The perils of modern day air travel or beam me up Scotty! Please!

Airline traveling is the worst! I get destination disease or travel anxiety. Call it what you will but I never feel well when I have to travel. I worry about everything from my diabetic cat to something eating the fish in my pond to my plane going nose down in a cornfield. That’s pretty heavy stuff to worry about. I probably should throw in world peace too.

Statistically, it’s safer than car travel – so they tell me. My analytical brother always tells me the best time to fly is after an airline accident. Everyone is on high alert. Right!

When traveling by car you can pull over and get out or stop at a local diner for food. It’s really tough to get a 747 to pull over so you can visit a cloud diner. Oh, that’s right! There are no diners in the clouds.

When I was younger, flying was more of an adventure. The food was ok and there were reasonably priced drinks and free snacks. On my recent trip the only thing free was some non-alcoholic drinks. If you asked for a soda, you got a little cup with about 4 ounces in it. What’s the point?

Lord help anyone who needs to use the bathroom. I am a small person and I have a hard time in those upright caskets. How does someone of substantial girth actually pee in there? How can they even see the hole? What if he has to….well, you know….he could get stuck. Those bathrooms always make me woozy.

Our airline required us to pay $50 for a single checked bag. For our short trip we could have done carry-on except for the 3 ounce rule. It’s discriminatory toward women who tend to carry more cosmetic items that don’t come in 3 ounce containers. In hindsight I should have gone out and purchased those little bottles and repackaged.

The seats are also designed by the same people who do toddler’s furniture. They use the same sizing too.

To make the trip easier for me I carry as many drugs as a pharmaceutical salesperson. I have Xanax in case I get very anxious, anti-diarrhea meds in case of, well, you know, Tylenol for other aches or pains, vitamins to keep me healthy and salty snacks to keep me sane. Everything works except the salty snacks. Keep in mind that I am normally a healthy person!

This trip was made special by four toddlers who sat directly in front of us, all under age four. Three of them never made a peep. The fourth screeched almost the entire trip including the baggage claim wait. It was the worst noise I have ever heard – worse than chalk on a blackboard but the really bad part was that was we couldn’t get away from it.

The beloved husband, who raised triplets, was not very sympathetic. He was suggesting they use nitrous oxide to calm the child down. I was thinking that perhaps if the parents didn’t want to do that, the rest of us could use the nitrous oxide to calm us down. Either way would work for me. You can always depend on him for great ideas under pressure.

I keep thinking that soon there will be a better way to get from here to there. Beam me up Scotty! I am so ready!

 

Clipart credits: airplay by travel-babel.com; crying baby by fiolex.com

27 thoughts on “The perils of modern day air travel or beam me up Scotty! Please!

  1. I hate air travel too! I think the worst for me was when stewartest told me I needed to move from back row (of which I was only passenger) to the middle “to balance the weight on the plane.” I was shocked at suggestion my 130lbs. had such significant balancing act for all our safety…

    Like

  2. Pingback: Gotta love WordPress | For Bloggers | Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

  3. LOL!!! The good news: Actually your brother is probably right — at a minimum statistical probability also says “What are the chances?!” 🙂 When I was young for years I worked in Public Relations for a major airline, with employees who did public speaking. One of our favourite sayings was that you were more likely to die in your bathtub than in an airline accident.
    The bad news: I don’t fly these days! (probably neurotic!) I loved the humour in your reflection!

    Like

  4. I have to like someone because I want to travel and this is the fastest way. I have issues about flying, people included, but I must maintain my calm for 10 hours or longer. Yes, can’t wait for that intergalactic travel. Ok Number 1, make it so.

    Like

  5. “When traveling by car you can pull over and get out or stop at a local diner for food. It’s really tough to get a 747 to pull over so you can visit a cloud diner. Oh, that’s right! There are no diners in the clouds.”

    HAHAHA!

    I haven’t flown too many times, but to me I feel that planes remind me of being stuck on an overcrowded commuter train to work—trapped until reaching the end destination. Sometimes I luck out and either get into a good book or fall asleep during the flight (though turbulence shakes me awake again).

    Like

  6. I am so with you on this! I do not enjoy anything about travel these days. I don’t have time to go very far by car, and I get anxious just walking into an airport. If I must, I will. If I don’t have to, I don’t! 🙂 Of course this attitude certainly limits my opportunities!

    Like

    • I am like that too. Unfortunately, my husband’s kids all live in Denver which is a 3-1/2 hour plane trip. We don’t go as often as we would if it would be a 3-1/2 hour car trip but that’s life.

      Like

  7. Try being on a plane for 9 hours and expecting to try and sleep! On my last flight home from Europe I had the entire row to myself and it was heaven. Unfortunately that rarely happens and your stuck like a sardine. I’m small too and still very uncomfortable so I agree with you that I don’t know how larger people handle it.

    Like

  8. Do the airlines hate real people? I have heard of celebrities who absolutely refuse to fly. I’m convinced if it gets expensive enough, the crowds will thin and the luxury will return. The it will be an exciting adventure again. Hope is a wonderful thing. Or is it wishful thinking? Anyway, I LOVE this post of yours Kate. It says exactly how I feel. 🙂

    Like

  9. It’s amazing how creative the airlines are at making flying a more and more miserable. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse or they couldn’t possibly think of one more thing to charge a fee for, they come up with something.

    Like

  10. I read this tip someplace and, while I haven’t used it myself yet, I thought is sounded like a good idea. If you aren’t going to be gone very long you can buy a contact lense case and put some cream in each of the compartments. I could probably fit enough eye cream for a few days in one side and more than enough for an entire week if I used both sides. Hope this helps you avoid the $50 charge next time!

    Like

  11. Kate, we’ve only driven one trip when I’d rather have flown. It’s when we moved from New York to Florida. Loved the stops along the way. Even so, I’d rather have booked a flight. But our two cats would never have survived a flight cooped up in the luggage compartment in the hot summer.

    Like

  12. What I don’t like about planes is that you can’t change your mind. In a car if you decide you would rather not go where you are on your way to you can turn around. Or if you are tired of being in the car you can stop and get out of the car. In a plane that’s where you are, period. No changing your mind until you get to where you are going then if you have changed your mind you have to get in another plane and repeat the experience to get back to where you started.

    Like

  13. I’m not a fan of air travel any more. The first time that I flew as a young girl, it was so luxurious & sophisticated & exotic. Now I’m just another sack of potatoes in the back of a pick up truck. Ready to be mashed, fried, baked or chipped depending on where I’m seated on the flight. *meh*

    Like

Don't be shy, I'd love to hear what you're thinking!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s