And it happened again! – We are at the end of July and I swear there were seven days in July and only two were decent weatherwise. It’s been toasty hot here but at least we didn’t have severe storms and flooding. August ushers in the festival season here so it also goes fast. We move from one to the next and then it’s fall. The back-to-school sales are in full swing. (And yes, I’ve seen some Christmas stuff too!)
Another one gone – A friend from my past died recently. It was someone I hadn’t seen in years, but he was a prominent friend from my youth. Watching death take your contemporaries is unnerving. It’s like a game of musical chairs where you must grab a chair when the music stops or the grim reaper will scoop you up. Just yesterday we were all young sprouts and today, we’re ducking and bobbing death, hoping each new ache or pain isn’t terminal.
Small victories – We finally convinced my 95-year-old brother to buy a new phone. The old one wasn’t compatible with new apps nor did it hold a charge. He bought a basic smart phone (but not entry level) which is all he needs. It will last him a long time (he says the rest of his life!). I will help him convert. That’s the blind leading the blind. Never in a million years did I think I would be the techie of the family! Very scary thought! Maybe I’ll download some cat apps for him.
Is it time? – Another couple friend is planning a move to a continuous care facility. They will move to the independent living section but if health circumstances change, they can move to something with help. Friends are making decisions that will smooth the end-of-life process. Who would have thought my hard partying hippie friends would be that sane and logical? Pass the Geritol please.
Waxing philosophical – When I retired, I thought the days of making tough decisions were behind me. They are not. The decisions are different but no less intensive. As soon as one box is checked off, three others pop up. Each decision seems more important than the last one. Some decisions you make blind (meaning you don’t have some piece of critical information) and other times you have what you need to know but the decision is not one you want to make. Knowing how long you will live makes a lot of decisions easier but most people don’t know that. Perhaps those that do wish they didn’t.
So how was your week?

thanks for you insight & love your photos.
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Thanks.
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The aging process is quite sobering. Never in my mind did I ever think as a partying/loving hippie soul would ever age. Boy have I been surprised coming to that realization!
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It’s not a fun realization either. It comes with aches, creaks and bum body parts.
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Bette Davis was so right…”Old age ain’t no place for sissies.”
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Although we both feel too young to actually make the move, my husband and I have talked about at least looking into various continuing care communities… for the way future. We had some neighbors (about 10 years older than we are) move into one recently and they love it. I was SHOCKED when they told me how much it cost (both the “buy in” and the ongoing, monthly fee).
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It’s costly but includes most of your living costs with the benefit of no worry. I talked to a woman once and she said the key was to move when you are still able to make friends and get involved. Makes it easier as you age.
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We have been talking about a Life Plan Community for years. Just to make it simple, my problem with it is that it is too peopley. We don’t live in a 55 plus community, more like 80 plus. Lots of people pass away in our neighborhood and we have fire trucks and ambulances here frequently. It’s often overwhelming and can make us sad and can cause some depression and anxiety. I can only imagine being in that situation 24/7 365 days a year. We have a continuing care facility right across from the back gate to our neighborhood and medical vehicles are always dispatched there. I just want to cross the bridge in my own home. I can, depending on the circumstances, stay in my home with the assistance of home care services and/or hospice care. Care at home services and CCRCs are plentiful in Florida… it’s a state full of old people!
On a lighter note… I think our heat wave is going to break tomorrow with a west sea breeze returning.
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If you can find the help you need, that’s makes the difference. Our neighborhood is kind of like yours on a smaller scale. People are aging in place and some are moving to CCRCs. The only bad thing about our neighborhood is that it’s independent (not a condo) which means you have to mow your grass and shovel your walks, do all your own maintenance, etc. The grass mowing isn’t too bad but finding snow removal is hard. People don’t show up because they get a better or bigger gig. Ultimately I think it’s those things that push some people here to move. The houses themselves are aging friendly. We’re still juggling around. We got the wills done so we are taking a break from big decisions! 🙂
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Pass the Geritol please. I’m feeling that way more every week, not quite OLD but old-ish. And you’re right I’m seeing more important decisions in my future. This makes me anxious, haven’t I decided enough already?
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I know. I want to be a kid again. Adulthood is overrated!
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Sorry about your loss. Fall will be here soon. Maybe things and weather will start looking up.
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Fall brings winter which is my most depressing time of year. January and February have 60 days each! 🙂
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we are so sorry about your friend… and with having such news we feel even older than we are… and there is also fear inside…. sigh
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Yes and you start to second guess why you have been spared so long.
