When I lived in another state many years ago, I made some very good friends. There is one I keep in touch with. Every year she sends one of those “this is what we did” letters at the holidays. They leave me happy for her, overwhelmed at all she does (they are older than we are) and thinking I’m pretty damn boring. That’s boring with a capital B.
They travel a lot. A whole lot! Most of it is to see family and friends or to take those people to see sights. One daughter lives in Canada and the other is moving across the country so there is a lot of traveling to connect.
When I lived near her, I loved her. She was a true people person. She always was there for anyone. She trudged around looking at cars when I had to buy one. I would walk in and say I want a red one. She was the one who asked about warranties, brakes and whatever was important. She could also negotiate much better.
It was hard to reciprocate because she had many friends. One Thanksgiving her kitchen was under construction so she and her family celebrated at my house. When I moved she was willing to have me and my two cats stay with her overnight to start out the next morning. (My cats voted that idea thumbs down so instead we drove late in the evening.)
Her husband was an executive who was downsized or outsized (whichever was in vogue at the time) but their life didn’t seem to change. It was all about people – hosting; visiting; traveling with or to.
A blogger recently posted about opposites attracting. From a people perspective we are opposites. I’m not a fan of lots of people around all the time. She hosted a European friend in her home for over a year while he was on a work assignment. I may do that (if it was a good friend) but I’d inwardly whine or drink a lot of Starbucks. Or maybe I’d find him a nice place to live that wasn’t in my house.
When I get these letters I realize how our lives have changed. I am not a traveler, complaining when I have to go to the distant warehouse store (30 minutes). I am happy that she is doing the things she likes to do and I’m also happy that I don’t have to. As a friend, I miss her a lot. We occasionally get together as couples but it’s not the same as sharing a tea or an impromptu trip someplace when you live blocks apart. She will always be someone special and I will always be her boring friend. Maybe opposites do attract.