Techie reviewing my printer

I love merchandise websites that have customer product reviews. I research these sites whether I buy in a “brick and mortar” store or on-line. This is especially true if I am buying something new and not sure what I really want.

It is a total must for techie products. Even if I am purchasing something simple like a printer for my computer I will do my research on-line. You gotta love those techie reviewers. They will write 1500 words to cover every aspect of the gadget. They do brand comparisons and tell me which they like and why. Sometimes I have no clue what they are talking about but they always tell me which one to buy. Techie reviewers are really great.

Toe cleavage or piggy crack

In comparison, shoe sites aren’t as helpful. Reviews look more like this:

• Really cool shoe, goes with a lot (Great but is it comfortable or don’t you care about that?)
• Bought for my Grandma and now my Mama wants a pair. (So the shoes are only for matronly women age 50 and up?)
• The color doesn’t look like it does on-line. (Duh! Maybe your computer needs a color adjustment!)
• It really took long to get them. I needed them for a party (This was accompanied by a 2 star rating – so what about the shoes?)
• I love the shoes. I just got them 20 minutes ago and they are soooo cute! (Please come back AFTER you have worn them!)
• Great toe cleavage (I didn’t even know that toes had cleavage! Is that a good thing?)

Book reviewers are more consistent with each other. In fact, I find that they describe the plot and sometimes the ending (without a spoiler alert) in their review which can be almost as long as a techie’s equipment review. They will do comparisons with other books the author wrote. Today there was a big discussion in a few reviews about the use of switching from first person to third person in a book. Jeez! So did you like it? Did you stay up reading it when you should have been sleeping? That is the test of a good read!

Skincare products are another tough area for reviews. Here are my favs:

• I LOVE this product. I have used it for 48 minutes and my skin looks younger already. (Seriously, there are a lot of reviews similar to this. There are no cosmetics on earth that give such a dramatic change. If there were, I would buy it by the case and lather it all over my body.)
• It stinks. I broke out in hives. Don’t buy it. (Do you have sensitive skin? Is this the first time you had a reaction to a product or does that routinely happen? Did you use as directed?)
• This product is overpriced. Go to yadayada.com and buy the yada yada product for half the price. You will be so much happier and richer. (Perhaps you work for yada yada?)
• I have used this product for 5 years and I really like it but I don’t buy it from this vendor because I’m afraid it’s a counterfeit. It really should cost twice as much as what they are selling it for. (Counterfeit? Now it feels illegal!)

For the fall want to get an LL Bean lightweight flannel shirt. I am starting early. Last year I played Russian roulette hoping for a sale. They sold out of my size early and I am not going to let that happen again.

Of course they changed the style slightly so I am not sure which size to get. Depending on the cut, I can wear one of two sizes in LL Bean clothes. I went to the trusty old review site and here is what I found.

• I can’t believe they call this flannel. It’s not like my husband’s flannel shirts. Very disappointed. (Did you not see the word lightweight in the description?)
• LL Bean changed their sizing. It is cut too small. I had to order a size up. (Normally this is the information I am looking for but read on.)
• I love this shirt but it was big. I had to send it back for a size smaller. (So, did Miss Too Small plump up over the summer or did Miss Too Big have gastric bypass surgery?)

Based on these reviews, I will make a trip to our local LL Bean store and try the shirt on to be sure I get the right size.

Here is what I want from a review:

• Did you get the size you normally wear or does it run big or small, long or short, narrow or wide?
• Is it comfortable (armholes fit, fabric soft, arm length correct, collar, toe box, heel grips?)
• Did you like the color (this is really subjective but if enough reviewers rave/complain about the colors that tells you something.)
• Did you wash it and did it shrink?
• Oh, and don’t review it if you haven’t worn it or used it.

I need to find a techie reviewer who wears women’s shoes, uses cosmetics and buys ladies’ clothes. That would be perfect!

Photo credits: Techie By Joseph Trapani courtesy of Flickr and toe cleavage by dsnylons 0239 courtesy of Flickr.

PS: I tried to find a picture of a crossdresser thinking that would be more fun. What I found was that crossdressers are attractive! I couldn’t tell that they weren’t women.

PPS: I did go down to LL Bean and I needed the smaller size! Yay!