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I am sorry about the loss of your friend. Your description of aging and death like musical chairs is quite accurate.
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It seems to happen overnight or perhaps there is an event that makes you take notice.
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The high school I attended has a lot of graduates as there were big graduating classes. I was the June class of 1973 and we had 600+ graduates and the January class of 1973 had about 150. So they have a Facebook site for all of our high school graduate deaths: “LPHS Deaths” … every day there are new deaths reported and not those that graduated in the 60s … mostly from the 70s and 80s. We have lost many in our class, but in the list that gives the cause of death, most were heart attack victims. Each time our own classmates chime in with “so young” – we are not that young to be honest. I was the youngest one in my graduating class and I am 69 years old – most of my classmates would be 70 now. It is a sobering thought thought. I will be happy to get to Fall even though they predict more hot weather. It is 85 as I write this and we got to 90 with a real feel of 95. At least there were no storms predicted or happened.
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We will have a few hot humid days before it winds down. Your FB site reminds me of my husband’s reunions. There was always an “in memoriam” on a card on the tables. At first it was a 5×7 stock card. It got bigger and bigger. Last time it was a full sheet both sides. His graduating class was huge but it’s still sobering.
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Yes it is sobering to be sure. The last reunion, the 50th, had a PDF slideshow of everyone who had passed away. The reunion committee raised funds after Council Point Park was opened in 1994 to buy a memorial tree which they had to dedicate “to everyone who is no longer with us” as there were so many names. We had a sickening hot day, 90s with dew points in the 70s. And we had a bad storm with torrential rain that lasted for hours. The airport had five inches of rain in 40 minutes, as did some other cities. Our city was fine though – no flooding.
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Thank goodness for no flooding! Hopefully our heat wave will break on Thursday.
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Yes, one more big storm/torrential event for us and it is Wednesday night and into Thursday morning/mid-day. Thursday WAS to be the transition day to cooler weather, but the storm got delayed, then we have four days of beautiful weather to get out and enjoy!
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My worry about summer is that I won’t take advantage of all those beautiful days, and sooner than I expected, it will be over.
One of the difficulties with making the decision to move out of your house and into some kind of facility is that it sounds like so much work, and energy wanes with age.
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I get that. I moved 4-1/2 years ago. Don’t look forward to doing again!
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I agree, the tough decisions never stop. I hope August isn’t as soggy as July has been here. We usually get hot dry summers. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend.
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It’s been hot and dry lately. The grass is a little crispy after a rainy spring and early summer. A nice rainy day would be welcome!
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Wish we could switch weather. Hopefully it will change for both of us soon.
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Me too!
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I laughed at your age-related comments. My daughter made me promise I would live 20 more years, and there are 17 left.
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Yes, at least 17!
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Know exactly wh
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Just wrote a comment but not accepted. Will try again. Yes, musical chairs for the “aged.” Apt description. I’m sorry for the loss of your ‘old’ friend. Those we knew when we were younger always have a place in our hearts and memories.
And it would help a lot if we knew our expiration date, for sure.
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After I wrote this I googled two other friends, both died within the past 6 months. I’m seriously hanging on to my chair!
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🩵
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Musical chairs with the grim reaper in charge! Yes, that is what it seems like some days. On the positive side I went to a birthday celebration for a cousin who turned 100 and doing well even if he has to use a wheelchair. I hope I have some of those good genes. Cat apps would be good for your brother.
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Glad you agree about the cat apps! That should make him smile!
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend! It is really sobering to start losing people you were young with.
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I checked the mirror to make sure I didn’t age along with them! 🙂
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And of course you didn’t!
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🙂
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I think we’ve had four days in July that weren’t under a heat advisory. New technology is always challenging and more so with each year. Moving to a facility with continued care is certainly a good idea at certain stages, but if yours are like ours, it will require a huge downpayment plus monthly rent/fees. The amounts here are staggering. So, for now, we are aging in place like you are.
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The costs are high initially but it’s balanced with not much outside costs. Then there is the cost or worry. My friends who are moving felt much the same way as you do until there were health issues that complicated everything.
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Health issues always complicate things. It costs around $300,000 to get into one here, after you wait between 3-10 years, and then there is monthly rent/fees of $2-4,000 per month depending upon size of unit.
