The looking glass

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My mother (left) and her sister being silly! This captures the essence of her personality.

About a week ago I looked in the mirror and saw my mother staring back at me.

I was shocked. She’s been gone for decades.

It wasn’t the wrinkles. They are not new. It wasn’t that stray chin hair (that was a new one!).

We never looked alike. I share some of her features but have more from my Dad’s side. I am a different height, build and coloring. We never wore the same shoes or clothing. But I saw something in that mirror.

Part of it had to do with the dreadful haircut I got six weeks ago framing my face. It’s still growing out. I don’t wear my hair as short as my mother always did but it’s short now. She had beautiful chestnut colored hair that had shiny waves rippling all over.

My styling was similar enough to catch me off guard. Much as I complain about it, I like hair. Lots of it with lots of options that I never do. It’s not a chore for me. She was like that too. I have good memories of afternoons spent with my Mom and Lady Clairol! She was the mom who would have a purple streak if she were alive today.

It wasn’t just the hair. There was something about my smile that reminded me of her. Maybe it was my attitude too.

Here is a pictures of me with short hair a few years back. It’s hard to tell but I can’t see a resemblance.

My mother was progressive for her time. She thought for herself and lived her life as she wanted to. She was proficient in the dances of her day. She could twist her knees for the Charleston and wouldn’t be caught dead in tie shoes. She had a spark of mischief in her eyes.

We were so different in so many ways. Our experiences and upbringing were very different. She was raised during the depression. She sacrificed to give me opportunity yet instilled a sense of simplicity in my life.

Maybe similarities aren’t tied so much to resemblance but to values.

I wonder what she would think of her contrary daughter. Always the cheerleader, I hope she would be pleased.

60 thoughts on “The looking glass”

  1. I’m sure she would be pleased. You might be more like her than you think–or at least like some aspects of her. A couple of weeks ago I had lunch with a friend I hadn’t seen much in years. I could barely remember what she used to look like, but now she looks exactly like her mom.

    I think I used to look more like my mom than I do now. My sister and I are looking more alike though.

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  3. They are with us in many ways … seeing her in the mirror is a bonus! I used to see my Grandmother in me… and now my twin brother is looking back. It’s weird, when we didn’t look at all like one another when we were younger!

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  7. That’s a really lovely photo, Kate. I have a very strong impression your mom would be thrilled with you, and happy that others see her in you! I accompanied my mother to a memorial service on Saturday and we saw many of her friends that I haven’t seen in decades. I heard, over and over and over again how much I look like her. I don’t see it, but it must be true! 🙂 It’s a little bit of a shock, though, isn’t it? 🙂

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  8. Beautiful photo of you Kate! It is funny that as we age we then start to look more like our parents. I have never looked like my mom, but I hear her words coming out of my mouth now. Particularly as a grandmother now when I give pointers to my grandchildren. She did the exact same thing with my kids. And they listened! It’s comforting hearing her voice now and then-even if it’s from my own lips. 😁

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  9. Once in a while I see my mother in the mirror, but mostly I see her in my daughters. That should be comforting, since I used to wonder if I was adopted. Being the black sheep of the family, I didn’t have all the good character traits my brother had.

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  10. I love catching glimpses of my parents in my face.
    It was seeing my dad in my own face that made me feel still connected to him, even after he passed away. It’s nice to feel like those strings are still attached in there, isn’t it?

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  11. Great photo Kate! And I do see a resemblance, especially in the mischief making grins! I see my mom in the mirror now too and if I only had her sweetness, kindness and patience that would be the ultimate resemblance.

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  13. Great pictures! I would love your hair. Mine is so thin and fine. I had the same thought the other day as I looked in my mirror because I got my hair cut recently too. I have the bags under my eyes that my dad had. LOL the stray chin hair. I have one too and I think of “not by the hair of my chinny chin chin” each time I pull it out!

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  14. Nice photo Kate. I haven’t got any photos of Mum with her three brothers, but I do have a couple of her with her Dad in one of collages.
    I see Mum staring back at me every day. People have always said how much like her I am. My hair is half way down my back, Mum’s was never past her collar. I’ve got lots of photos of us here in my blog. There will be an entry in the Book of Remembrance on Sunday as it would have been Mum and Dad’s Wedding Anniversary.

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  18. I’m with Ally Bean. When are we going to see a purple streak in your hair?:-) It looks like both your mom AND your aunt were fun people.

    That’s a lovely photo of you. (The cats will be jealous. Did you clear it with them first?)

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    • I wouldn’t do purple. I’d most likely do a shade of blue. I saw it on a blonde woman and it was really nice. My mother was a character. She grew up in a very large family and they all knew how to have fun!

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  20. I am sure she would be pleased. Unless maybe she didn’t love cats.

    My sisters and I don’t look alike, but our voices and expressions are so similar that we freak people out. Even after living thousands of miles apart for decades.

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  21. Such a fun picture for you to have of your Mom and Aunt. Love it!
    I agree with Jill, I think your Mom would be very proud of you. I enjoyed the sweet post about her, and I also have the same question as Ally, when are you adding a purple streak to your hair? Maybe it would make you not dislike your hair cut as much! 🙂 And yes on an added note, I like the picture of you that you shared too!

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  24. So when will you be adding a purple streak in honor of your mother? 💜

    I occasionally see a glimpse of my mother when I look in the mirror. I’ve always looked more like my aunt, my mother’s sister, so to see Mom staring back at me is odd.

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    • The last time I saw my aunt (my mom’s sister) before she died about 2 years ago I asked if she knew who I was. She said yes that I looked just like my mother. She saw something that most people (including me) don’t.

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