Random 5 for March 23, 2025 – Words, wills, possessions, downsizing, projects

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Well, that’s nice! – I was at a family get together yesterday. One of my 30-something relatives introduced his “girlfriend” as his partner. I liked that. The whole girlfriend/boyfriend concept sounds very teenager-ish but there aren’t words to describe romantic relationships for older folks (not that this guy was older at all!). When my mom dated later in life, we would tease her that she had a “gentleman caller.” The concept of my mom having a “boyfriend” seemed weird. Partner is perfect.

End of life stuff – This past week we started the process of getting our stuff in order. We had an appointment with a new attorney who specializes in wills, estates and end of life documents. We married late in life and have different thoughts on how our assets should go after death. She was extremely helpful. She had suggestions we had never heard before. One thing that was new since the last time we reviewed our options was that in addition to a health directive (what the doctors should do when you get to be a vegetable), you should appoint “that person” who makes the decision to pull the plug. Focusing on this is unpleasant and I was not looking forward to it. I had to have pizza afterward. It was either that or a mocha latte or some good drugs. I’ve been involved in loved ones dying and it never goes as planned. Having instructions set up sure helps. It’s never too soon to do this. You can get hit by a truck tomorrow.

That kicked up other thoughts – Like downsizing. I have three sewing machines. Two are specialty types and I used them all a lot. I sewed clothes when I was young but for the last couple of decades I did window treatments, cushions, and other home décor items. I rarely do any sewing these days so why do I have three sewing machines and how do I downsize them? I’m not a hoarder but when I like or enjoy something, I collect the tools.

Yep, that’s me on a ladder painting.

Speaking of downsizing – I don’t mind downsizing clothes. It’s easy except for those few pieces that you don’t wear and can’t part with. I recently downsized our paints. I swear those paint cans mate and reproduce in the basement. I had some of those small sample containers from our last house (and I have no idea why I would keep them). There were several gallon cans with barely a covering of paint in the bottom and some that had totally hardened. We’ve only been here 3-1/2 years. How did this happen? This was an easy job.

The start of projects yet again – We are finished with large projects but there are a few maintenance-type projects coming up. They all start in April. If we are lucky, we will glide through the summer without any active projects. That will be a real treat. I love peace and quiet.

So how was your week?

58 thoughts on “Random 5 for March 23, 2025 – Words, wills, possessions, downsizing, projects”

  1. Partner is a good term for adult boyfriends/girlfriends! It just sounds a bit more grown up for sure! And I agree – downsizing is hard. It’s hard to know what to do with some of the stuff!

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  3. I daydram about doing an extreme downsizing. A swedish death cleaning if you will. I did it once in my thirties and it was like having a weight lifted off my body. I had no idea how much the stuff was weighing on me.

    But alas, my general sloth nature makes me reluctant to pull out everything from a closet and go through it. It feels daunting and huge and I don’t have the push of an immediate reason.

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    • It is overwhelming. I can only do it by doing a category at a time. Paint was easy. Clothing is easy too. When it comes to home stuff, that’s hard and all the categories morphed together.

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  4. It’s amazing that she could tell them to take out the breathing tube, and they did it!

    All of my mother’s adult relatives were at the hospital and agreed she would want the machines turned off.

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  5. I wish I hadn’t downsized and let go of my portable sewing machine. Not that I make clothes, reupholster the couches, make drapes anymore, but once in a while a machine is faster than hand sewing HAHAHA (Darn those little needle eyes)

    It’s important to make plans – and make sure all involved understand and will abide by them. I may be the youngest but my dad knew I would be the one who could make tough final decisions – and be able to do it. It’s not easy.

    We downsized but darn where did all this stuff come from? UGH not looking to struggle through all the keep/save(for what?) again!

    Painting I will consider – but all those other tools….uh, no

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    • My mom chose me, the youngest too. Maybe because I was closest to her and knew what she would want. Sometimes it’s the “pretty” house stuff that’s hard to cull. Baskets (the ones I really like), seasonal stuff (we did a huge cull on Christmas) and that sort of thing. I have chicken statues that are going next! 🙂 Lovely in my last home but no where to put them here.

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  6. I understand your desire to have the right tool aka your sewing machines. I feel the same way about cooking appliances and utensils. I agree that paint cans mate in the basement. We have oodles of them, too.