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Costs here are similar although you can get a place under $300K. The theory is that you get the upfront money with some left over from selling your current home. The wait isn’t that long here. Most people are in their first choice within a year but it does take planning. If you are forced into a care place because of health issues, it’s costly too. In the old days, the old folks moved in with the young folks and family took care of it’s own. Today everyone is spread all over and has busy lives.
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I can relate to all of the above. Except the weather, our July has been good. Hoping that August continues our good weather streak!
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You have been hogging all the good weather! Share!
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I often think about whether or not I’d want to know when/how I die. If it’s health related and there’s nothing you can do about it, it’s probably better not to know. Maybe. Halloween stuff is already in the stores here. There should be a law about not putting out pumpkin-shaped chocolates until they won’t melt.
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Lots of Halloween stuff here. I agree with the melting part.
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When I was 21, a man asked me for a date two weeks out (he lived out of town) and I thought that day would never arrive. No more. And as a call to aging, once that memory bubbled up, the next thought was, “I wonder if he’s still alive?”
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I’ve been known to google a person’s name with obit after it to see if they are alive! 🙂
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I’m no fan of summer, but we do love that school is out, and since we live around the corner from all three schools, we love not having to battle traffic on the way to our clients in the morning. We are already sad that school starts again in just a few weeks. Summer has whizzed by. And we are meeting with our financial person soon, just to review where things are, and was thinking about what large expenses are still in the wings…a new (used) car for one, and realizing that someday driving may be a problem…and went down the rabbit hole from there. Time is flying…
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My brother is driving at 95. He stays close to home and only in daylight. He had to pass tests to renew his license so he is concerned about that too.
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I admire that he is still driving at that age. I sometimes wonder whether to stop or not. Not that I don’t feel confident in my ability, but rather whether I should be out by myself at my age.🤔🤔
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He does ok as long as he sticks close by. I doubt that he would want to drive on interstate highways these days. I don’t know how you decide when you’ve had enough. My mother who learned when she was 46 never liked to drive. She stopped in her late 60s but then she had to depend on people.
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Written tests or driving tests?
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I think both plus a physical.
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I get it, but wow!
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Same here! I live across from a middle school and a block or two from the high school. It’s nice not to have to work my schedule around school drop off and pick up.
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We celebrate on the last day of school each year. Not looking forward to having to battle the buses in the morning again in a month, but I’ll enjoy the quiet for now.
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Like you, I’m amazed (and dismayed) at how fast the years have flown by. I feel like we were just setting out on “real life” adventures and now I find myself “winding down” and contemplating how I want to spend the final chapters before we reach THE END.
I did decide that it is too soon for us to move to a CCRC. As long as we are both viable entities, there’s no rush.
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You are younger than I am and much younger than our friends so yes, it’s a bit early for you. There is always the caution to do it while you can make your own decisions.
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Of course, you’re right. All the current uncertainty (climate, politics, environment, tariffs, etc.) has made me long for certainty . . . but moving into a CCRC at this point would be premature “closure.”
So, we’ll take it a day at a time and hope we don’t wait too long. 😀
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Count me as sitting in the front row of your “Waxing Philosophical” lecture. It never ceases to amaze me that when I was young time moved at a snail’s pace and NOW it’s whizzing by at a break neck speed. I would actually like to go to a continuing care place – independent living to start but “more” if needed later. My husband isn’t at the “talking about it” stage. Sigh. Have a cool last few days of HOT HOT July.
Hugs, Pam
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It’s a hard decision for many. We downsized to a place where most people are our age. It’s very social so meets a lot of our needs now. There may come a point that we should move to a place we can upgrade in. Some of the local ones only take healthy people to start in independent living. If you wait too long and you really need help, your options become more limited
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Was just thinking, where did July go? The first of August is next Friday.
It’s still hot here with rain in the wings.
This age business also paid me a call this week. One of my oldest followers, and old in age as well i now learn, passed away. His daughter sent emails. He was the kindest man from Germany and I already miss him. In any event…here’s to new phones, cats and early Xmas shopping.
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I’ve lost a few bloggers who I am pretty sure died. One’s sister posted a farewell on her blog to let us all know but a lot of the time they just ride into the sunset and we never know what happened.
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This man had the nicest website. He traveled everywhere and posted magnificent photographs with captions. Nemorino taught me a lot. I’m so happy that I told him that. He never missed an essay of minde..was flattered because he was obviously so smart. Enjoy the day…as they recommend in AA…stay where your feet are.
Tell Gus to call me. 🙂
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He’s on it send sloppy cat smooches.
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I’ll take’em. 🙂
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Sad and scary!
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