Stuff I’m not good at

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Everyone brags about how good they are at things. Blah, blah, blah.

What about those areas where they fall short. Really short. Like lower than whale poop short. (It’s always good to work poop in a post because there are people googling that all the time!)

There are a few things I do poorly. (Yes, so hard to believe!)

My daily goal is to astound my husband with my knowledge of useless trivia. I do it by watching Jeopardy with him and making a huge production every time I know the answer. There are good days and bad days. There are also very bad categories.

Along with Greek mythology, “before and after” is one of them. It’s two words and the clue has two parts – one for the first word and one for the second. My mind doesn’t work like that.

Anagrams are another. Scrambled words or making one word out of the letters of another word. Unlike scrambled eggs which I enjoy, I cannot unscramble words in any timely way. Given a week or so, perhaps. Maybe with bacon. And Mr. Google.

Anything spatial – directions, leftovers, and other people’s ages, etc. My mother was the queen of what size container was needed for leftovers. I usually dirty up three before I find the perfect fit. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn’t be more efficient to toss the leftovers.

Ages are another thing altogether. My gym has people well in their 80s. I would guess mid-60s. Then again, I have younger friends who look like they are 110. (No, it’s not you! You look great.)

Directionally I am always off 180 degrees. This started at a young age but it’s very easy to treat. If I think I should go one way, I go the other. Except at a mall. For some reason, I never get turned around or lost at a mall. Occasionally my car does but that’s another story. Third floor, ladies lingerie…

Predicting the weather. I am so bad at this that I should be hired by the weather service. I would fit right in. My “glass half full” attitude (with either snow or rain) would be appreciated by audiences who are accustomed to predictions of the apocalypse at every drop of precipitation.

There…that’s me. Come one, ‘fess up something you are not good at!

68 thoughts on “Stuff I’m not good at”

  2. I am really not good at seeing when people are lying to me. LOL! Is that a strange thing to admit? I could just say that I’m gullible, but I actually think it’s worse than that. So, I suppose “reading people” isn’t my gift. And I have NO sense of direction and have been lost more than I’m typically willing to admit. The good thing about that is that I’m so accustomed to it that I don’t panic. On the other hand, I’m absolutely excellent at anagrams and word puzzles. 🙂

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  3. Great post and I loved everyone’s comments, including yours!

    I can’t tell jokes. I don’t even try. “Three guys and a cat walk into a bar…no wait it’s three guys and the cat is the bartender…”

    I’m lousy at remembering where various countries & cities are. I doubt I could successfully identify all the states if given a blank map of the U.S.

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  5. By your description of yourself you should be living in a bubble for safety. Obviously your coping/survival skills are stellar. Some of my skills, not so much…

    I too never pick the right size leftover container. Too big: Plop a lid on and shove it in refrigerator. Too small: Grab a spoon and eat until the lid will snap on (at least part way) and shove it in the refrigerator. Not sure is I’m getting lazier or more brilliant every day. 0.o

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  6. Really? People google poop? You’d think I’d be a No. 1 bestselling blogger!

    I can’t do anagrams, either, and math makes me crazy. But I really believe that much of it has to do with fear of failure. I was a science-phobe for the first half of my life. When I was plunged into the deep end of the pool with a science-based job, I swam and have been doing so ever since. As long as you don’t need any details, that is.

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  7. Sure, I can tell you what I’m not good at – remembering what initials stand for! As I was reading thru the comments I came across SEO. So, typically, I scrolled back thru your post and all the comments. Nowhere can I fathom what SEO means. I spend more time back paging and back scrolling to figure out stuff like that. When I get really lost I Google it and by that time I’m no longer interested in what I was reading. So what is it? I Googled it and I doubt that’s what you were discussing.

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  8. God, you had me laughing out loud on this one, Kate. Well done. I for the life of me cannot do the Jumble. Never could. I’m also terrible at figuring out a tip at a restaurant without one of those cheat cards you see in the Hallmark stores. – Marty

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    • The problem with tipping is that you have to do it AFTER the cocktail. I figured out the amount for splitting the bill with a group of work friends. I forgot the tip so everyone took their money back and I recalculated it. After that we made the finance people do the bill calculations.

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  9. Really? Three containers for leftovers before you get it right?
    I’m terrible in math and science. If some begins a sentence with the words, ” if a train is traveling at 60 miles and hour….” I begin to break into a cold sweat. I’m lost after fourth grade math and that’s pushing it.
    All kinds of sciences annoy me. I don’t care to know about any of it. My mind just isn’t wired that way.
    I’m also bad at looking at people in the eyes when we speak. I love eyes. They’re my favorite part of a person. But the problem is I look in someone’s eyes and they usually tell me more than their words and I’m constantly thinking about what they’re not saying than what they are.
    There’s more of course but I wouldn’t want to bore you..:)

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  11. Cracking up about your mention of people googling “poop”. Reminded me of another blogger perhaps 🙂
    Oh trust me I have a long list of things I am not good at. The top 2 are . 1. VERY directionally challenged. I can get turned around in a mall. I can get lost just about anywhere! It is why we don’t have a huge house 🙂 2. Am not artistic at all! When your 4 year old, (no not 4 anymore) asks you what that is supposed to be, you know you can’t draw! Stick people and hearts is what I can handle 🙂

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  12. I am not good at lying. I get flustered, turn red, stutter, and make a complete mess of it. Therefore, I have not tried it for 60 years. I learned a long time ago that I had best apologize left and right and get on with living

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  13. Greek mythology and anagrams are two of my “impress your friends” skills, but I share your condition of being orientationally and calendarly challenged. There is no birthday I can’t forget. And I have given my coworker a drive home about 20 times and he STILL has to tell me when and where to turn.
    On the other hand, I can be in a new city with no idea where I am and still find an excellent restaurant.

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  17. Thanks for the SEO tip. I’ll have to figure a way to incorporate that more. Who knew? I’m terrible at sports. Love watching baseball but about the only one I could even attempt was bowling and even that wasn’t consistent. Never hurts to admit shortcomings. Keeps a person humble 🙂

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  18. Like yourself, and many of your readers, I have a long list of things I just can’t master. But I’m too busy laughing right now to remember them! Great post!!

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  19. Here’s three:

    I am not good at gymnastics or acrobatics, including cartwheels, handstands, or back flips!

    I am not a good shopper . . . except for food.

    I am not good at feigning interest in long-winded tales of woe by Debbie Downers.

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    • Except for #2 (and I’m not near as patient as I used to be), I share your like. Especially #3. I do the bob and dodge when I see those Debbies coming. The bad part is I don’t even feel guilty.

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  20. I’m ok direction-wise in a mall but I have never, ever remembered where the hell I parked my car in the lot. Seriously, I could leave a mall at midnight and still not find my car. As for weather forecasters…where else can you get paid so much to be so wrong so often? Dream job.

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  26. Walking over uneven surfaces – I trip over centre lines on roads.
    Get disoriented easily – A contractor (in our basement) recently asked me what was on the other side of our specific section of wall. Front garden? Back garden? Driveway perhaps? Who knows?
    Short term memory – That’s just an age thing! (How do socks get into the freezer?)
    There was something else that came to mind a few moments ago… but short term memory and all that! 🙂

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    • As I went to put my vitamins in the freezer yesterday I stopped to take in what I was doing. (The are kept in a basket on the counter.) That’s when I wonder if I should book a room at a home for the occasionally mentally challenged but delightful in other ways person.

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