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    • One of the sewing machines is strictly for stretch fabrics like double knits. It’s a hemmer. I don’t make clothes anymore so that one can go for sure. Cooking appliances, sigh. I’ve downsized some like the bread machine and extra Keurig coffee maker. Some extra pans too but I still have a panini maker (that I rarely use), griddle (ditto), burger patty grill (probably a George Foreman knockoff, ditto) along with 3 crockpots (different sizes — those I use) and I keep thinking of getting an air fryer. Those are the hardest for me to downsize.

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  7. Hmm, those are all things I need to do. I have a lot of stuff I should get rid of, paperwork I should do…. Sadly, just thinking about it all is so overwhelming I always put that stuff off for later and have pizza now. Hence, I have a muffin top and a ton of excess stuff that needs to go!! Kudos to you for biting the bullet and getting it done.

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  8. I definitely like the term, partner. Paint cans are a challenge because I always keep them thinking I just might need them. Not. Then here we have to let it all dry up and dispose of in the garbage pick up. As for death and dying, it reminds me of the old Kermit song “It’s not easy being green,” only in this case it’s not easy dealing with aging issues.

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  9. we have to do that this year too… it brings tears to me immediately but the lawyer is right… he said its better to take it from a warm hand than from a cold one… but it is a topic what brings sadness…. sigh…

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    • I does. I cleaned out after my mom died and I don’t wish that on anyone. In addition to it being a lot of physical work, it was also emotional work. I kept way too much of her stuff only to release it over the years.

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  10. Very wise to get your affairs in order. We did our will, power of attorney and proxy last year. I chose my niece to pull my plug because my hubby would never pull it. As long as something gives you joy, you should keep it and it sounds like the sewing machines give you joy.

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    • Not all the sewing machines. I can downsize one of them at least. The main one with a normal stitch is 30 years old and starting to give me trouble. Fix it or replace it? Decisions, decisions. It’s a Bernina so maybe fix it.

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    • I think that’s a choice we all would make but it’s hard for the loved ones to do it. Recently my neighbor friend died from the complications of breast cancer chemo. She was lucid enough to tell them that she wanted the breathing tube out. She died within 2 hours.

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  13. I admire your bravery on the ladder – me, I don’t go past the second step on a five-foot ladder without hanging on for dear life. 🙂

    I still have my sewing machine in its cabinet and matching chair from my sewing-my-own-clothes days, back when tall sizes were non-existent for pants and jackets. Dresses and skirts were fine but pants and jackets looked like they belonged to my younger sister.

    I had to do that designation of DNR with my trust/estate docs last year. That was easy for me because I have no relatives, so the attorney or his daughter (attorney in his firm) are “it”. I have to get a note for inside my car. I do have his business card and cellphone number on me every time I leave the house and I’m thinking of getting one of those ID bracelets that have the same info to wear when I’m out and about. My attorney told me to put a note on my fridge because if something happened to me in the house, first responders look to the fridge to see if there are notes of whom to contact in an emergency. It’s not fun stuff at all.

    My boss was my mom/my medical designate and the alternate designate was Marge our neighbor/friend who passed away in 2017. When my mom went by ambulance to the hospital in 2010, I rode up front with the driver, but Marge followed along behind the ambulance, with her DNR Order in her purse in case I balked at my mom’s wishes for DNR, but I was not going to do that. Our wishes to DNR were the same and I understood fully.

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    • My mother had a heart attack while she was in the hospital for an asthma attack so we did not have to make that decision. I like the idea of putting notes places where people will find them.

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      • That made it easier for you then. When my mom went for a hip revision in 1990, we were in the Admitting area and the desk clerk said “if you have a DNR Order and it’s not on file with the hospital, we’ll need one before you can be admitted.” Yikes! Nothing like instilling some confidence in the patient before a big operation. I kept seeing “Road iD” bracelete with pertinent info on it advertised on Facebook so I looked on Amazon which carries it. It is $24.99. I am going to get one next time I place an Amazon order. I like that idea of the notes too. My attorney has had three other “orphans” before me and said the fridge is where first responders look first for notes whom to call.

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  14. It seems like we’ve been downsizing for years and I can’t say we’ve made much of a dent. My focus now is on some random old jewelry and coins from my parents (both have been gone over ten years). They won’t be worth much (that’s not the point), but I hope to sell them or pass them on to someone whose interested.

    Do you have a Buy Nothing group in your area? I’ve gotten rid of tons of things through them (including a sewing machine). I write a Facebook post with pictures, someone says they want it, I put it on our porch, and they come and pick it up. Easy peasy.

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  15. I agree, “partner” is a good way to describe a romantic partner.

