankincense and myrrh but I can offer some ideas for the gold!
Photo credit: Cakeboxsoc courtesy of Flickr
Views and Mews by Coffee Kat 
This may be the first year in many that I didn’t receive at least one gift that to me made NO sense! I think all my gifts were quite nice. But I don’t have any problem with re-gifting when I do have items I’m not going to use. I think the key to feeling better about it is being sure that the gift is outside the circle in which it originated! That is an excellent idea! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and don’t have too many items in need of a new home! 🙂
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I love your pointers for re-gifting. We don’t do a lot of exchanging gifts, but have managed to shift to exchanging one ornament instead of a present – the nice thing is you end up with memories hanging on the tree ( and exchanging baked goods is simply too fattening now!)
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I received a handmade gift two years ago. It’s sat in the trunk of my car all this time. This year, I think I’ll donate it to someone who might love it.
Thank you for the informative and amusing post, Kate. Hope your Christmas was merry and that you have a very Happy New Year.
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I think your regifting strategy has considerable merit, Kate: every gift must surely have someone who is destined to love it: and if you are not that person it needs to be back out there in the world tracking down its soul-owner.
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I have re-gifted on occasion– making certain, as you noted, to give the gift in a different circle than from which it came. However, now that just about everyone who I know doesn’t exchange gifts for the holidays, it makes the decision about whether or not to re-gift a fairly simple one. 😉
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Regifting, done right, is awesome.
Regifting, done wrong, is a disaster.
We don’t exchange gifts much these days . . . and when people want ideas, we usually encourage them to give us consumables. Chocolate, gift cards, Chocolate, bath soap, Chocolate . . . 😀
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Hmmmm….chocolate….is there a theme here?
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I think frankincense and myrrh were very important back in those days, since folks didn’t bathe that often. The king who brought the gold probably stunk. The kings who brought the aromatherapy were much more welcome.
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I think I’d still rather have the gold, hoping I would not breathe deeply until they left!
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I love your line about what the 3 wise women would have bought! Great post as usual.
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The suggestions make sense, especially the donation part. In my family, for the past 10 years, we stopped buying gifts due to the fact we have what we need, so we started regifting, unwanted gifts or unwanted reusable items from our home. It is so much fun. At one time, I received a bumpit, my hair is 2 inches from my skull. My family were in stiches laughing at me. I received back a kitchen gadget after 3 years. More laughter from them. I haven’t opened my presents from last night’s festivity. I hope it’s not what I gave away, again. Merry Christmas.
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That sounds like fun!
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Or you can do what I do . Encourage friends and family to forgo gifts and give the money to charity instead. Merry Christmas! Hope you got no francincense.
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No frankincense so far! My family stopped exchanging gifts when I was in my 20s. It is mostly friends and work-related gifts that still go on. I do agree with your philosophy. I would rather donate to someone in need than exchange gifts especially an animal shelter. They are also on tough times as people have less to give and there are so many disasters.
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I agree with your concept totally, I have learned over the years that my taste of funky is not same for anyone else in the world. There are some gifts I gave to friends in the past that I never saw in their house and wished they would regift it back to me as I knew right where it would go in my house – but then that goes back to your bullet #1. So now I chose gifts that do not have to be dusted. You still need to know what the person likes to drink or where they like to eat but that is alot easier to figure out- you can for the most part get someone to talk about food or what they like to drink…
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I am hoping these unwanted gifts aren’t the beautiful painted pieces you do! I once gave a bottle of wine to a friend only to learn that she and her husband don’t drink. Sigh. Fortunately she was upfront about it and I took it back.
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Some were painted gifts and I wish people were more up front as that person was with you. And I love the donation giving which my friends and I give to animal shelters instead to each other.
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