    How do you get rid of a sewing machine? That’s the trouble with cleaning out the closets and basement shelves. If something is good enough for the right person to use, where do you take it so they can find it?

    My mom was involved in many arts and crafts: sewing, knitting, oil and watercolor painting, shoe making, tole painting and china painting, not to mention gardening and canning. All those things require equipment. And how do you know whether you’re going to take up the craft again once you’ve stopped? So you can imagine that after she died, my sister and I had a lot of work to do.

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    • I got rid of a lot of my art painting supplies. My hands aren’t steady anymore. I also found someone who took piles of fabric but there are some things that would need that specific person and how do you find them? I had a lot to clean out from my mom. She had a house with all the tools, decorations, extra china that she never used, etc.!

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  17. The term partner is so cold in my estimation. I like the old I’d like you to meet my girlfriend. But who asked me?

    I made out a new will a few months ago. I was a terrible day. I along with some others at the law firm that day were invited to a lavish in-house brunch. I was such a wreck, who could eat? I said to the lawyer, “It feels like the Last Supper.” Her answer, “Oh how bout some cake.” I’ll tell ya.

    And about downsizing, just yesterday I threw out a floor lamp that hasn’t been working for some time but kept it for sentimental reasons. Screw that, I thought as I dragged it to the basement. It always feels good to lighten one’s load, doesn’t it? Best regards to Morgan, Sasha and Gus.

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  18. With regard to paint… our paint has multiplied and migrated to the master closet that has our old winter coats, gift wrap, hurricane stuff that needs to go when we evacuate and other things that are whatever because SSNS says the paints can’t stand the heat and humidity in the garage. No basements here = no storage. Our other master closet actually has what belongs in it… clothes and shoes but most of my clothes got shoved into the guest room closet with the Christmas decorations… so the paint could be comfortable.
    We got our stuff in order in 2021 and our stuff didn’t waste any time getting in disorder. And during that time our attorney left the the law firm and we aren’t thrilled with the options. The first time we got our stuff in order I found the whole business grueling and not eager to do it again. If I just had a basement, life would be almost perfect.

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    • Trust me, if you had a basement you would accumulate more stuff. Our old attorney was jailed and disbarred so he was a definite no. We loved him and he did good work for us. Not sure where he went off the rails.

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  22. Throughout Europe and in some other countries, “partner” is the common name for someone with whom one has a romantic relationship. We’ve been slow to adopt that because, here in America, “partner” was used to describe said romantic relationship when both parties in it were of the same gender, and more often didn’t relate to a romantic relationship at all. We cling to ‘significant other’ which is a mouthful.

    So, if your mom had gentlemen callers, was she their lady caller?

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    • I didn’t know that. Significant other is a mouthful for sure and not as nice sounding. I have no idea what his relatives called my mom. Hopefully, that nice lady he sees sometimes.

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  23. We went to a Quilt Museum yesterday that had dozens of sewing machines on display. So, having “3” machines seems like a tidy collection in comparison.

    Today, we are going to Kanapaha Botanical Gardens for a Spring Festival.

    This week, we also attended a Trivia Night at First Magnitude Brewery; descended 133 steps into a sink hole at Devil’s Millhopper; helped celebrate my niece’s birthday at Satchel’s Pizza and also at One Love Cafe; took a couple of Tai Chi classes; attended a Patchouli concert in Cedar Key; and gandered at antiques at Jolly Antiques in Chiefland.

    Whew! What a week!

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  24. People are talking more lately (or is it that I just my circle of friends is mostly my age?!) about wills, etc. We did our wills YEARS ago and most of the people specifically named are long gone. Time to update. Clearing out stuff is a BIG goal of mine. Includes furniture and junk I’ve hauled around for years – it’s time – it’s beyond time really. I think I will feel better AFTER but dread the DOING. sigh.

    Hugs, Pam

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    • I dread the “doing” too. Mostly because I’m not sure what to do with the stuff. I can donate some and toss some but what to do with a nice sewing machine? I could try to sell it but it’s a limited market.

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  25. We’ve done some of that downsizing, but there’s much more to go. We’ve done petting sitting for client who had to spend endless weekends or weeks cleaning out their parents’ homes after the parents were gone…hoping to not leave too much for Marley’s boys to have to deal with. We probably won’t be successful with that, but trying!

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    • My stuff is not nearly as overwhelming as Dan’s guitar stuff collection and workshop. That may need an auctioneer. I’m working on my thngs. Since we are still actively doing projects, it’s a tough call. We did get rid of the tile tools we had. At this point in life, we are not doing anymore tile jobs.

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